Back after a while... college distance...

[254 Miles]

Well, I don't know what to make of things. I kept on my once a week schedule in calls, but then she started calling me about once a week. I figured I'd let her take the initiative. She isn't that outgoing of a girl when it comes to these things, so I was pleased. Starting last week, things got more frequent. The MTV show "Real World" held tryouts at my college, and as a joke I tried out. I wrote something about it in my AIM away message, and so she asked a mutual friend about it, and later IMed me telling me just how cool it was.

 

A few days later, just as a joke to a friend, I wrote in my away message that I got a call back. Now, this she went nuts over. She called me this past friday, asking about the whole thing, as excited as ever. She called it "the coolest thing in the whole wide world", and told me she told her roommates all about it. I of course made up a story so I didn't seem like a jerk, and anyways, she won't know if I got a callback or not, anyways.

 

Sunday night, we started talking again. She IMed me, and this is our conversation. (note: while we went out, we called each other by our first and middle names as an affectionate thing). A second thing is that during the interviews for "Real World", I pretended to be British.

 

Kate: hey

Me: hey kate veronica

Kate: how was interview number 2?

Me: it was very entertaining to say the least

Kate: haha

Kate: im sure it was

Me: unfortunately, i have to finish work and go to sleep because i have to go to the radio station tomorrow

Kate: ohh

Kate: good times

Kate: well have fun with that

Me: haha good and tired times

Kate: lol

Me: you know i love my sleep

Kate: oh i do

Kate: haha

Me: but, give me a call tomorrow or tuesday or whenever is cool for you, and i'll tell you all about it

Kate: okay

Kate: sounds good

Kate: good luck with your work

Me: yep, it'll be excellent

Me: thanks, i gotta tell my teachers to lay off if they know what's good for them

Kate: haha

Kate: im sure you'll get through to them

Me: well i do pride myself on my ability to communicate

Me: i'll broadcast my plea on the radio or tv

Kate: haha

Me: ok well i've got to get going

Me: i hope your weekend at home was good and i will talk to you later

Kate: ok

Kate: bye

Kate is away at 9:49:52 PM.

Kate returned at 11:15:36 PM.

Me: kate isnt way past your bedtime? lol

Kate: yes but my bedtime has been way extended since i started going to college

Kate: 1 is more like it

Kate: you should be the one in bed mister!

Kate: go to sleep

Me: haha kate you will not last that long at 1 am because you are so busy and involved, you'll need your sleep

Kate: at least i dont have to get up for a radio show in the morning!

Me: haha well at this point, its not worth going to sleep... i took one of my patented naps after the jets game today, and i still have a lot of work to do... this is the first time my parents actually prevented me from doing work

Kate: oh wow

Kate: how was parent's weekend by the way?

Me: it was pretty cool, as much as it pains me to say lol

Kate: aww

Kate: im sure they had a great time too

Me: haha well of course, i'm the star of the family

Kate: yep

Kate: lol

Me: lol but now this star has to finish some work... i'll be online but only because im working on a project with someone

Kate: i saw a nice quote from your dad in the paper

Kate: oh go for it

Me: haha oh god i feel so bad for ben (remember, my brother got jumped)

Kate: so do i!

Kate: that was absolutely horrible

Me: i know, but he's tough

Kate: thats good

Me: anyways, you get some sleep kate veronica, and i'll just pull this here all nighter so i can accomplish my ambitions

Kate: oh jordan

Kate: thats horrible

Me: haha i know, but i'll just have to deal with it

Me: this is what responsibility can do to you.. i knew i shouldnt have become a good student

Me: your good influence is keeping me awake here kate

Kate: oh jordan

Kate: i wish you could influence me right now

Kate: lol

Kate: im being such a slacker

Kate: its terrible

Me: haha kate i know for a fact that you are doing well

Kate: ill let you know whne i get my tests back tomorrow

Kate: lol

Kate: now go work mister

Kate: go go go

Me: for you being a slacker isnt a real slacker, i was the real slacker

Me: you're more of a get a 95 instead of a 100 slacker

Kate: oh i wish

Me: lol i know that you're working hard, you just never admit it

Me: you'd cure cancer and give the credit to someone else

Kate: yeah i wish

Me: i mean your dad was the one who showed me the gold award, you were too modest

Kate: oh man

Kate: hes just too proud

Me: haha no, i dont think anyone could be too proud of you

Kate: well thank you

Me: more than welcome

Me: but now i've got to go

Kate: yes go already

Me: nite kate veronica

Kate: goodnight jordan david

 

So, a long flirty conversation capped off with the middle names. I was starting to *knock on wood* feel encouraged.

