Do you STILL think your "looks" are holding you back? (for the Struggling Fellas)

[ThaWholigan]

I have never seen any lookers on LS.

F You, I'm pretty as f*ck

 

[Treasa]

Yet for many males who come here they have been ruled out.

 

Coming here and constantly bitching is probably prohibiting them from going out there and meeting more people, or actually working on themselves and their own happiness.

 

I don't come here to bitch.

[Treasa]

Yeah, it's my lack of finding minimal-wage work.

 

That is the reason why there is no chance in hell I can even garner attention from a woman.

 

I'm at least is willing to admit that much. I'm not so stupid to the point where I can say that a decent woman wants a broke man

 

That is provided I'm worthy of being called a "man".

 

Stop that. It's not attractive, and it's damaging to yourself.

[Star Gazer]

Stop that. It's not attractive, and it's damaging to yourself.

 

Yup. Again, not related to looks, but attitude.

[Treasa]

The problem preexisted their registration on the forum and some have done exactly what you deny they are doing without any success.

 

They're doing it wrong, then. I was once where they were, despite being a female, and I'm very happy with my life, even though I'm not dating anyone and don't plan on ever dating or marrying anyone.

 

Spending time here just constantly complaining isn't doing anything but perpetuating the state they've put themselves into.

 

Imagine if Rocky or Commando or Wreck-It Ralph (I'm using examples here; I realize they are fictional) had said, in the first 15 minutes, "**** it. I'm ugly and no one wants me, so I'm going to go somewhere and endlessly complain about my life."

 

I mean, if it makes them happy, then keep at it. But they don't seem happy.

[ltjg45]

Stop that. It's not attractive, and it's damaging to yourself.

 

I lost all of my attractiveness the moment I realized I went 5 years and got no job offers to show for it.

 

This "stance" changes nothing esp. since it has some facts anyway. I live with my mother and brothers, all 3 of my brothers has some form of income, and I don't even have a clue what to do.

 

Despite this, I'm a "man"? Last I checked, men would bring something to the table. I don't see anything that I can bring outside of a pile of denied job application papers to the most pitiful places to work in Jacksonville.

 

I could go to a gym and increase my physical body but what good would that do me when I can't find fast food restaurant work?

 

If there is hope somewhere on this planet, it's not in Jacksonville. That much is for sure.

[ThaWholigan]

I think the only time my looks have ever held me back was in terms of grooming/style - I look a lot better without my beard, and when I wear brighter colors it seems.

 

I think sometimes it's just a case of style/grooming. Gotta make the best of what you got. I used to think I was ugly when I struggled too. I came around to the idea that maybe I wasn't after a while.

[Treasa]

I lost all of my attractiveness the moment I realized I went 5 years and got no job offers to show for it.

 

This "stance" changes nothing esp. since it has some facts anyway. I live with my mother and brothers, all 3 of my brothers has some form of income, and I don't even have a clue what to do.

 

Despite this, I'm a "man"? Last I checked, men would bring something to the table. I don't see anything that I can bring outside of a pile of denied job application papers to the most pitiful places to work in Jacksonville.

 

I could go to a gym and increase my physical body but what good would that do me when I can't find fast food restaurant work?

 

If there is hope somewhere on this planet, it's not in Jacksonville. That much is for sure.

 

Where else have you applied to besides fast food? What is your education?

[JuneJulySeptember]

When you're both 70 and at a little formica breakfast table in your senior living condo in southern Florida reading the paper and talking about your Bridge game last night and whether to go to Bingo tonight, and when you should go on vacay to visit the grandkids, what you look like isn't going to matter. Women intuitively know this. We want to be attracted to you, yes, but for women, attraction is based on a hell of a lot more than what you look like.

 

Develop those breakfast table qualities, guys.

 

BTW, I will say I do like this very much and am in full agreement.

[ltjg45]

Where else have you applied to besides fast food? What is your education?

 

I only got a high school diploma and I can't go to college due to stupidity on my fault that got me a defunct school loan.

 

I don't shoot for jobs that I'm not qualified to apply for.

 

I'm not that stupid to shoot for higher than what I can aim for at the time.

 

If nothing else, I know my place in this world.

[Xinreeki]

 

Imagine if Rocky or Commando or Wreck-It Ralph (I'm using examples here; I realize they are fictional) had said, in the first 15 minutes, "**** it. I'm ugly and no one wants me, so I'm going to go somewhere and endlessly complain about my life."

 

I mean, if it makes them happy, then keep at it. But they don't seem happy.

