GuyInLimbo Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 Not to be pushy, but this is Cottage's thread, so can we sorta get back on track? I told her via IM that her H in the first stage of grief: denial. If she wants it to end, she has to be firm and consistent and not give him any hope. He's gonna beg and plead because he knows he screwed up and it's too late. I'm pretty much in the same boat as her, but I have other things going on that have stopped me this summer. I really believe that one can be "done" past a point of no return and I think she's past that. As the above poster said, indecision is torture. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 23, 2013 Share Posted August 23, 2013 I'm pretty much in the same boat as her, but I have other things going on that have stopped me this summer. I really believe that one can be "done" past a point of no return and I think she's past that. As the above poster said, indecision is torture. GIL, don't think you're ever going to get out Hate to think you'll wake up one day and realize you wasted most of your life in "limbo" ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author cozycottagelg Posted October 30, 2013 Author Share Posted October 30, 2013 I am still here....and still married. I cannot muster up the courage to leave. I feel like a giant failure and a weak female. Everyday I stand in the kitchen after work and in my head I'm screaming "I am moving out, I'm sorry, I'm done" but it just won't come out. I read threads on here of husbands whose wives have left, and all I can think is "lucky her"... how did she do it? Where did she find her courage?? This isn't about IC..I'm past MC.. I literally am too big of a f-bombing WIMP to leave. I don't want to be the one to ruin my husbands life. I know he will move on, I know the kids will be okay... I've thought this over, I know it's the right thing for ME. Then I feel selfish... I just want to leave and I am too chicken. Not looking for sympathy...but could somebody pass me a set of balls? Link to post Share on other sites
dumped2013 Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I got a set I don't need anymore....... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 I am still here....and still married. I cannot muster up the courage to leave. I feel like a giant failure and a weak female. Everyday I stand in the kitchen after work and in my head I'm screaming "I am moving out, I'm sorry, I'm done" but it just won't come out. I read threads on here of husbands whose wives have left, and all I can think is "lucky her"... how did she do it? Where did she find her courage?? This isn't about IC..I'm past MC.. I literally am too big of a f-bombing WIMP to leave. I don't want to be the one to ruin my husbands life. I know he will move on, I know the kids will be okay... I've thought this over, I know it's the right thing for ME. Then I feel selfish... I just want to leave and I am too chicken. Not looking for sympathy...but could somebody pass me a set of balls? In fairness to my STBXW, she felt very much the same as you. Afraid to leave me. It took me some time to finally accept that it was over, but eventually it was light a light switch. I had told her the most important thing to me was her happiness. But selfishly I kept pushing for her to stay. Once I finally realized that if I really felt that her happiness was that important to me, I needed to let her go. What you should do is list the worst things that will happen if you leave. I'll bet once you see them written out, you'll be surprised at how not a big deal they really are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted October 30, 2013 Share Posted October 30, 2013 Cozy: One more thing that helped my STBXW kick me out the door and get herself ready to move on was I made her say to me multiple times that she did not love me anymore. Now hers escalated to "I never loved you" but saying it out loud really helped push her to get off the fence. I'm sure your husband is where I was. Holding onto that shred of hope. You need to take that little bundle of hope, hold it in front of his face, and squash it like grape. Just like saying "I want to separate" kicked your husband into action, this will as well. But hopefully to help you both move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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