 

Then, Monday night, we didn't "talk" per se, but she wrote this to my away message, which was talking about how cold it was outside here in Syracuse (where I go to school), and she wrote this...

 

Kate: it is quite a good thing i am not in syracuse right now with that cold weather...id be holed up in my room already and its only october 4...i hope you're managing the frigid weather okay

 

Wednesday afternoon she IMed me once again. Here's where I *knock on wood* get more encouraged.

 

Kate: hey jordan

Me: hey kate

Kate: whats up?

Me: nothing, im just getting ready to watch the Red Sox game

Me: and yourself?

Kate: im just watching a little full house and doing my spanish

Kate: im not doing a very good job at my spanish but sometimes full house is more important

Me: so we're both watching excellent programming

Kate: haha

Kate: agreed

Me: kate, we all know that stephanie, michelle, dj, uncle jesse, danny, the twins and bob sagat take priority over any academic endeavor

Kate: haha

Kate: i cant think like that jordan

Kate: ive got to maintain my grades here

Me: haha im sure you'll have no problem doing so

Kate: oh we'll see

Me: lol im confident

Me: by the way, if you're up, if you watch espn at midnight, my radio advisor is competing in dream job

Me: which is a tv show to be a sportscenter anchor

Kate: yeah you told me about that

Kate: is it on every night at midnight?

Me: tuesday nights

Me: so that should be pretty exciting

Kate: yeah i guess ill have to find the channel on my tv

Kate: lol

Kate: thats not a channel my roomies and i watch oftne

Me: haha yeah, you mean you havent watched sportscenter every morning?

Me: im surprised

Kate: oh i know

Kate: sometimes i catch it while im at the gym

Kate: but thats about it

Kate: i think i can handle not seeign it

Me: do you still wear your favorite lime green sports bra? that was a classic

Kate: oh ive got more colors now

Electrolite86: haha an rainbow, i like that kate

Kate: ive got lime green (always a favorite), my lucky light blue (from field hockey home games), dark blue, white, purple, and another white

Kate: i tried to get a pink one but they ran out

Kate: lol

Kate: so sad

Kate: haha i remember the lucky light blue, i also was a fan of that one, and i know it helped you become an excellent player... those colors i bet look excellent on you

Me: and its unfortunate you couldnt find one to match your prom dress

Kate: oh it wasnt light pink, i was trying to get a bright pink one

Kate: it was hot jordan let me tell you

Kate: lol

Me: haha i most definitely bet it was very hot

Kate: so tell me, whats the temp like in syracuse?

Kate: claire called me yesterday and told me it was 32 degrees

Kate: thats craziness

Me: last night it got really cold suddenly which was weird because it was a warm day... this morning was cold when i was walking to class, but coming back it got a lot warmer

Me: i swear, the weather here is never consistent

Me: until about november

Me: when you can count on snow all the time

Kate: haha

Kate: oh thats a shame

Kate: i mean its pretty and all

Kate: but way too cold for me

Me: haha i remember your hands being so cold when we went ice skating

Me: i was doing everything i could to keep them warm lol

Kate: oh yes, my extremeties get quite cold

Kate: everyone already knows here that i have poor circulation b/c ive already complained of being cold

Kate: and they cannot believe it b/c its only october

Kate: lol

Kate: im such a wuss

Me: haha well i hope you are able to make it through, especially with al the traveling you must have to do to do all of that teaching and charitable work you're known for

