Author undergroundlife13 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Yeah i will. i feel so stupid Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Its been 2 months, he hasnt talked to me for a month and a half... If he really wanted to be with you, he would say it loud and clear. Seriously. Thousands of threads on here are by people who all SAY this. There is a lot of evidence on here that contacting an ex after you go No Contact, is likely going to seriously hurt you. Read all the threads on here about it. No matter how much he loved you, he obviously does not feel madly in love with you. He would not ignore you if he was. I am really sorry. I am looking at going No Contact with my ex very soon. While I cannot attest to no Contact and its miracles, I CAN say with 100% certainty: if my ex stays No Contact for 2 months or more, it is because he has decided he would rather move on because he is NOT madly in love with me and does not desperately need to be with me. I am so sorry you sound so frantic and upset! I know it feels awful to think about how much they loved you; yet you're not together anymore. The concept of " but he loved me SO much" And " we ..really DID have something special" ....it may HAVE been the case but this idea is not new. THOUSANDS of people on here have felt it too! next to none of them get back together and hear back from a dumper, unless the dumper is horny and lonely AND bored with no other options. ..................................................... PLEASE do NOT show up at his house:sick::sick::sick: What if another girl is there? They will both look at you like you're a desperate psycho. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I was ready to come in here and give tough love to the OP, but it seems like she's coming to her senses a bit. Honestly, you'll realize in time that he's doing you a favor by not contacting you. It will allow you to move forward if you choose to do so. There's nothing he can say that will give you closure -- you'll overanalyze it and his contact will create more questions in your head and more angst. It seems painful now, but in time you'll realize that he actually did you a solid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 I really hope she does not get overcome with the urge to just.. turn up at his house:sick: I hope she has learnt better. Link to post Share on other sites
crazy1234 Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 There is no closure here,nothing he can say will make all these frustrations of your's go away.Maybe you feel that if he gives u an answer u'll feel better,bt don't u think that he's already giving you his answers by not talking to u in any way?he is not blocking his calls or anything for no reason,some people just don't do it.That's how they roll..and lets face it we all love the chase.Don't do this to yourself.Don't lose you'r prestige to this guy who doesn't even bother to give you answers and instead left u despite knowing how miserable and hurt u will be.It will hurt for awhile.Hold on.Let these days pass as they are the most critical times and after sometime its only going to get better i promise.For now,let him go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author undergroundlife13 Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 Im done, its a new start Link to post Share on other sites
crazy1234 Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Im done, its a new start :)We dont deserve this.We deserve to be happy.I'm glad you did this. Link to post Share on other sites
JadedRomantic Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 YES you DO deserve an answer. So do i and so many of the dumpees on here. but you're being crazy and that isn't helping anything at all. You need to understand he is not your man anymore and owes you nothing (a large, jagged and hard pill to swallow). You're pissing him off and annoying him and instead of giving him time to rethink, reevaluate and to miss you, he now sees you as a persistent and annoying presence and you're just further letting him know that not contacting you or replying u is the best idea. Imagine if you were him ... he does not want to have to face a discussion or deal with breaking your heart so he's not going to jump at the chance to talk to you or see you ESPECIALLY if you're constabtly bugging him. IT's hard as hell, but go NC immediately. NO CONTACT. NO TEXTS, NO PHONE CALLS, NO FB, NO EMAILS. NOTHING. You'll be surprised ... he's gonna wonder wth happened to you and what you're doing and he'll call or text. Maybe not to explain anything, but he will contact you. And when he does, don't go psycho. Act cool, calm, collected and nonchalant. TRY TRY TRY your hardest and IF you crack (don't crack), make sure the text or whatever is short, non-emotional, no anger and not asking or bringing anything up about the relatinship. