It's hard not being bitter

[Lani]

I have a lot of fears and concerns regarding women.

 

Certainly seems that way.

 

Good luck!

[Pompeii]

In hindsight it's not as fun.

I kind of thought it was at the time, but now I realise it was amateur hour and a big disappointment.

 

We persevere because we think that's all it will be. And then... Well, we all know what happens.

 

MrHand just skips that part and gets straight to the goodness.

 

"amateur hour" sounds a lot better than "arm and hand hour".

 

As for your last statement: maybe.

[Lani]

"amateur hour" sounds a lot better than "arm and hand hour".

 

As for your last statement: maybe.

 

I'm just trying to put a positive spin on things.

 

But I've realized this is yet another hopeless one that just wants us to feel sorry for him, so there is no point.

[Pompeii]

I'm just trying to put a positive spin on things.

 

But I've realized this is yet another hopeless one that just wants us to feel sorry for him, so there is no point.

 

I do not believe you realize the psychological toll being ignored by women takes upon a man. I firmly believe that sex is an important developmental building block in any young person's life, especially for males. I also firmly believe that the sooner one has it (above a certain age of course), the better off they will be. Most of my friends who first had sex at 16 are now reaping the benefits. They don't have to deal with being a virgin or feeling anxious around girls. I truly believe 16-17 is the ideal age to lose one's virginity because it sets them up for college (if they go).

Edited June 6, 2013 by Pompeii

[ltjg45]

Only if said 18 year old is Kelly Osbourne.

 

Are you implying that Kelly Osbourne is attractive?

 

If so, that is one of the few young women I would actually pass up in favor of a decent cougar.

[BustedUpInside]

What you consider your sexual prime isn't the same as when men find you most attractive.

 

The latter is clearly what the OP is talking about.

 

27 isn't an old hag but it certainly isn't 18 either.

 

This is the problem right here. You assume that because you think 18 is a woman's most attractive age that it is a fact that all men believe is and it must be true.

 

I actually know several men that think that a woman doesn't reach her full potential for "hotness" or "beauty" until she is in her 30's. That is, of course, still an opinion, but it does show that there are people that don't believe that women peak in their late teens.

 

I think that the OP should stop worrying about all the women that he believes that he missed out on and start working on just finding the right one.

[mahon451]

This is the problem right here. You assume that because you think 18 is a woman's most attractive age that it is a fact that all men believe is and it must be true.

 

I actually know several men that think that a woman doesn't reach her full potential for "hotness" or "beauty" until she is in her 30's. That is, of course, still an opinion, but it does show that there are people that don't believe that women peak in their late teens.

 

I think that the OP should stop worrying about all the women that he believes that he missed out on and start working on just finding the right one.

 

The hottest women I know are in their 30s. The best sex I've had has been with women in their 30s. The sanest and most well-balanced relationships I've been in have been with, you guessed it, women in their 30s. I am in my 30s, and I am light years ahead of where I was in my 20s, emotionally, physically, and sexually. So don't lose hope- make yourself more interesting, hit the gym, learn how to be a good human being (rather than a "nice guy"), lose the bitterness, and I promise you will have ladies fighting over you.

[BustedUpInside]

The hottest women I know are in their 30s. The best sex I've had has been with women in their 30s. The sanest and most well-balanced relationships I've been in have been with, you guessed it, women in their 30s. I am in my 30s, and I am light years ahead of where I was in my 20s, emotionally, physically, and sexually. So don't lose hope- make yourself more interesting, hit the gym, learn how to be a good human being (rather than a "nice guy"), lose the bitterness, and I promise you will have ladies fighting over you.

 

 

I wish there was a love button instead of like because I would have hit it about 30 times!

[Maleficent]

The hottest women I know are in their 30s. The best sex I've had has been with women in their 30s. The sanest and most well-balanced relationships I've been in have been with, you guessed it, women in their 30s. I am in my 30s, and I am light years ahead of where I was in my 20s, emotionally, physically, and sexually. So don't lose hope- make yourself more interesting, hit the gym, learn how to be a good human being (rather than a "nice guy"), lose the bitterness, and I promise you will have ladies fighting over you.

 

Hells yeah!!

 

30s are awesome!

[Drseussgrrl]

I'll never understand why younger folks think that 30-something is the start of a decline.

 

At 33 I'm making more money than I ever have, I have the closest-knit group of friends, I'm in my best shape, and I'm having red-hot sex with probably one of the hottest men I've ever dated (he's 36).

 

Life is grand. You couldn't PAY me to be 25 like, EVER again!

[ltjg45]

Im implying the only way even a well preserved 40 year old would look better than an 18 year old would be if the 18 year old were unattractive.

 

Very, very rare exceptions aside.

 

Then I apologize for clearing missing the point of your previous post.

 

Never heard of Kelly Osbourne either until I looked her up after I read it.

[BustedUpInside]

I actually know several men that think that a woman isn't attractive unless she's over 200 pounds. They're not in the majority.

 

What we are saying is that YOU are in the minority. You are young and so you think only other young people are attractive.