Kate: oh no

angel149: most of its on campus

angel149: im good to go

Me: haha good

Me: i wouldnt want the world to lose such a generous girl due to frostbite

Kate: haha

Kate: ill be okay

Me: haha good, that's very important

Me: well, i'm going to go to a friends room to watch this sox game

Me: with my red sox hat on, of course

angel149: oh wait, quick tell me how your interview went

Me: sure no prob

Me: well they asked a lot of questions about my ambitions and dreams, a lot of hypothetical things about relationships and friends, about my likes and dislikes... and i answered them all in my perfect accent

Me: which i really had working

Me: the lady told me i had a beautiful voice

Me: no joke

Kate: did they find out you were lying to them yet?

Me: they have no idea

Kate: oh my goodness

Me: haha

Me: im telling you kate, it's just that good

Kate: im impressed

Me: it would melt your heart

Kate: haha

Kate: well ive got to go to admissions now so enjoy your baseball game

Me: seeing how you love british accenets

Kate: oh i do

Kate: lol

Kate: ill talk to you later jordan

Kate: bye

Me: haha ok later kate

 

We've talked since, but I want to get your opinions on this stuff first. Any thoughts?

[254 Miles]

Hey guys, I'm going crazy in my dorm over here, any advice?

[head/heels]

let her stem in the good of you and dont call or write or go on IM..... just let her call you next and keep it light and cool and try not to brag or dote on you tooo much....ask about her and let her vent to you with out you interrupting or trying to fix things...do

 

you only talk now over pc?

or on the phone?

 

if on the phone let her call you

if only IM, then let her get to you in a different way (email, through a friend, call to your cell./dorm)

if email, then wait for her to email you

 

let her want you for a while...

 

time will do the trick on her!

 

belive me, dont talk about her and you ever until she brings it up...if she does...then dont stress on it and try to let her leak the info to you....you stay cool and act like you enjoy being single and having fun with "friends" ....dont let if be known if it is just guy friends, just girl friends ,or both...she will let her imagination do the trick....

Be hard to track down, and trust that she will call or write !

She will

 

hope this got to you before you did something rash!

[254 Miles]

I mention only good things that happened between us- never any troubles.. just to subtly remind her of the good times. I also want to see how she responds, and so far it's been positive. But, I definitely do not harp on it all the time- I talk about the fun times I'm having and I listen to her tell me about what she's doing there, also. I'm definitely doing my best to get her enthusiastic about me and all of my great qualities (obviously I don't say those things directly, but I hint to them). I hope that doing that will make her realize what she lost, and when I compliment her, I hope it makes her realize I'm still there.

 

Basically, I'm showing her I'm independent and am excelling, but am still there if she wants me. I want her to think that a special guy is making her feel special.

[254 Miles]

Kate continued to IM me this week, at least once a day. Here is our second conversation on Tuesday, the only one I started. (note: someone stole her tooth brush)

 

Me: i've got to get going, but i wanted to extend my condolences about your toothbrush, and just wanted you to know it was most likely because the culprit thought it could give them the same awesome smile as yours, so its understandable that they'd be that silly

Kate: haha

Kate: thanks jordan

Kate: i think the girl just has it out for me

Kate: she never was a big fan

Kate: oh well

Me: she must be out of her mind

Kate: ill just have to be more aware of my toothbrush in the future

Me: she is either out of her mind, on some kind of drugs, or just jealous

Kate: probably the drug thing

Kate: shes usually drunk

Kate: lol

Me: haha see kate, no sane person could not be a fan

Me: so don't you worry

Me: and, on that note, i've got to get going, so have a good night, kate veronica

Kate: you too

Kate: bye jordan

Me: phew, you left out that middle name of mine lol

Kate: haha

Me: although i know you liked it for some reason lol

Kate: its a good strong name

Me: haha thanks, i suppose i'm a good strong guy

Kate: of course

Me: haha

Me: ok well im going for real now kate veronica

Kate: ok

Kate: bye

 

Okay, not so earth-shattering. Here's Wednesday:

 

Kate: hey

 

My away message: Isn't weird seeing someone on national TV one night, and then working with them the next?

