warning signs update

[bobwhite007]

Well I've beat my brains out trying to figure this all out. Var in the trunk not good, put it under the seat.1st listen will tell the story, mine was pretty garbled but I heard enough.phone records show 70+ calls to a plumbing contractor in Ga.All business related. Lol. Couldnt sleep and she started leaving phone out so I could easily access it.plumber been deleted, he's married anyway and would never cheat, lol.looked at app store on her phone, she didn't think she would have to delete hangout app.she had a different last name and two frequent contacts, one not being the plumber. 1insurance man, one man she used to work for.iam afraid I been a fool for along time how disgusting. Where do I go from here?

[BetrayedH]

The VAR might work better being taped under the steering column.

 

I had to lookup Hangout apps. Looks like Google's way to chat. Interesting that she used a different name. I have a hard time imagining what a legit reason for that would be. Any way you can see her conversations?

[bobwhite007]

The VAR might work better being taped under the steering column.

 

I had to lookup Hangout apps. Looks like Google's way to chat. Interesting that she used a different name. I have a hard time imagining what a legit reason for that would be. Any way you can see her conversations?

No way to see any conversations

[underwater2010]

If you cannot find any further evidence, it is time to call a spade a spade. Tell her what you have found and that it makes you extremely uncomfortable. If that is not enough to stop her, then you need to decide what the heck you want to do.

[Ninja'sHusband]

".plumber been deleted, he's married anyway and would never cheat"

 

Yeah...and my ex told me at one point about her OM. "He's older and married with two kids so don't worry."

 

Later she wasn't sure if she got pregnant from him or me.

[dichotomy]

I am confused a bit. So VAR in car showed the many calls to the plumber are innocent??? So is the plumber guy off the radar now???

 

But there is a chat app on her phone, using a different name, and with both the plumber and some insurance guy on there. So there is another red flag - but no evidence. This app does not have history (or can be turned on to leave history)

 

So you really don't have hard evidence yet? but your wife knows you are suspicious and on alert?

 

Confused.

[BetrayedH]

I am confused a bit. So VAR in car showed the many calls to the plumber are innocent??? So is the plumber guy off the radar now???

 

But there is a chat app on her phone, using a different name, and with both the plumber and some insurance guy on there. So there is another red flag - but no evidence. This app does not have history (or can be turned on to leave history)

 

So you really don't have hard evidence yet? but your wife knows you are suspicious and on alert?

 

Confused.

 

I agree about being confused and I do my best to pay close attention.

 

Bob, do me a favor and give us a clear and concise list of what has made you suspicious.

[weedsandposies]

If you log into her google account from a regular computer you might be able to access her chat history. Also, I wouldn't confront until I had undeniable evidence.

[bobwhite007]

I am confused a bit. So VAR in car showed the many calls to the plumber are innocent??? So is the plumber guy off the radar now???

 

But there is a chat app on her phone, using a different name, and with both the plumber and some insurance guy on there. So there is another red flag - but no evidence. This app does not have history (or can be turned on to leave history)

 

So you really don't have hard evidence yet? but your wife knows you are suspicious and on alert?

 

Confused.

phone records showed contact with plumber. Var held phone conversation, to the plumber, I couldnt understand much. Hangouts app replaces talk when updated.hers was updated and hidden.she has no clue how to even use it.sync of email accounts placed those contacts in hangouts.I had the go to playstore and install hangouts on my phone.all the warning signs are there. My gut feeling is what can't be explained by her.she denys every thing. I really don't think she been with all three. I still have the feelin

[weedsandposies]

She's denying everything because you have no proof.

 

Doesn't take much to use talk/hangouts, when someone sends a message it shows in the notificatins bar like a text would. Your gut feeling is not good enough unless you can back it up... not saying she isn't cheating just saying you need to gather more info. Otherwise it just looks like your badgering her.

 

What warning signs are you referring to?

[So happy together]

My opinion is that if you must put a VAR in the car, you have problems regardless of whether she is cheating.

[bobwhite007]

Best I can tell it all started two years ago, fast forward to now. Still married. We are doing good I think. She has tried really hard to make me happy. I still follow her on google and still can't say I trust her. We have lunch together every day. I haven't brought the past up in a long time. I've been trying to move on. Now I think it's not fair to her guilty or not. I think she deletes calls and texts from some people. One I mentioned early on has never texted or called her again.or they get deleted. They work together I know they communicate. She just trying to keep me from being jealous, the same reason she deleted calls and texts from the plumber. I set deadline for this month to share with her my progression and let her decide what she wants with me still feeling this way. She has told a couple of lies and got a story confused the other day. Said she been 1place all day then a few minutes later says I went by " today and then to the *^%#. Feel free to advise please.