 

But, the world isn't made up of only people aged 18-22, and so the majority are not going to believe that a woman is only "hot" or "as hot as she'll ever be" for those short number of years.

 

We are not talking about someone who starts working out. I am talking about people growing into their looks and having the confident attitude to go with it so the overall picture is much sexier than when they were still leaving the last vestiges of puberty and adolescent insecurities behind.

 

Preferences are always subjective, but if you want to talk about how the majority of people feel, we are trying to tell you that most men and most women think that people in their 30's are the most attractive.

[Drseussgrrl]

It objectively is. Someone can look better at 33 than they did at 25 because they started working out, they would've looked better at 25 than they do now had they been working out back then.

 

You should ask your ovaries about that whole 30s not being the start of a decline.

 

For someone who isn't even sure about children, my ovaries are not really bothered in the slightest.

 

Besides, women have children in their 30's more commonly than ever. I'd say MOST of my friends are starting families in their 30's.

 

Not really sure why you are trying to negate my argument though. I'm happy. Happier than I ever was in my 20's. For a variety of reasons.

 

And THAT is attractive.

[pteromom]

I can relate to this guy, I hate it, despise, loathe it when people say you have plenty of time, that it is never too late, seriously what is the god damn logic as to why it is never too late for love, dating and relationships? yeah just because people do it in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond, those people have been doing it since the teenage years or 20's, plus, I don't want to become like one of these guys,

 

So, for f's sake, take control of your life and don't let it happen. Even your user name... you are more than the sum of the cards you are dealt. Sure, everyone has challenges, and maybe you have more challenges than average... I dunno.

 

But what I do know is it is your choice to sit around thinking about the cards you are dealt and to allow yourself to get more and more bitter toward women because they don't want to date you and toward society because it doesn't work in your favor, or - you can get out of your chair, and do SOMETHING positive for your life that will propel you upward, in whatever way you think is right for you.

 

Being bitter does not serve you. It just keeps you stuck in the same way of thinking, and it keeps your focus on the external - which you have ZERO control of - rather than the internal - which you have much control of.

[Pompeii]

I don't know why there's all this backslapping going on in this thread. It's been proven time and time again that women are at their most physically attractive in their early to mid 20s. This is when they command the most attention from men, are able to get men to invest in them the earliest... The most pursued demographic of any type of person is the 19-26 year old white female. They have the most sexual power in western society.

 

Granted, that doesn't mean women can't be attractive when they are older. Most of it will come down to genetics. If you are attractive at 22, if you eat right and do all the right things, chances are you will still be attractive at 32, with slight aging. Anything beyond the mid 30s is a crapshoot destined to fail, as both men and women start hitting the fan (physically) around that age.

 

All in all, I just see this as another effort for women to convince each other that they've "still got it" and try and get males to join in on the chorus. Older women are much more jaded and more unpleasant to be around than younger ones. Everybody gets more jaded as they age. The rare woman is the one that is able to keep an wide-eyed perspective on the world and not to get dragged down by her peers in shallow thinking.

Edited June 6, 2013 by Pompeii

[Pompeii]

I can relate to this guy, I hate it, despise, loathe it when people say you have plenty of time, that it is never too late, seriously what is the god damn logic as to why it is never too late for love, dating and relationships? yeah just because people do it in their 30's, 40's, 50's and beyond, those people have been doing it since the teenage years or 20's, plus, I don't want to become like one of these guys, in which they date women more than 15 years younger than them or close to 20 years younger:Miami Heat Coach Erik Spoelstra shows off girlfriend - People - MiamiHerald.com

 

don't want to be like hugh hefner or Michael douglas

 

Are you kidding me? Spoelstra looks like he's in his early 30s at the latest. And he's rich.

[pteromom]

All in all, I just see this as another effort for women to convince each other that they've "still got it" and try and get males to join in on the chorus. Older women are much more jaded and more unpleasant to be around than younger ones. Everybody gets more jaded as they age.

 

I am definitely not as physically attractive as I was in my 20s. No argument there.

 

But jaded? Nahhhhhh... I am happy and easy-going and smiling, with a free spirit and I just want everyone to be happy.

 

But yeah... I still got it. "It" does not rely on 20-something year old guys being attracted to me. Actually, "it" doesn't rely on the opinions of other people at all.

[Drseussgrrl]

I don't know why there's all this backslapping going on in this thread. It's been proven time and time again that women are at their most physically attractive in their early to mid 20s. This is when they command the most attention from men, are able to get men to invest in them the earliest... The most pursued demographic of any type of person is the 19-26 year old white female. They have the most sexual power in western society.

 

Granted, that doesn't mean women can't be attractive when they are older. Most of it will come down to genetics. If you are attractive at 22, if you eat right and do all the right things, chances are you will still be attractive at 32, with slight aging. Anything beyond the mid 30s is a crapshoot destined to fail, as both men and women start hitting the fan (physically) around that age.

