CrimsonEyed Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Long story short, which some of you may already know the "long" story but anyways....... So this MM originally said when we met "no emotions just sex, no emotions no emotions ill only ever love my wife" practically beat it into my head. Well over time, as ignorant as I am I of course developed a little bit of emotions. We both are "happily" married but missing something (both sex and communication). This whole time seeing eachother he also constantly said "don't get use to me I might quit this one day" I ignored his stupid threats....Well, one day he said he's done and can't do this to her anymore lol. I was heart broken, in a pissed manner. What we had was good, convienant, and was about to get even more convienant due to some factors allowing more time for ....well,...play time. So i said w/e but i want to see you one last time and end it, not over email. He agreed. Well we didn't contact eachother for a couple days. When I checked my email there was a smiley face a couple days later. I wrote did you send me that or is the universe mocking me. He said he didnt send me anything. I put back 'oh'. Then he started asking me how I was and making sure I was emotionally doing ok, I said I'm much better now, (as the two days really made me get over him faster...weird) So he started talking to me like normal again! Like nothing he said ever happened. The next day I finally said "why are you doing this again!?" You said you wanted to end this, we set a day to meet, now your talking to me all over again. He said "you're right." He then started saying how HE was having a really hard time with this and that I "knew" how he felt about me...I said you said no emotions, you've never exspressed them either, no I didnt know! He said "oh come on, you know how I feel about you". So thus are talking continued again for a couple days. He asked me if I wanted anything and I said yes! For you to admit you were wrong and you still want this to continue. He said well I can't, this cant continue. I snapped and said fine then stop talking to me and go f yourself! We went a day without talking and I caved and wrotr I'm sorry, i don't want this to end on bad terms (we will soon see a lot of eachothers familys due to a move) well, he said ok and we agreed to meet to end it. He however said nothing sexual can happen and that he won't allow me to touch him, it has to be just talking. But again he started talking to me sexually and that hes going to miss this and that and how he hopes I wear a dress so it would be easier to fool around in public...and how he wont be able to resist me. Like wtf?!?! But then telling me how I won't want him anyways because he's to skinby and needs to lift more weights, and to old, and to this and that. Me always tellibg him how i didn't care and found him attractive etc etc. Why the constant I want you again I want you again talk...to then the I can't do this I can't do this crap! Errrrrrr... If anything good has come from this is that its making it way easier to get over this guy because this is all pissing me off! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Sorry to say this, but it'll end when you two get caught. Especially since you say you all are going to be living closer. How close are we talking? Same street or close by as in a few blocks away? Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 How annoying. I guess he is into the chase? He wanted to make darn sure you weren't getting dependent upon him as he was never leaving his wife, but when you were OK after he dumped you he missed you wanting him. Since you got over him pretty quickly before, I say pull the plug and go NC. He is a pain in the butt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
threelaurels Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 What do you think meeting with him one more time is going to accomplish? I suggest you reread the last thread you posted here. He was horrible to you and said awful things. Why continue to have any kind of contact with him at this point other than what is necessary (i.e. seeing him in public)? I am afraid that meeting with him again is only going to get you roped back into the affair. I don't think he has very much respect for you, and I think he will say whatever you want to hear so that you don't tell his wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 He's not going back and forth on ending it. You are going back hoping to keep the A. Well, he doesn't want it. Why does he continue talking like nothing happened and send sexual vibes online? Because it makes him feel good to know you are still interested - after all the guy is insecure about his aging body. He also needs to make sure you are suave enough about the ending, because pissed off other women tend to think about telling the W. Now, why would he want that when he's recomitting to the M anyway? If you're after eating cake, rest assured that there are plenty of options out there. Plenty of men like him, age, body, charm and married to be okay with having an A. This one you'd better let free o go back to his W. No point in any smiley faces on either side - which by the way of course he had sent to make sure you don't get over him too easily. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrimsonEyed Posted June 5, 2013 Author Share Posted June 5, 2013 He KNOWS I would never ever tell his wife. 100% he knows, not even a concern if thats an issue. He also knows I don't want this to end and ive admitted that im holding on like an idiot. I told him all it would take is for him to tell me "please dont contact me anymore" and i told him when he says those words I swear on everything I will respect him and let this go. But he Can't and Won't say those words....I don't get it. He's playing me like a puppet isn't he?....damn my attraction for a*holes. Link to post Share on other sites