Radio meeting with Jason Horowitz- wish me good luck, and leave some words of confidence for me!

 

Kate: hope you're having fun with whatever it is that you're doing

Kate: good luck i guess (if its something that would warrant a good luck)

Kate: lol

(later on when I get back)

Me: hey kate, i appreciate the well wishes and good luck lol

Kate: anytime

Me: i know i excelled because you wished it to be so

Kate: oh but you didnt know that i had sent any good wishes

Me: i know lol but the wishes found their way to me in spirit

Kate: i guess so

Me: everything okay?

Me: you seem a little down

Kate: oh im fine

Kate: what do you mean i seem down?

Me: lol i don't know, you just seemed sad or something, just wanted to make sure you're happy like you deserve to be

Kate: oh im good to go dont you worry

Me: ok good thats what i like to hear

Me: i have to go work on a paper though, so i must go for the night. i'll talk to you later, you can give me a call or whenever this week or this weekend if you want to hear about my broadcasting and whatever happens with real world and of course i'd like to hear about your life

Me: lol

Kate: okay sounds good

Me: yep

Kate: good luck with your paper

Kate: bye

Me: thanks kate

Me: i'll talk to you later kate veronica

Me: have a good night

Kate: bye

Kate: you too

 

I was happy to see that she was IMing me to wish me luck, even while I was away. Any thoughts on these conversations?

[254 Miles]

I know everyone has their own issues, and that is why they're on the forum, and I will definitely try to help people out... that being said, I'm very confused with this whole situation and I was wondering if anybody had any analysis/words of wisdom? Thanks in advance.

[bluechocolate]

Originally posted by 254 Miles

I know everyone has their own issues, and that is why they're on the forum, and I will definitely try to help people out... that being said, I'm very confused with this whole situation and I was wondering if anybody had any analysis/words of wisdom? Thanks in advance.

 

Boil this all down to a few manageable paragraphs then you'll get some responses.

 

There is just way too much here to even bother trying to read - sorry, but I don't think very many people want to read massive transcripts that you've cut & pasted out of messenger.

[j_nelson]

Doesn't really sound like there is too much going on here...to be honest, from an outsiders point of view it sounds like two friends talking....if you really want to know what's going on or how she feels I would ask her straight up. I am not familiar with your story - I am assuming that you want more than a friendship (otherwise you wouldn't be on here) - but if you want more than a friendship, I wouldn't settle for being her friend in the long run. It's too hard to be friends when one person wants more than another. Ask her what the deal is and then make a decision....

 

Do you talk on the phone at all?

[254 Miles]

We went out for a while, then she broke up with me before college. I was and am convinced she almost convinced herself to do it, that she had to, because we were going away. We had tons of little things we did when we went out, like using middle names and stuff. Those conversations show those happening again. She never talks about herself, especially sexually, and those conversations show that. She's the one IMing me and calling me, and she never did that at home usually. That's why I'm confused/think maybe something is there.

[head/heels]

i think you should continue to be you and dont try to push too many middle names/ good times / bragging that you are doing just great...

 

tell her that you would like to see her on a weekend home and maybe get something to eat at somewhere where you two havent been before so that she isnt thinking you are trying to rekindle anything...

 

.if you find out she is going home (i dont know how) then say, oh i am going home too, or say i am supposed to go home too but i dont feel like driving...and see if she says something back like "oh, you should come home b/c i will be so bored or what not" If she doesnt dont fret....Just say, well i ll give you a call if i do come home...

 

So dont push her even if she is confused...she will have to figure it out for herself and you need to give her some space to see what she is missing and she will be hoping to see you when she goes home....then see how she acts

thats is what will really tell you how she has been doing and what she has been thinking ....

 

And for heavens sakes if she breaks down and says "i miss you so much (at anytime in the coming months) do not say-

I missed you sooooo much toooooo!....NO NO NO......Just say you understand and that time will tell or something nonchalant so that she doesnt know she has you still ....I know she doesnt sound like the type of girl who would do, act or think like that , but most of us dont and that is what has happened to almost all of us....

 

REALLY!

 

good luck