Do you STILL think your "looks" are holding you back? (for the Struggling Fellas)

[USMCHokie]

You took the initiative and it paid off.

 

No, he experienced success and his confidence improved. I don't think he had the confidence when he asked her out.

[charlietheginger]

wow what a great motivational speaker using made up

Stories to build ugly guys self esteem ....

Now send him $199 for his seminar and cds

 

Or just send me $9.95 and ill tell you made up babble

....

I was in an airport i saw a fat ugly guy grab a beautiful

Womans hand

You can do it to dont be scared

.....

[FitChick]

As a woman, my take on this encounter was that the guy seemed non-threatening and fun. He was tiny and there were three of them so he couldn't cause any trouble. I don't think any of the women were thinking they'd want to have sex with him. If he had looked like Zach Galifianakis in Hangover, I am less sure they would have invited him to their room, perhaps suggesting they meet in the lobby later.

 

Still the basic idea of approaching women with a casual, friendly attitude and a plan for fun is usually a winning strategy. People in a strange town on vacation are less guarded.

[ltjg45]

Reread the story. The guy was short and ugly and he succeeded.

 

The story never actually mentioned his level of looks so you can't really use that argument.

[USMCHokie]

wow what a great motivational speaker using made up

Stories to build ugly guys self esteem ....

 

I had totally forgotten to consider this.

 

::golf clap::

[ltjg45]

wow what a great motivational speaker using made up

Stories to build ugly guys self esteem ....

Now send him $199 for his seminar and cds

 

Or just send me $9.95 and ill tell you made up babble

....

I was in an airport i saw a fat ugly guy grab a beautiful

Womans hand

You can do it to dont be scared

.....

 

Pretty much. My email get bombarded with these messages saying basically the same thing.

 

This story sounds just like that crap I keep seeing in my email box.

[charlietheginger]

Single data point...

 

Anyway, there are a few things I'd like to point out in that little anecdote. First, it's Vegas. There are some pretty busted-ass club promoters out there that can get the girls all giddy like that when they are invited to club events. It's not about the guy, it's about what he can offer. Second, no knock on Brazilians, but like it was mentioned before, they love clubs and events. If they are indeed visiting from Brazil, they are probably pretty excited to get an invite somewhere from a friendly looking American. From my too many trips to Vegas, I would conclude that this is more of a sales pitch than a pickup. But merely my opinion based on the facts given in the article.

 

Chances are the chicks just wanted him for free drinks and drugs

A handfull of extacey and $200 in drinks will have most

Chicks panties down by 2 am....

 

Simple fact chicks in vegas party you pay for booze and

Drugs and they play with you.!

[ThaWholigan]

No, he experienced success and his confidence improved. I don't think he had the confidence when he asked her out.

At risk of sounding weird - you cannot rely on success to build confidence. That's called building your house on sand instead of on rock.

 

Still, if it helps you guys to see it that way, that's fine. I wouldn't adhere to that mindset though.

 

I believe confidence begets success.

[USMCHokie]

Chances are the chicks just wanted him for free drinks and drugs

A handfull of extacey and $200 in drinks will have most

Chicks panties down by 2 am....

 

Simple fact chicks in vegas party you pay for booze and

Drugs and they play with you.!

 

No, they take your booze and drugs and then go "play" with the hot guy at the next table over, panties down by 2 AM.

[somedude81]

You took the initiative and it paid off.

 

No, he experienced success and his confidence improved. I don't think he had the confidence when he asked her out.

Here's the thing.

 

I almost always take the initiative.

 

What happened is I did my thing. She responded favorably and I stepped it up a notch. And now that it worked, I feel better, and more likely to do it again.

 

If I manage to sleep with this girl and it ends for some reason, I'll probably go out hitting on girls like crazy. My confidence will be through the roof.

[USMCHokie]

At risk of sounding weird - you cannot rely on success to build confidence. That's called building your house on sand instead of on rock.

 

Still, if it helps you guys to see it that way, that's fine. I wouldn't adhere to that mindset though.

 

I actually think confidence without success is building the house on sand...because without personal first hand knowledge that you are desirable and can be successful, you must go purely off of speculation and guessing. "Belief," if you will.

 

I can loosely analogize it to religion v. science. Religion relies on faith and belief, while science relies on actual trial and observation. So religion could be comparable to the theory that confidence begets success, while science could be comparable to the theory that success begets confidence. I personally believe in the latter.

 

I believe confidence begets success.

 

Chicken or the egg....chicken or the egg....

[ThaWholigan]

Here's the thing.

 

I almost always take the initiative.

 

What happened is I did my thing. She responded favorably and I stepped it up a notch. And now that it worked, I feel better, and more likely to do it again.

 

If I manage to sleep with this girl and it ends for some reason, I'll probably go out hitting on girls like crazy. My confidence will be through the roof.

Maybe for some, success begets confidence and for others its the other way around?

 

Its definitely the latter for me.

[USMCHokie]

Here's the thing.

 

I almost always take the initiative.

 

What happened is I did my thing. She responded favorably and I stepped it up a notch. And now that it worked, I feel better, and more likely to do it again.

 

If I manage to sleep with this girl and it ends for some reason, I'll probably go out hitting on girls like crazy. My confidence will be through the roof.

 

When he experiences a success, he is more convinced that doing it again will net him a success. As one becomes more successful, he will be more willing to take chances, as he will learn to expect success.

[ThaWholigan]

I actually think confidence without success is building the house on sand...because without personal first hand knowledge that you are desirable and can be successful, you must go purely off of speculation and guessing. "Belief," if you will.