who_am_i Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 (edited) He KNOWS I would never ever tell his wife. 100% he knows, not even a concern if thats an issue. He also knows I don't want this to end and ive admitted that im holding on like an idiot. I told him all it would take is for him to tell me "please dont contact me anymore" and i told him when he says those words I swear on everything I will respect him and let this go. But he Can't and Won't say those words....I don't get it. He's playing me like a puppet isn't he?....damn my attraction for a*holes. What you are experiencing is exactly the same thing that I experienced with my xMM...it went on for months & months. He'd say he couldn't do it anymore...we'd talk about it...he'd tell me how great I was...then he'd leave the conversation open ended. I'd be left wondering for days if I was going to ever hear from him again. Then, sure as sh*t he'd be right back at it...and I let him. When I think about how I let him continue to do that to me...toy with my emotions...it really pisses me off. Each time I let him pick right up again, without explanation, I lost a little more respect for myself. Sure....I convinced myself that everything was fine. After all, he was doing this because he couldn't live without me, right? Wrong! Here I was, wanting more but settling for less and when things finally ended, they didn't end well. I couldn't even recognize the person I had let myself become in order to keep him in my life. Quite honestly, it's embarrassing. Do yourself a favor...as much as you want to keep him in your life do not lose your dignity over it. If someone can walk in and out of your life like it has a revolving door then they are not taking you into consideration and therefore do not deserve your time and attention. Crimson...the reality of your situation is that it will end. He's said he's never leaving so whether you split now or when there is a d-day he is ultimately going to end up with his wife. Trust me when I tell you that it is best to let him go sooner then later. All the best... Edited June 5, 2013 by who_am_i 3 Link to post Share on other sites
spice4life Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Yeah, Crimsoneyed, you DO have choices and you just need to realize that instead of driving yourself crazy with the back and forth stuff. Woman up girl and start taking care of your life whatever that may be. Nothing in life says you have to settle for what doesn't work for you. As a matter of fact, if life could verbalize it, it would say, "quit betraying yourself!" Link to post Share on other sites
Author CrimsonEyed Posted June 6, 2013 Author Share Posted June 6, 2013 We settled the whole what he said and what I said oreviously crap. You know I never even thought he was still hanging around to make sure I'm not going to say anythinf. After all I've said numerous times that ill find someone else its no big deal. He always keot gettinf upset about me hooking up with someone else but then quickly replied with "well its.none of ny business". Then today he wrote me all about how he will miss me doing this and that and how we never got to try this and that. And i responded with, well, I'm just glad I'm not the one who feels guilty...because there are a like billions more of you out there...could be fun. He replied with rubbing salt in the wound huh?? thanks. Why he said that like he's hurting is beyond me. I know...I know he's fkdup and I don't honestly believe he is hanging around out of fear...he has issues...Probably very low self esteem, well obviously. To be honest, I've already been talking to and seen another guy once since this whole downhill thing happened. Part of me wants to meet my old MM and just tell him I've been seeing someone else so hes 1. Rest assured I'm not going to tell his W. And 2. Because ya, I childishly want to rub it in his face. I'm not sure if I'm going to even say it...but...I think sometimes if I do.say hey I'm seeing someone else actually, that maybe he will officially go away and be pissed. Which is Probably the onky way I'm going to be able to end this. We had such a strong sexual thing I feel so so unbelievably angry that I'm not going to have that anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Why on earth would you go looking for someone else and have another affair? Maybe it's time to just stop and reassess what is truly going on within you and your marriage? you say you're "happily" married but missing sex and communication so how can that be happily married? You're having an affair and already thinking ahead if it does end with MM to find another MM. This game you're playing is really unhealthy and it is unfair to your husband and children. Your H deserves to know how you feel and for you to tell him the truth so you two can either fix things, get your marriage going again or divorce. To stay and live a double life right under his nose is going to blow up in your face sooner or later. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 i agree with WWIU and wisernow. and to add.... you seem to be the one with issues here. you're already lining up the next A! what exactly does your H mean to you? on the other hand, i don't think you are capable of showing him respect when you have none for yourself. as far as MM goes i get the feeling he's uncomfortable with all this and has decided to run. whether that's because he wants to work on his marriage, or because you're turning a bit scary - not sure. maybe a bit of both? please, get to IC. work out what's making you risk what you have for a guy that treats you like crap. and why you seek out living in a deceitful, dishonest manner. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 He KNOWS I would never ever tell his wife. 100% he knows, not even a concern if thats an issue. He also knows I don't want this to end and ive admitted that im holding on like an idiot. I told him all it would take is for him to tell me "please dont contact me anymore" and i told him when he says those words I swear on everything I will respect him and let this go. But he Can't and Won't say those words....I don't get it. He's playing me like a puppet isn't he?....damn my attraction for a*holes. Only because you ALLOW him to by handing him all your power. I hope you can get counseling to help you see clearly why you keep causing harm to yourself by the choices you make. Link to post Share on other sites
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