 

 

It doesn't help but it doesn't hurt or perpetuate a thing.

 

Constantly bashing your own self worth and wallowing in bitterness and negativity doesn't hurt or perpetuate a thing??

[Treasa]

They are doing it the same way as the successful except without the results.

 

 

That's like a white or Asian person trying to understand black problems.

 

You gave up and are happy with it. That has little relevancy to them.

 

It doesn't help but it doesn't hurt or perpetuate a thing.

 

I didn't give up anything. I have three guys after me right now, and although one would be perfectly suitable, I don't want a relationship.

 

I also have a guy who lives in my house who is damn near perfect, but again, I don't want a relationship.

 

The "result" is being happy with yourself. Truly being in love with yourself and having fun with yourself. They haven't achieved that.

[Treasa]

I only got a high school diploma and I can't go to college due to stupidity on my fault that got me a defunct school loan.

 

I don't shoot for jobs that I'm not qualified to apply for.

 

I'm not that stupid to shoot for higher than what I can aim for at the time.

 

If nothing else, I know my place in this world.

 

This is what is holding you down. Someday you'll see that.

 

Get out there and make something of yourself, child. Even if it means volunteering somewhere.

[ltjg45]

Even if it means volunteering somewhere.

 

That is the only thing that I can do left now.

 

All of the other avenues is shut. If I have no value in this world, I might as well be a slave and be of some use to someone.

 

I can at least accept that.

[clia]

That is the only thing that I can do left now.

 

All of the other avenues is shut. If I have no value in this world, I might as well be a slave and be of some use to someone.

 

I can at least accept that.

 

I lost all of my attractiveness the moment I realized I went 5 years and got no job offers to show for it.

 

This "stance" changes nothing esp. since it has some facts anyway. I live with my mother and brothers, all 3 of my brothers has some form of income, and I don't even have a clue what to do.

 

Despite this, I'm a "man"? Last I checked, men would bring something to the table. I don't see anything that I can bring outside of a pile of denied job application papers to the most pitiful places to work in Jacksonville.

 

I could go to a gym and increase my physical body but what good would that do me when I can't find fast food restaurant work?

 

If there is hope somewhere on this planet, it's not in Jacksonville. That much is for sure.

 

A lot of people have given you advice and suggestions on what to do about your job situation in several threads, including some that are still active right now. Most of it you either ignore or provide an excuse as to why that won't work. I'm starting to think you just like complaining about your situation. Nothing is going to change unless you make it happen. A year from now you don't want to still be complaining about your lack of job and living with your mom and brothers.

 

How many job applications have you actually submitted in the past five years? How many have you submitted so far this week?

[Treasa]

That is the only thing that I can do left now.

 

All of the other avenues is shut. If I have no value in this world, I might as well be a slave and be of some use to someone.

 

I can at least accept that.

 

A slave. Oh, FFS. I consider it an honor to be able to help others, whether they're people or animals.

 

See it as a privilege, continue seeking education (you don't have to be enrolled in a university to do that), and work on your attitude. The whole "of no value in this world" thing is a really unattractive attitude. It wouldn't matter to me what you looked like if you approached me and I found out this **** about you.

[Treasa]

The feelings they have are a product of their success. They don't perpetuate or hurt their situation but are a product of it. As soon as they get a little success like somedude it melts away.

 

And when/if it ends, he's going to come crashing down. That's my point. Find happiness within, regardless of what's going on around you. You can always choose to love yourself.

 

I haven't done anything different or achieved anything new, but in the past nine months or so, my entire world has changed. It's been amazing. Nothing external changed at all.

[ltjg45]

A year from now you don't want to still be complaining about your lack of job and living with your mom and brothers.

 

At this point, I already told my mother that I'm sick of this living situation I'm in and I want out after my "retarded" brother took $60 out of my wallet that was going towards bills and my mother did basically nothing after we got it back.

 

I rather be homeless and use the computer from a library than stay here and deal with this hell so I don't have to worry about that for much longer. My hatred for my family is really getting to a boiling point.

 

How many job applications have you actually submitted in the past five years? How many have you submitted so far this week?

 

I wouldn't even remember that number. It's far too many.

 

As for this week, zero, but that is because I'm dealing with feeding my mother fast food while dealing with the 2 bills and rent this week. There isn't enough time in the day to handle all of that and make a suitable effort at job searching.

 

Too much BS at this house.

[Xinreeki]

 

The feelings they have are a product of their success. They don't perpetuate or hurt their situation but are a product of it. As soon as they get a little success like somedude it melts away.