 

I can loosely analogize it to religion v. science. Religion relies on faith and belief, while science relies on actual trial and observation. So religion could be comparable to the theory that confidence begets success, while science could be comparable to the theory that success begets confidence. I personally believe in the latter.

 

 

 

Chicken or the egg....chicken or the egg....

It would be silly of me to rely on something as unpredictable as success to build by self-esteem and confidence. That's why I build it up before I achieve success.

[USMCHokie]

Maybe for some, success begets confidence and for others its the other way around?

 

Its definitely the latter for me.

 

I'm beginning to think that both are correct. It's just a different way of looking at it. But at the end of the day, they net the same result. Like I mentioned earlier, it's like science and religion. Just different perspectives on the same universe.

[charlietheginger]

I hate to break this to everyone....

If your a 4 or 5 you ain't banging a 9 or 10

 

Unless your being used for your wallet....

 

Why would a woman thats a 9 10 go so low....

 

Some guys that cant break 5 need to simply except it

No amount pua material smooth talking is gonna keep

Her interest

[MercuryMorrison1]

I never felt my looks were holding me back, I've always been told by the opposite sex that I am good to look at.

 

The only thing I think that's ever held me back was my own fear of rejection.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Well, I can only assume I was one of the main targets for this thread and I'm honored!

 

The story is not particularly inspiring to me because I've never been into the hottest women in all my life. I'm the kind of guy who thinks an average woman who some guys are into and others are not is absolutely gorgeous. The type of women who wouldn't even get a 2nd glance at places like Skybar, Wet Republic or the Bellagio. And from what I've read from the other struggling dudes here, they're the same.

 

So, if those women reject me after getting to actually know me, you're saying that I should be going after leggy models with cold approach in Las Vegas lobbies instead?

 

BTW, I posted something last week of going to a network event and trying to socialize with several women (none of whom were even close to being models) and them pulling away from me. It was basically ignored and I was ridiculed as a whiner.

 

Could my game use work? Probably. Do I try? Yes. I don't really want to hear a story about how some ugly guy with super game is able to pull hot women. I want to hear a story about how some average woman will give a guy who is not all that a chance because he seems like a decent guy who genuinely wants to get to know her. Now THAT would be inspiring.

[USMCHokie]

I don't really want to hear a story about how some ugly guy with super game is able to pull hot women. I want to hear a story about how some average woman will give a guy who is not all that a chance because he seems like a decent guy who genuinely wants to get to know her. Now THAT would be inspiring.

 

It's all about marketing and reaching the widest audience possible. Remember, all of that stuff is a business first, and they want their product to appeal to the largest group of people possible for the $$$. And in marketing, you have to make some assumptions. In this case, they are assuming that men value looks above all and that all men want the most physically attractive women possible.

 

Your desire for "average" girls is too much of a niche for them to spend time on.

[PJKino]

Lets be honest SD didnt get anymore confident or positive and thats why he got a women to say yes to a date he was still posting the same stuff he always has up until he met this new girl the only difference is he simply met a girl who was physically attracted to him or isnt as shallow as other women he hit on.

 

As he said if he were a good looking dude he wouldnt have had to go through all the rejection he did to finally get a yes

[JuneJulySeptember]

It's all about marketing and reaching the widest audience possible. Remember, all of that stuff is a business first, and they want their product to appeal to the largest group of people possible for the $$$. And in marketing, you have to make some assumptions. In this case, they are assuming that men value looks above all and that all men want the most physically attractive women possible.

 

Right. I can't remember the last time I heard a PUA site saying, "OK. I saw this short, ugly guy walk up to the slightly chubby/cuteish girl with the cardigan sweater and horn rimmed glasses. You guys can do it too!"

[MrRightNow]

You'd have to be delusional to deny that looks matter. Being good-looking is a huge advantage when it comes to dating. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with this. That being said, a below average looking guy can still do well with women if he's charming and fun to be around.

 

As for the Vegas story, Brazilian women are usually very friendly. Women on vacation are also less guarded and more willing to hang out with strangers. That guy was also offering them a good time. There's no reason to believe he scored with any of those women, let alone all three of them.

[Mme. Chaucer]

No, he experienced success and his confidence improved. I don't think he had the confidence when he asked her out.

 

Whether he had confidence or not, he acted with confidence when he asked. Or else, as has happened before (even more than once, I think!) the asking wouldn't have happened.

[USMCHokie]

Whether he had confidence or not, he acted with confidence when he asked. Or else, as has happened before (even more than once, I think!) the asking wouldn't have happened.

 

No, he exhibited behaviors that create an image of confidence. There's a subtle, but I believe important, difference between that and acting with confidence.

[charlietheginger]

You'd have to be delusional to deny that looks matter. Being good-looking is a huge advantage when it comes to dating. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with this. That being said, a below average looking guy can still do well with women if he's charming and fun to be around.

 

As for the Vegas story, Brazilian women are usually very friendly. Women on vacation are also less guarded and more willing to hang out with strangers. That guy was also offering them a good time. There's no reason to believe he scored with any of those women, let alone all three of them.

 

True watching a guy walk up to bat doesn't mean he

Hit a home run...

 

Seeing a real estate agent show a house doesn't mean

She makes the sale...

 

all that was supposedly taking place was 3 babes being

Approached by a ugly dude......

 

For all we know those 3 women could have been

Men dressed as women or women that needed to

Find eazy targets to marry and get american citizenship