Will She Come Back?

[louis1002004]

I've been seeing this girl for nearly 2 years. The first year she gave me so much love and although I loved her, I never really showed it to her that much back. I went travelling for 3 months and she waited for me to return, we kept in contact whilst I was away. When I got back I felt restless & didn't know what I wanted to do with my life & I neglected her a bit. She was gutted as she had put her life on hold for 3 months waiting for me to finish my travelling. She finished it with me soon after which brought into focus to me how much I really love her & care for her - she means everything to me. I've since poured my heart out to her and have been showing her that I'm her perfect man & we've discussed our feelings. She says she loves me with all her heart but she's not "in love" so much anymore, enough for her to end it. We've tried unsuccessfully to get her "in love" feelings back a few times. We are best friends & she says she misses me an incredible amount.

 

This is the last email I sent to her 5/10/04 & her reply - Will She Come Back?

 

How are you?

 

Sorry to disturb you. I didn't sleep that well last night, was doing some

thinking.

You originally finished with me back in July, after a few false re-starts we

are now in October and nothing has changed. So your right, we both now need

to let go, step back and clear our heads. I need to feel free too and hope

this love-sick feeling in my stomach fades soon.

Its also totally unfair for me to say that you shouldn't go and "see whats

out there". You need to do what works for you - I promise I won't be

judging.

 

Sorry its taken me so long to face the reality of losing you. My heart has

been ruling. Its not doing me any good thinking of you 24 hours a day. We

have both had our hearts broken by each other, love is a funny thing eh!

Still can't listen to Amy Winehouse without crying. Don't think of it as

I've put you back to square one again - we havn't seen each other. Thanks

for being understanding.

And you never know, one day we may meet and both be able to give each other

100% at the same time.

 

Trying my very best to be strong & not listen to my heart.

 

HER REPLY:-

 

God...what an email. Im not angry with u, just hate the reality of it all. Sorry u didn't sleep last night, i was up till about half one too, so am very tired this morning. I had never thought of it like that u know...finishing in July and nothins changed. Seems like a long time to be confused doesnt it? All i can say is that having your support with reference to "seeing whats out there" is worth more to me than anything. Even if its a silent support, at least its there.

 

I dont want to be harsh with you and weve been through this soooo many times but u can't 100% blame me for wanting different things. I gave you so much, so soon and recieved nothing back for so long. It doesnt justify me sleeping around (because you know i wont) but it shouldn't be held against me either. I know its a bitter, large pill to swallow but it hurts the same vice-versa.

 

U are very much in my thoughts/heart and without a doubt see the value of a future with you. I do pray that my feelings change and i can once again open my heart up to you.

 

Take care

 

I really can't bear the thought that she wants to "See Whats out There"

HELP - What should I do?

[Jilly10340]

If you've tried your hardest to get her back and it's just not working, the only thing to do is to let her go. Maybe after some time out there in the "field" she'll realize just how much you mean to her and will come back to you. Sometimes it takes being away from someone to make them realize how much they want you.

 

I would just stick around and wait for her, but don't wait ON her. Go out and make yourself happy too. Maybe you guys dating other people for awhile will be a good thing. It worked for me and my ex and after almost three months apart we got back together last week. I'm glad that I dated other people because I know that he's the one I want to be with, I never felt the same with someone else. Maybe your girl will realize this too.

 

I'm sure things will work out for the best. Good luck!

[Ilovehertodeath]

You told her how you felt....nothing more you can do. You have to start going out again, dont stay home because you will always think about her and you will SUFFER. Best thing to do in your situtation would be to just let go and accept the fact thats shes gone....She might return, she might not..dont wait around for her. Work on yourself...WORK OUT! FIND A BETTER JOB! MEET NEW PEOPLE! ENJOY LIFE....etc. Just remember that god knows what hes doing..theres a reason this happened. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP! IF YOU EVER FEEL LIKE UTTER CRAP....GET ONLINE AND TALK TO US...we are going through the same CRAP! =)

 

 

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND BE SAFE! EVERYONE HERE LOVES YOU!

[louis1002004]

Thank you, your advice is very helpfull.

I hoping she will come back & she has said she needs to miss me in order to get her "in love" feelings back, she said they had not dissappeared altogether. Is it possible for those feelings to return?

One thing though, she said she was going to keep in touch with me, how should I reply to her emails?

[Jilly10340]

I think it's possible for the "in love" feelings to return, she just has to let them. Some people hold them back and suppress them for a number of reasons (afraid of being hurt, etc.) If she really loves you, she'll come back in time.

 

And if she doesn't come back, you'll find someone who really does love you and you'll love them in return. Think of it as a win-win situation.

 

If she emails you, just act like everything is normal. Just be yourself. If you act all weird and stuff, she'll pick up on that. It used to drive me nuts when I used to talk to my ex and he would act like everything was normal and he was fine without me. It just made me want him more!