awful87 Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 (edited) I lost my girl friend to infidelity four months ago. When we were discussing the break up I crying into her chest grabbed her shirt and kind of collapsed into her. It wasn't forceful in any way, it didn't hurt her, nor was it meant to hurt her, but I still know it was wrong. I would never hurt her in any way, but I feel awful and hate myself for being abusive. I'm so sorry. Was it abusive, am I a terrible person? Edited June 7, 2013 by awful87 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 I lost my girl friend to infidelity four months ago. When we were discussing the break up I crying into her chest grabbed her shirt and kind of collapsed into her. It wasn't forceful in any way, it didn't hurt her, nor was it meant to hurt her, but I still know it was wrong. I would never hurt her in any way, but I feel awful and hate myself for being abusive. I'm so sorry. Was it abusive, am I a terrible person? Please describe what "collapsed into her" means. Link to post Share on other sites
Author awful87 Posted June 7, 2013 Author Share Posted June 7, 2013 Rested my head on her chest would best describe it. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 It would be up to her, as the recipient, to define whether or not it was "abusive". But... No, you are not a terrible person. Even if she says it WAS abuse, if you are able to learn and grow and behave differently in the future, there is no reason to feel horrible about it. We ALL make mistakes, and we all hurt people somewhere down the line (usually unintentionally). Don't hate yourself. Instead acknowledge that your behavior did not align with your values, and make a commitment to yourself that you will try to live your life in a way that your behavior DOES align with your values. Apologize to her if you feel you need to. Then just move forward and put this behind you. Beating yourself up over something you cannot change is futile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 7, 2013 Share Posted June 7, 2013 Rested my head on her chest would best describe it. I am truly confused. If resting one's head on his girlfriend's or wife's chest is abuse, then that word has lost meaning. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I lost my girl friend to infidelity four months ago. When we were discussing the break up I crying into her chest grabbed her shirt and kind of collapsed into her. It wasn't forceful in any way, it didn't hurt her, nor was it meant to hurt her, but I still know it was wrong. I would never hurt her in any way, but I feel awful and hate myself for being abusive. I'm so sorry. Was it abusive, am I a terrible person? Love, it wasn't abusive...although in the future, it's just best during a heated situation or break up to just keep your hands in tact and your distance...I say this because you don't know how the other person will take it. I've seen people end up in jail for less, you never know what another person will do... as you can see my trust level is about zero, andit's because I've seen more than I should have. Hey, you take care and hope you are ok now? No? Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted June 8, 2013 Share Posted June 8, 2013 I am still totally confused. Am I missing something? Link to post Share on other sites
MercuryMorrison1 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Abusive? ...No. If you grabbed her by the shirt and smacked her down, then yeah it would be abusive. But sobbing on her chest collapsing onto her? I mean, I don't know the exact details of what actually happened? Did you pin her to the ground and hold her down against her will? That might be viewed as abuse. But if you just cried on her chest...I fail to understand how that is abusing someone. Did she claim that you abused her when this happened? Link to post Share on other sites
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