Age Difference

[jf2good]

What is the biggest age difference you know in a relationship? For that relationship you know of is age difference a big obstacle?

 

Why do some women (more than men) prefer a partner that could be as old as their father in some cases? At what age difference do you thing is scandalous?

 

For yourself how much older of a person could you ever date? Why, what if they were your dream guy or girl except for age?

 

Why do you thing older / younger relationships beyond x number of years are wrong? Do you think it is okay to date someone older or younger if the relationship is not serious? What if it does become so, then what?

[Suave]

Oldest person I've ever been with was a 39 year old Spanish woman who looked like she was in her mid-20s (I'm 22.)

 

Never dated anyone over 25.

[runningfar]

What is the biggest age difference you know in a relationship? For that relationship you know of is age difference a big obstacle?

 

Why do some women (more than men) prefer a partner that could be as old as their father in some cases? At what age difference do you thing is scandalous?

 

For yourself how much older of a person could you ever date? Why, what if they were your dream guy or girl except for age?

 

Why do you thing older / younger relationships beyond x number of years are wrong? Do you think it is okay to date someone older or younger if the relationship is not serious? What if it does become so, then what?

 

 

 

I know many age difference couples from 16-24 years.

It's something they had to work through but not an issue now.

 

It isn't about preferring older, in the cases I know, it's about not caring and so when the right person who is older came...

[Roadkill007]

Physically, half your age plus 7 at most. Mentally.... should be similar in maturity.

[King_Crimson]

Well, it wouldn't really matter to me. Currently I'm dating someone who is 19 almost 20 (I'm 23).

 

I don't think I'd have much in common with someone who was 40 though...

[Arabella]

I dated someone who was 7 years younger ( I was 27, he was 20 when we got together). BIG mistake. He was nowhere near ready for a mature relationship.

 

Current boyfriend is 4 years younger (I'm 29 now, he is 25) and I don't ever even remember the age difference. He's on par with me on everything... which makes age completely irrelevant.

[Demosa]

I'm in a relationship with a man who is 16 years older than me. I'm 24 and he just turned 40. We have been together for almost 6 years.

 

The age has been an obstacle, no doubt. It still can be difficult at times. But I think all relationships have obstacles. Just some more than others. It has been particular difficult integrating each other in our respective friend groups. But it gets better with time. There has never been a problem with our families.

 

It hasn't been a case of me preferring a man who is that much older, but I must admit that I have always been very mature of my age, and I do look for some qualities in a man that I can not easily find in someone who is my own age. This was in particular a problem when I was a bit younger. But that being said I did not look for a relationship - we met online in a game - and I just fell in love with him.

 

I'm probably a bit biased, but I don't think there is any rule on how big an age difference there can be between two people, as long as they are both two consenting adults. Who are we to judge other peoples relationship.

[Harradin]

I'm 20, I wouldn't date a girl younger then 18 or older then 23. I find big age gaps to be disturbing personally. My parents are 6 years apart though so not too much!

[vanhalenfan]

Personally, I prefer an older man. Always have. Before I was married (I am going through a divorce right now - I am 30 years old, married at 21), I dated a mix of older, younger, and slightly older. I always preferred much older than myself. The largest age difference was 23 years [older]. I was 19, the man was 42. The relationship itself lasted about 1 year. I broke up with him, but not for age-related purposes. My soon-to-be-ex-husband is about to turn 47 - a 17-year age difference (again, divorce not related to age difference issues at all). I am quite certain the next man I enter a relationship with will be somewhere within that realm of an age gap.

 

I can't really explain the reasoning behind my choices. It's purely a matter of preference. Everyone has their preferences, and there is no changing that. I'm just not particularly attracted to younger men or men around my age. It could be a matter of interests. Nothing particularly negative happened with my experiences with a younger person - other than lack of attraction, lack of experience, etc. What I do find appealing in older men is life experience in general. I like a man with a lot of life experiences, interesting pasts. That's part of the attraction. The larger age gap allows for more of that.

 

To me, I don't judge others' choices when it comes to an age difference. Who am I to judge? As long as they are consenting adults, who cares? It matters not if someone approves of it or not. I'm not sure I even have a cap on age difference. Especially for someone else. For myself, I used to say no more than 25 years older. Really, it's not a huge factor and I don't limit myself. What matters is the bigger picture....Compatibility, attraction, chemistry, etc. Now that I am 30, the age gap matters even less so. I'm in a life stage where I am done with school, have 2 kids already, pending divorce...I've done all the "young" things already and I am set more on where I am going and what I want out of life.

 

So, that's my take on it, in a nutshell. It's 3am, so I am quite tired to elaborate more right now

[MissBee]

What is the biggest age difference you know in a relationship? For that relationship you know of is age difference a big obstacle?

