Your Approach to The Following?!

[AZA]

I have some areas I want to develop in myself:

 

-Confidence.

-Be more charismatic, based off the confidence (I was like this before, I just need to find myself again)

-Conversation skills

-Consistency in studying and being disciplined in general to follow through on commitments

-Think healthier, positive, for myself, see the positives in things/situations

-Be able to go to bed at a decent time (I stay up at night because it's peaceful and I'm sad when I go to bed + scared of dreams haunting me. I hate 'turning off'.)

-Meeting new people

 

I'm wondering if anyone would like to share their thoughts on how they would approach any of these topics. It would really help me out, getting some different perspectives.

Edited June 6, 2013 by AZA

[will1988]

My responses are in Bold

 

I have some areas I want to develop in myself:

 

-Confidence. Confidence as a relatively easy idea to understand, but sometimes hard to grasp. The first step to becoming confident is to try overcome insecurities, or at least learn to grow thick skin and realize rejection is not the end of the world. You then need to learn to love yourself as who you are. You need to be comfortable with who you are. Once you have those aspects down, you are a much more inwardly confident person, which will translate in to you becoming a more outwardly confident person.

-Be more charismatic, based off the confidence (I was like this before, I just need to find myself again) Well as you stated, being charismatic and confidence go hand and hand. You need to be articulate, and you need to be outgoing. You can't hide in the shadows or behind a computer screen all day. You need to get out there and experience life. To be charismatic you need to learn to be able to capture the attention of an audiance. You need to be able to talk to just about anyone you can meat. You need to learn how to be a good conversationalist. You need to have a carefree attitude... meaning, you couldn't care less about what people think of you and you are totaly fine with that. You need to be outgoing. All of this will come hand in hand when you become confident.

-Conversation skills Similar to same response given for Confidence and Charisma. You need to learn how to talk to people and talk to them about anything and relate to them on a certain level. For example, if you go to bars... go up to a random attractive girl sitting at the bar, complement her on her dress and then ask her about her drink and tell her that the type of drink you are inbibing can tell a lot about the person. Don't be too complamentory, but don't insult her either. Learn to be interesting. Learn to tell interesting stories. Also learn to be able to Bull Schidt out your ass if need be.

-Consistency in studying and being disciplined in general to follow through on commitments. I am a man of my word. So if I've comitted to something I will follow through unless in extreme circumstances. learn that you word is your bond and that if you break your word your name will eventually become mud. At the same time, don't commit to anything you know you are not willing to commit to. Now on the studying bit, I had too much fun my first years of college... which has set my back several years. However, in my more mature / adult age, I find that setting aside one day a week or chipping away at the work little by little every day of the week is the best way to go... either or.

-Think healthier, positive, for myself, see the positives in things/situations I'm a 300 lb heavy smoker.... so being physically healthy is not my strong suit. However, thinking healthy for me is easy. I don't know what to offer you though to re-wire your brain... so if you want to change your mind, see a shrink.

-Be able to go to bed at a decent time (I stay up at night because it's peaceful and I'm sad when I go to bed + scared of dreams haunting me. I hate 'turning off'.) Take Zquel or some other sleeping pills and allow yourself 8 hours of sleep a night. I don't I get about 5 hours of sleep any given week day night, because I have class real late and have to be at work early the next morning. So for me, smoking, coffee, 5 hour energy shots, and red bull keep me going. lol

-Meeting new people

join clubs... go to the park... talk to people at the bars

I'm wondering if anyone would like to share their thoughts on how they would approach any of these topics. It would really help me out, getting some different perspectives.

[Roadkill007]

lol Will..... anyone you can MEAT

My response also bolded in same format.

 

I have some areas I want to develop in myself:

 

-Confidence.

there's this saying of being comfortable in one's own skin. Look at yourself standing in the mirror. Are you slouchy? hands in a protective posture? When you notice such posture, try to correct it immediately. Sometimes you can get confidence from faking it, and getting good posture, even if you don't feel too confident, definitely helps "fake" it, maybe even enough for you to forget the feeling of awkwardness, thus leading to real confidence. well, at least till you realize it consciously and you start feeling awkward about it again

-Be more charismatic, based off the confidence (I was like this before, I just need to find myself again)

like will said, comes with confidence. Confidence basically exudes through you and results in charisma of sorts. Besides that.... the normal stuff. BO, poor social skills, etc. all things you can pick out and fix.

-Conversation skills

Practice makes perfect, or almost at least. When you see an opportunity to "practice" conversing, take it. Remember, conversation is always a "team" game, and thus what's acceptable will differ based on who you're "playing" with

-Consistency in studying and being disciplined in general to follow through on commitments

Again will hit it pretty much on the spot... Do little chunks at a time, and try to "reward" yourself for it. The worst thing you can do is think about the whole picture of what you need to do. Don't think, just list out what you need to do, and do, do something else, and come back and do again.

-Think healthier, positive, for myself, see the positives in things/situations

I think this also comes together with the whole confidence thing. Whatever you do in life is an experience. The experience can feel good or bad, but the experience is almost always something you can learn from for the next time. If you're positive about yourself, I'm sure you'll see the positive in seemingly crappy situations. The key is not to take yourself TOO seriously.... you need to be able to laugh at yourself, without disparaging yourself subconsciously.

-Be able to go to bed at a decent time (I stay up at night because it's peaceful and I'm sad when I go to bed + scared of dreams haunting me. I hate 'turning off'.)

Exhaust yourself during the day, physically and mentally. Like after you come back home in a typical school day, maybe exercise for half an hour constantly, shower, eat, cycle through your studies, and then trying to sleep. I think a lot of times when you have nightmares and such or stressful sleep, it's because you have to much on your mind just before nodding off. If you exhaust yourself thoroughly, you should turn off as soon as you hit the bed, and hopefully won't experience stress related bad dreams.

-Meeting new people

Talk to people in your classes, talk to people in line at the school bookstore, talk to people waiting outside the advising area, etc etc. When you see an opportunity, take it.

 

I'm wondering if anyone would like to share their thoughts on how they would approach any of these topics. It would really help me out, getting some different perspectives.