 

All in all, I just see this as another effort for women to convince each other that they've "still got it" and try and get males to join in on the chorus. Older women are much more jaded and more unpleasant to be around than younger ones. Everybody gets more jaded as they age. The rare woman is the one that is able to keep an wide-eyed perspective on the world and not to get dragged down by her peers in shallow thinking.

 

Ok well you're entitled to your opinion. I'm not in "denial" about my age, and the difference between 23-year-old me and 33-year-old me, is that I couldn't give a rat's patoot about what you or other men think about my "hotness" factor in regards to my age. Back then I would have been racked by insecurities about being ohmygod RANKED by a man!

 

I'm dating a very attractive man at the moment, and when we first started talking he was also dating/messing around with a 24-year-old. Guess what? Game over. She's history. And he's nuts about ME. Does that mean I still got it? Ha, guess it does. But I don't think I ever really worried about losing it in the first place.

[BustedUpInside]

I don't know why there's all this backslapping going on in this thread. It's been proven time and time again that women are at their most physically attractive in their early to mid 20s. This is when they command the most attention from men, are able to get men to invest in them the earliest... The most pursued demographic of any type of person is the 19-26 year old white female. They have the most sexual power in western society.

 

Granted, that doesn't mean women can't be attractive when they are older. Most of it will come down to genetics. If you are attractive at 22, if you eat right and do all the right things, chances are you will still be attractive at 32, with slight aging. Anything beyond the mid 30s is a crapshoot destined to fail, as both men and women start hitting the fan (physically) around that age.

 

All in all, I just see this as another effort for women to convince each other that they've "still got it" and try and get males to join in on the chorus. Older women are much more jaded and more unpleasant to be around than younger ones. Everybody gets more jaded as they age. The rare woman is the one that is able to keep an wide-eyed perspective on the world and not to get dragged down by her peers in shallow thinking.

 

I think what you don't get is that the only one who feels the need to convince anyone is YOU. We are all telling you what the truth is and you don't want to accept it. That's find, but you can't argue that because you think the wrong thing, that we are just deluding ourselves.

 

Also, I would be very interested to see where you got your information on how it has been "proven time and time again" that men prefer women 19-26 exclusively to other women. If you can cite statistics from studies that took place after 1975, I would be very very surprised.

 

I think, as young as you are, you have a very ancient and outdated way of thinking.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

Idk how young you're trying to go but at 21 I lost my virginity to a 27 year old...

[Pompeii]

I think what you don't get is that the only one who feels the need to convince anyone is YOU. We are all telling you what the truth is and you don't want to accept it. That's find, but you can't argue that because you think the wrong thing, that we are just deluding ourselves.

 

Also, I would be very interested to see where you got your information on how it has been "proven time and time again" that men prefer women 19-26 exclusively to other women. If you can cite statistics from studies that took place after 1975, I would be very very surprised.

 

I think, as young as you are, you have a very ancient and outdated way of thinking.

 

I don't believe any of you because it's not the truth.

 

I also don't know what you mean by "ancient and outdated" thinking.

[BustedUpInside]

I don't believe any of you because it's not the truth.

 

I also don't know what you mean by "ancient and outdated" thinking.

 

Hopefully as you get older, your mind will become more open to more evolved way of thinking.

 

You will come to the realization that what you are attracted to in your late teens/early 20's is not what is attractive when you are in your 30's or 40's or 50's.

 

Also, you will be less likely to state things as so black-and-white. What you think is not what the world thinks. What I think is not true for you, but what you think is not true either. It is just what you think.

 

As for the OP, he will have much better luck in life and love if he can let go of the idea that being with an "attractive" woman will solve all his problems. He needs to work on being happy first and then I think he will be surprised by how many people are attracted to his confident and likeable new attitude.

[strongnrelaxed]

As we age, perspectives change. Others have said as much. You will date and have sex with as many younger women as your looks and station in life warrant, but I can tell you that attitude goes a long way.

 

When you are 40 years old, a 27 year old woman will look stunning to you.

 

Despite what some have said here, it is politically correct to say that older women are sexy, etc. But you are right - younger women have smoother, tighter bodies, they lubricate in ways that older women cannot, and there are a hundred other little ways in which sex is better with a younger woman.

 

That being said, I think that if you had enough of that experience you would ultimately find it empty.

 

The worry you should have more than any other is how American women are changing. Data now shows that women cheat as much as men, 1 in 4 rapes is a false allegation, and domestic violence is more likely to be initiated by a woman than a man.

 

So hold onto your hat as you enter the next phase of your life. Simple sex acts will seem silly compared to what you are in store for as you meet older women.

[El Brujo]

It has to be, or else people wouldn't be doing it.

 

I think most people who do the 17-yo sex thing, only do it out of peer pressure so their stud friends won't laugh at them.

[DannyMason]

Look on the bright side...

At least you miss the whole awkward 17 year old sex phase.

It's not as fun as you think it is.

 

But it's important for your development as a person.

 

MrHand just skips that part and gets straight to the goodness.

 

Why wouldn't he have to go through the same awkward learning process everyone else did? How does he instantly become as proficient as everyone else when they've had a decade more experience?