totallylost5040 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Scorpio your situation is similar to mine, Except I'm a dude. I had 3 great months with a girl who was trying to get closer and closer to me. Met her parents, did a couple of little day trips together spent the holidays together, all seemed fine. Then not more than a week after the holidays she gets distant, less texting, less enthusiastic to chat with me on the phone and then she becomes less available to hang out and cancels a date with me for the first time since we met. So not knowing any better I go on the chase trying to bring her back to where she was just a few weeks earlier. And I start to look for certainty. She would say the right things but her actions didn't match up as she kept putting space between us. Then a few weeks over she gives me a bunch of BS reasons as to why she doesn't want a realtionship with me. And now I'm here like you. I hate myself b/c maybe I could've turned it around if I would've backed off when she did and not seem needy. Instead I pushed her away. I still don't understand what made her change her stance towards me? Another dude maybe? Afraid of relationships maybe? Who know? But like you im hurting and beating myself up over this, replaying every thing I said and did when she started to pull back. I guess it wasn't meant to be but damn I miss her! Now she jerks me around with the breadcrumbs. Same boat here buddy!!! I know how you feel, I was with a girl for 3 months... and yah.. I regret a lot of decisions... she's even tried contacting me blah.. We will NEVER know really.... only thing to do is, make ourselves more attractive, confident and awesome... then maybe she'll realize she made a mistake, either way, we turn out, well awesome!
totallylost5040 Posted June 12, 2013 Posted June 12, 2013 Scorpio your situation is similar to mine, Except I'm a dude. I had 3 great months with a girl who was trying to get closer and closer to me. Met her parents, did a couple of little day trips together spent the holidays together, all seemed fine. Then not more than a week after the holidays she gets distant, less texting, less enthusiastic to chat with me on the phone and then she becomes less available to hang out and cancels a date with me for the first time since we met. So not knowing any better I go on the chase trying to bring her back to where she was just a few weeks earlier. And I start to look for certainty. She would say the right things but her actions didn't match up as she kept putting space between us. Then a few weeks over she gives me a bunch of BS reasons as to why she doesn't want a realtionship with me. And now I'm here like you. I hate myself b/c maybe I could've turned it around if I would've backed off when she did and not seem needy. Instead I pushed her away. I still don't understand what made her change her stance towards me? Another dude maybe? Afraid of relationships maybe? Who know? But like you im hurting and beating myself up over this, replaying every thing I said and did when she started to pull back. I guess it wasn't meant to be but damn I miss her! Now she jerks me around with the breadcrumbs. Aw, crap. Here we goooo. My co-worker who hooked this guy and I up in the first place (they are golfing buddies) is having a housewarming party the end of this month, which would equal about 3 weeks, maybe 4 of NC. He invited us both when times were good and refuses to get in the middle of us, expecting us as adults to work it out and be civil. Should I go to this party? I know I have some time to decide, but my co-worker is moving to a new job and I won't see him in a professional manner anymore. He is like a brother to me. I can't ask him to un-invite the dude for me and I am trying to be mature, but it is killing me to think of being in the same room with him, not because I don't think I can't hold it together. I certainly can. But, because I have this fantasy of looking absolutely amazing him and barely making small talk, "proving" that I have moved on when I think we all know it's too soon. Any advice? I actually thrive on the idea of being in the same room as him and looking my best with that tiny female fantasy of him seeing what he is missing out on even though it's not realistic. How do I go about this? I don't think it's fair not to go and I don't want to be a baby and say he can't either. Scorpio. I might suggest this. As a man, we are very visual creatures... DRESS TO KILL, invite a friend with you, DO NOT GO ALONE. It'll spark up old memories. I wish I could do this with my ex as well... just rekindle that spark... tough to do though. 1
Author scorpio1978 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Posted June 13, 2013 I don't think I am going to go. The only way I think it would be a good idea is if I can think of being in the same room with him and not get that butterflies in the stomach feeling. So far, I am losing that battle big time! Today, somebody asked me about him and I felt like I was punched in the throat. Not a good feeling. I can look great and pretend to feel great, but at the end of the day, I just don't think I will be truly happy there. I will have an agenda other than celebrate my friend's new home and that isn't fair to him and not fair to me if I don't get the attention I am looking for. This sucks.
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