 

I know... I'm REALLY lazy... but I honestly couldn't be bothered to type out the same thing again...

 

 

But, hypothetically, what if that girl turned around tomorrow and dumped him, saying -

 

"It was all a wind up, I never really fancied you at all. You suck. You're a loser and you're going to die alone"

 

*A completely hypothetical scenario of course, and I hope it never ever happens (as that would be truly tragic )... *

 

But if it DID happen... (when he STILL harbors an internally negative attitude towards himself) then that rejection would hurt him a LOT MORE... than if he were to be internally confident and positive about future prospects... WITHOUT having to rely on EXTERNAL input to keep him sustained!

[Treasa]

At this point, I already told my mother that I'm sick of this living situation I'm in and I want out after my "retarded" brother took $60 out of my wallet that was going towards bills and my mother did basically nothing after we got it back.

 

I rather be homeless and use the computer from a library than stay here and deal with this hell so I don't have to worry about that for much longer. My hatred for my family is really getting to a boiling point.

 

 

 

I wouldn't even remember that number. It's far too many.

 

As for this week, zero, but that is because I'm dealing with feeding my mother fast food while dealing with the 2 bills and rent this week. There isn't enough time in the day to handle all of that and make a suitable effort at job searching.

 

Too much BS at this house.

 

Excuses. Are you actually feeding them to her, as in putting them in her mouth? Are you making the money to pay the bills?

 

I paid all my bills, my mortgage, AND worked my full-time job on Monday, and then went out and worked out that evening. I also had down time, time for meals, and plenty of sleep. How are you spending 16 hours every day paying bills and feeding someone?

[Treasa]

Why do women feel it necessary to make the conversation about themselves, gloat about their success, and give off the impression they are so much better than the opportunities afforded by their success when their high opinion of themselves is very much rooted in the options they get to turn their noses up at?

 

If you want to look at it that way, it speaks volumes about who you are, not who I am.

[Treasa]

Unless they had 100% investment in themselves. I don't care how much I love someone. If they told me they no longer wanted me in their life, I might be sad or disappointed for a little while, but I wouldn't fold. There is too much about myself and my life to be happy about. Starting with the fact that I am alive.

[ltjg45]

Excuses. Are you actually feeding them to her, as in putting them in her mouth? Are you making the money to pay the bills?

 

No, that is coming from my "retarded" brother. I lost any love and respect for him years ago. Now, he's just a nuisance. The only value he has is the $750 a month government check he brings in.

 

Even then, the hell he brings is not worth the money. Once I get out of here, I don't want to see him again. He is worthless to me.

 

As for the fast food, I go and get it for her while she stays at home and play expensive computer games she can't afford. It's not like I got a choice in the matter outside of giving her the middle finger and let her deal with this mess herself, which I will do. The retarded brother's money is in her name and I live under her roof. I'm just a servant to her if I stay here.

 

I paid all my bills, my mortgage, AND worked my full-time job on Monday, and then went out and worked out that evening. I also had down time, time for meals, and plenty of sleep. How are you spending 16 hours every day paying bills and feeding someone?

 

I never said that. I strictly said this week alone. Monday, Tuesday, and today. Monday, got $500 out and put that in the bank. Tuesday, got the remaining $280 and got the remaining out of my bank account for the rent but the money order machine is down. I couldn't pay the bills since the missing $60, my brother took that out of my wallet and went to school.

 

I took care of all 3 today but it was already 1 PM. Considering it takes 2 hours just to get somewhere to continue the job search, it's just a waste of time. There is nothing to be gained from that so I went back home and is figuring out what to do tomorrow.

 

At this point, I don't know if that will actually mean anything.

[Maleficent]

I only got a high school diploma and I can't go to college due to stupidity on my fault that got me a defunct school loan.

 

I don't shoot for jobs that I'm not qualified to apply for.

 

I'm not that stupid to shoot for higher than what I can aim for at the time.

 

If nothing else, I know my place in this world.

 

Most colleges will allow you to fix whatever problem is keeping you out of school. You owe them money? make a payment plan with them. Grades are too low? Register for courses as an 'independent student' and upgrade your average

etc

etc

 

You should. That's how I got my job - I got lucky

 

You can also decide to shoot for a higher place in this world.

[ltjg45]

You owe them money? make a payment plan with them.

 

.....

 

How the hell can you make a payment plan when you got no income?

 

How many times do I have to say that I don't have a single dollar to my name?

 

I didn't know money magically appears in my pockets. The only way I get a dime is when I steal it.