whats up?

[angel eyes]

Heres my problem I have been married for many years , I married young and loved him deeply and still do , but my marriage was not very happy and I had lost my self just to keep his love , After he had betrayed me I have been going tough something horrible , I woke up out of my dream and now ,after going to counceling , have to ask my self a 32 year old women do I want to be married ? Is the love enough? and why wasn't it enough for him ? He has always been controlling and very jealous of me going anywhere with out him he says he loves me and can't live without me but says he won't stop wanting other womens attention , I have taken back control of my life and have a good chance to become what i want to be as far as career and strength to move on if need be , He wants me to stay in our marriage but knows that he will not like it if I work with other men , especially if I have to work late or have lunch meetings which might be the case , I know he will act like an immature idiot and do something to cause me problems with my work which will cause problems in our relationship ,He has always said he wanted me to get a good paying job but everytime I try he puts these hang ups on me and conditions,I think it is impossible to work in an all women enviorment which is a request he made , and why should I have to put up with such request isn't it rediculous ? Can you imagine going to an job interview (which is hard enough) and get a position you want and the pay you need (which is very hard) and then find out you will be working in an office mostly men and be put in a position to have to say OH i am sorry I can't take the job that is perfect because I can't work with men . I mean am I surpose to put that on my application ??? Rediculous ??

[Rogue]

I don't know what to say.You're right and he's wrong.You need the money,obviously,and working with men shouldn't be a problem,but for him it is.That's wrong,but I don't know what you can do about it without making a mess.

 

You can let him know that it's not unusual for women and men to work together.Remind him that his mother probably worked with men,and that didn't mean there was something wrong with her.You can point out other women in his life who work,and nothing is wrong with them either.You can show him the monthly bills,and let him pay everything himself if he can. None of that will work,since he's really not thinking straight.

 

It's not right how he's treating you,but I can't think of a solution off hand.You can suggest counselling,but he'll just say no.You can argue about it,he will just turn into a jerk.You cna go ahead and just get a job,but he'll be so immature,like you said,he'd probably get you fired. My only suggestion is to look for people who've had a similar problem and see how they dealt with it.Or maybe get his mother or someone in his family to talk to him about it? I don't know what you can do.