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkOnion Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Yes, closure is one of the most important aspects in grieving a loss, it's basic human instinct. Your feelings are natural and many others experience them as well. His silence is intentional. He does not want to give you closure. He wants you to hang on. If you get over him, it will affect his ego. He hasn't blocked you because he wants to make sure it's him you think about and your moving on will take him out of being the center of attention. He is insecure and self absorbed. A good man who really cared about you would sit down and talk to you and give you the respect you deserve. If he has no respect for himself, then he can't give it to you. Although his charm has swept you off your feet, that is not love. None the less, it's very difficult to get over. Believe it or not, your closure is on these forums. It's how you have actively sought out ways to deal with your feelings, by seeking support. It's a sign that you will be just fine, because you are reaching out and dealing with your hurt and emotions. It's hard not to take it personally when the man you loved chooses to ignore you. But rest assured, his future girlfriends will meet the same fate. If he can't express his feelings or offer respect and be in a mature relationship, the problem is his, not yours. If you go to his house and seek closure, which is ok, unfortunately he, he still will not give it to you. He will shut down and block you out. You are asking him to be mature and responsible when you ask for closure and that is something that you can't expect. Let this experience become part of who you are in a positive way. Learn and grow from it and your true love is out there waiting for you somewhere. If you have to, continue to seek support and face your loss head on, it will help you move on. Best wishes 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author undergroundlife13 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 Thanks for the advice do you really think he will contact me? Ive been no contact since this post and i am still hurting but hope one day he will say something. i may have acted crazy but its only because i truly love him. thanks for knocking sense into me... Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Thanks for the advice do you really think he will contact me? Ive been no contact since this post and i am still hurting but hope one day he will say something. i may have acted crazy but its only because i truly love him. thanks for knocking sense into me... Maybe, maybe not. Just move forward and if it happens, deal with it then. But holding out for it doesn't do you a lick of good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author undergroundlife13 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 I know it doesnt, but my love isnt going to magically disapear, i will try my best to move on and the no contact is a start Link to post Share on other sites
Crushedjustcrushed Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Because whatever he said, he does not love you any more. This is the difference between words, and actions. When someone loves us, they show us. Wow. I retyped this on my iphone under the "Breakup advice" note that I've been keeping recently. Not trying to threadjack, but looking back at my own situation, she never "showed" she loved me. Her "actions" were few and far between. Link to post Share on other sites
Crushedjustcrushed Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Try to find him in his house or in his work. Tell him to give you a last chance to talk to him. If you do not convince him the you should overcome the hole thing I've only been here a week, but no. NC is the only way. Link to post Share on other sites
edelveis Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 well by ingoring you he is telling you in an immature way that u are done.its very immature but thats how it goes.he should be more mature and give you all the desrve u need.but please stay NC and dont contact him again.i know its hard and u will go through a lot of pain but do it for you.this guy isnt worthy for you.its early to see it but u will eventually understand it.we are here for you,to help you through ur road to recovery so please dont hesitate to write whatever you feel Link to post Share on other sites
Author undergroundlife13 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 Yes, closure is one of the most important aspects in grieving a loss, it's basic human instinct. Your feelings are natural and many others experience them as well. His silence is intentional. He does not want to give you closure. He wants you to hang on. If you get over him, it will affect his ego. He hasn't blocked you because he wants to make sure it's him you think about and your moving on will take him out of being the center of attention. He is insecure and self absorbed. A good man who really cared about you would sit down and talk to you and give you the respect you deserve. If he has no respect for himself, then he can't give it to you. Although his charm has swept you off your feet, that is not love. None the less, it's very difficult to get over. Believe it or not, your closure is on these forums. It's how you have actively sought out ways to deal with your feelings, by seeking support. It's a sign that you will be just fine, because you are reaching out and dealing with your hurt and emotions. It's hard not to take it personally when the man you loved chooses to ignore you. But rest assured, his future girlfriends will meet the same fate. If he can't express his feelings or offer respect and be in a mature relationship, the problem is his, not yours. If you go to his house and seek closure, which is ok, unfortunately he, he still will not give it to you. He will shut down and block you out. You are asking him to be mature and responsible when you ask for closure and that is something that you can't expect. Let this experience become part of who you are in a positive way. Learn and grow from it and your true love is out there waiting for you somewhere. If you have to, continue to seek support and face your loss head on, it will help you move on. Best wishes i feel you are right he must have enjoyed it because he never told me to stop... Link to post Share on other sites
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