How soon is too soon for sex?

[Bianca]

O.K. So we all know every relationship is different. We know there are different standards and morals and etc....

 

However, in the AVERAGE world, where you want a long term, monogomous relationship with a guy, with possibly a future, how soon is too soon to sleep with a guy?

 

I am just being curious. In previous relationships, the one month rule(invented by me), worked fine. But I just started seeing a man two weeks ago, and am very attracted. Will he think less of me if I sleep with him too soon? (Guys, advice please).

 

Also, I don't feel that I know him very well, but I don't know that a month, versus two or three weeks makes a huge difference either.

 

Can you ask a guy, early on what he is looking for in a relationship? Like longterm, or for fun? Or would that make a guy run off? I'd hate to get involved with this guy, if he is only looking for fun.

[Tony T]

I think it's pretty important, as part of getting to know each other early on, to ask what the guy is looking for in a relationship. That is, if he is 24 or older or if he seems mature.

 

Just talking average here, the average young man under 24 is soaking with testosterone and very likely to want sex as a primary ingredient of a relationship, although there are many exceptions.

 

As for your one-month rule, it would be my guess that if a guy hangs around for that long just to get to know you and doesn't press you for sex, he is probably pretty sincere. However, that is not a fail safe timetable. Relationships are lots more complex than that.

 

If you are with a guy, enjoy his company, his conversation, admire his intellect, goals, morals, honesty, integrity and have lots in common with him, I think sex would probably be a pretty natural thing to follow...whether it's a few weeks or a month.

 

But I warn you. Just because you have sex with a guy, don't read a lot more into it than is there. Just because you have sex doesn't necessarily mean you are in a committed relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean he's in love with you, and doesn't necessarily mean he will ever ask you out again.

 

I am really sorry there are no guarantees to this because I think most women place a lot more emotional and relational significance to sex than men do. Your best attitude is to do so when you feel it's right to do and do so without any expectations whatsoever. Hell, he may be the worst you ever had and you may no longer be interested yourself.

 

There are many times when sex can indeed cement a bond that will continue to grow. It just depends on the two people.

 

Always pray for the best but be prepared for whatever happens.

 

P.S. Do you think your one month rule would be good for abstaining from fatty foods? I need to lose a few pounds.