[Clay]

You know there is really only so much you can do. There are some apps that will key log on a phone. It really depends on the phone. Like a previous poster said a var under the steering column might be better. I know watching and waiting drove me crazy. It really upset me that I even had to look at that stuff. If you feel she is shady it might just be time to move on and not look back.

 

Clay

[Noirek]

You know there is really only so much you can do. There are some apps that will key log on a phone. It really depends on the phone. Like a previous poster said a var under the steering column might be better. I know watching and waiting drove me crazy. It really upset me that I even had to look at that stuff. If you feel she is shady it might just be time to move on and not look back.

 

Clay

 

Just going back to the OPs first post I don't think he is going to follow this advice. Not after all this time.

[Clay]

Just going back to the OPs first post I don't think he is going to follow this advice. Not after all this time.

 

Sadly you might be right. So many people just continue to mess up there lives.

 

I am just thankful everyday I do not have to deal with that anymore.

 

Clay

[Noirek]

Sadly you might be right. So many people just continue to mess up there lives.

 

I am just thankful everyday I do not have to deal with that anymore.

 

Clay

 

And so many people relive and deal with the past everyday. Like watching the news endlessly and how it can give symptoms of ptsd I imagine the constant stories that remind oneself of what happened do much the same.

[Clay]

And so many people relive and deal with the past everyday. Like watching the news endlessly and how it can give symptoms of ptsd I imagine the constant stories that remind oneself of what happened do much the same.

 

I can tell you I know this very well. I was cheated on by three different women and my xW did it to me over a time period of ten years. I still have nightmares over it. I have remarried since thing and thankfully my wife now is very considerate and thoughtful about this. I hope some day it does not get in the way of our marriage but I feel horrible for anyone that has been cheated on. It really just kills a part of you.

 

OP I really do hope you start to see what we are saying and start taking care of yourself. You can't force someone to love you or change them. They have to do those things when they are ready and waiting around for them is just

wrong.

 

 

Clay

[m.snow]

i mean seriously the plumber? whats next the cable guy? the gardener. that some thirsty shiz there.

 

if she can do it with a plumber she can seriously do it with white collar office guy.

 

your wife has some serious sexual fantasy going on there. i think she gets her high from you not knowing. eating the forbidden fruit. having what she cant have.

 

time to get a PI. and see how far the rabbit hole goes.

[bobwhite007]

i mean seriously the plumber? whats next the cable guy? the gardener. that some thirsty shiz there.

 

if she can do it with a plumber she can seriously do it with white collar office guy.

 

your wife has some serious sexual fantasy going on there. i think she gets her high from you not knowing. eating the forbidden fruit. having what she cant have.

 

time to get a PI. and see how far the rabbit hole goes.

I call him a plumber,he owns a big plumbing company,he doesn't unstop toilets for a living, they work all over the southeast ,has condo at the beach. He is very successful.

[Realist3]

Best I can tell it all started two years ago, fast forward to now. Still married. We are doing good I think. She has tried really hard to make me happy. I still follow her on google and still can't say I trust her. We have lunch together every day. I haven't brought the past up in a long time. I've been trying to move on. Now I think it's not fair to her guilty or not. I think she deletes calls and texts from some people. One I mentioned early on has never texted or called her again.or they get deleted. They work together I know they communicate. She just trying to keep me from being jealous, the same reason she deleted calls and texts from the plumber. I set deadline for this month to share with her my progression and let her decide what she wants with me still feeling this way. She has told a couple of lies and got a story confused the other day. Said she been 1place all day then a few minutes later says I went by " today and then to the *^%#. Feel free to advise please.

 

Best to just air it all out. You have been through enough.

[happyman64]

If you have not hired a PI in all this time then why not just take her on a date to the local polygraph office recommend by your local police dept. before you lose your mind.

 

 

If she passes then it is your issue to find a good therapist.

 

 

And if it is on her then you both will need a good therapist.

[flowergirl14]

You could try a gps of some sort.

[Betrayed&Stayed]

If you log into her google account from a regular computer you might be able to access her chat history. Also, I wouldn't confront until I had undeniable evidence.

 

You can also see her "location" history for each day with times, etc.

[elaine567]

Original post was TWO YEARS ago, Bob appears to have reconciled with his wife, see the update post. #12

[bobwhite007]

Well, gps shows her at a residence on the other side of town for the last 60 minutes, she won't respond to my texts. I have made her feel very comfortable for the last few weeks and just like all the stories say it happens they go right back to the Same ole thing. Still I have no concrete proof but this time I gonna go on like everything is fine and hopefully she hangs herself? If it goes like it has in the past if I come on to her tonight I end up getting oral,every time so far I think she been up to extra curicular activities she does that, only decent part of this whole deal, lol. She really thinks I'm stupid. And you all probably do too.