 

A friend of mine was in an affair, which lasted 4 years or so, with a married man 20 years her senior.Well there were lots of obstacles, mostly because he was married, but I also think she chose a married man her dad's age for all kinds of unresolved reasons. Things didn't work, now she's engaged to a guy who is a year younger than her, and it's obviously working out a lot better.

 

Why do some women (more than men) prefer a partner that could be as old as their father in some cases? At what age difference do you thing is scandalous?

 

People have all kinds of reasons. Some women have daddy complexes and subconsciously gravitate to much older men who could be their dads because of this. As well as how many societies are still structured, men often still make more and lots of women are taught to look for a man who is stable and who can take care of them and thus they are attracted to men who can provide, which often times will be men who are older than they are. When I was 17/18 I was hardly interested in guys my age. Most men I dated were older guys who seemed to have more experience, careers, and independence which was more attractive to me than the guys my age.

 

For yourself how much older of a person could you ever date? Why, what if they were your dream guy or girl except for age?

 

Well if they were my "dream" man then obviously, I'd overlook age. I'm in my twenties, I highly, highly doubt a 70 year old man will be my dream man. When I was younger I really was into men 10-15 years my senior sometimes. Now, I'm like 8 years is a good upper limit. I'm not super strict about it, but as I think more about settling down, marriage and a family, it is more appealing for me to be with a man I can grow with, where we're at relatively similar stages in life, so my ideal is my age and up to 5 years older and if he has to be younger, 1 or 2 years, 3 at most. But it also depends on how old I am when I settle down. All in all, I am not super focused on age, but maturity and are we on the same wave length and can we grow together? It just stands to reason that most likely the age gap will not be very big.

 

 

Why do you thing older / younger relationships beyond x number of years are wrong? Do you think it is okay to date someone older or younger if the relationship is not serious? What if it does become so, then what?

 

I don't think they are "wrong", as in immoral. I think people may do it for the wrong reasons sometimes, like some older guys who knowingly use money and status to lure barely out of their teen women who may not be financially stable and less knowledgeable about life. I think some men (and women) can get into such relationships where there is a power imbalance and unfair advantage to the older person, and I have known men who only date young, struggling women who could be their daughters, because older women with more experience and less need for their money won't deal with their nonsense.

 

I think people can date whoever they want, so long as they are legal. But for me, if I am just being casual, I could mess with a younger or older guy, but if I'm actually looking to be in an exclusive, committed relationship, then I will pay more attention to the whole package and our compatibility and growth potential, which will include age.

 

Responses in bold.

Edited June 24, 2013 by MissBee

[Ripnet]

I'm in a relationship with a man who is 16 years older than me. I'm 24 and he just turned 40. We have been together for almost 6 years.

 

The age has been an obstacle, no doubt. It still can be difficult at times. But I think all relationships have obstacles. Just some more than others. It has been particular difficult integrating each other in our respective friend groups. But it gets better with time. There has never been a problem with our families.

 

It hasn't been a case of me preferring a man who is that much older, but I must admit that I have always been very mature of my age, and I do look for some qualities in a man that I can not easily find in someone who is my own age. This was in particular a problem when I was a bit younger. But that being said I did not look for a relationship - we met online in a game - and I just fell in love with him.

 

I'm probably a bit biased, but I don't think there is any rule on how big an age difference there can be between two people, as long as they are both two consenting adults. Who are we to judge other peoples relationship.

 

My sister is married to a guy 14 years older than her. They have no problems with the age difference. Her hubby is an extremely nice guy.

[Silly_Girl]

I have a friend with daddy issues who goes minimum of 15 yrs+.

 

I don't have any friends in long-term Rs with more than 10 difference. I used to be happy with 10, now prefer up to 5 and fiancé and I were both born the same year. Having similar childhood memories/cultural references is great fun.

[insomniax]

I have dated a bit younger 12 years was the biggest, i am currently hanging with someone pnly a few years younger its deff easier in the aspect that we can relate better.

[Ripnet]

hate how women have to be like that

She didn't have to do anything. She could have come back home. He didn't use money to lure him either. In fact she was the one invited him into group activities. She was 24 and he was 38.

 

Many guys asked my sister to marry them but she refused. My brother in law in the kind person I know. He never complains to me about my sister. Never talk bad about people. Never gets mad. Even my aunt didn't like him at first but once she got to spend a few days with him and my sister she changed her mind.

[Steph321]

I'm about to move in with my boyfriend of a year, who is 12 years older than me. (I'm 30, he's 42) No, I don't have daddy issues. No, I didn't "seek out" an older man. It just happened.

 

Like someone else here said, I am mature for my age and I think we are pretty compatible in that sense. I learn so much from this man, admire him, and love him. Not to mention he is sexy as hell. We have a ton in common (music, sports, etc) and share the same views. It works. Honestly, most of the time I forget about his age.