The continuing adventures of some amazing dude.

[Trimmer]

Many of you knew how I desperately wanted a GF for so long, and I'm finally actually close to making it happen.

I'm really happy for you too. I want to encourage you not to look at this as some kind of an endeavor that has an end-goal that will make or break it - as something that you are "close to making happen."

 

In fact sir, it is happening now. You are on the journey. Please treasure the moments you spend together, whether it's cooking together (so much fun!) just kinda making out, talking, or playing in bed with your tops off. Appreciate the journey each step of the way, and don't focus on a finish line.

 

Heh, I don't want this to get turned into erotica and have my thread moved into the sex section.

Although admittedly, that would preclude non-registered people from browsing the thread, right?

 

Considering that a lot of crap has happened in my life and I've never really been happy, I don't get what's wrong with saying that she's the best thing that has happened to me. There's a girl I like who likes me back, and she was in my bed and I saw her boobs. That was amazing!

I'm actually supportive of this, as long as you aren't feeling like "This is the best thing that will ever happen to me..." but more like "this is certainly a peak moment in my life so far...") As I said above, I urge you to appreciate all of it and every piece of it - the whole journey, step by step.

 

Thanks for the concern but there is no real need to compose myself at this point. I'm not head over heels for her. I like her, but it's nowhere even close to the obsession I've had for other girls.

You do sound remarkably grounded. Best of luck to you! Just remember: you're not waiting to find out whether you are going to be successful or not, you are already on a positive journey.

[Els]

Right now I'm not crushing on her that hard.

 

It's probably because I was into her then I found out she had a BF, then lost that interest and moved on to other girls. And now that interest is starting to come back. One thing for sure is that I'm lusting after her hardcore. It's much stronger for her than any girl before.

 

Still, it's a good frame of mind to be in this early on, IMO.

 

We always advise women to not invest too much of themselves in too quickly. I'd say that would also be good advice to a guy in your situation. So, yes, keep grounded, enjoy yourself, and be sure to contact her a little during your trip.

[sweetkiwi]

Definitely cool. Happy for you man.

 

Just don't put too much pressure on yourself or her. Appreciate that she actually likes you and has for a few months. That is lifetimes in "hot girl land" .

[somedude81]

She turned him down for sex on the third date. She was not ready for it. The fact that she had to go out of town for two weeks is not why she wanted to wait. She just wasn't ready for it yet this early in the relationship.

I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex soon after she gets back.

 

We were texting recently and the topic got to alcohol. I mentioned that the next time she comes over that we should have more than one bottle of wine and then she brought up something about people forgetting to take basic precautions. I asked her to clarify and she said that she was talking about condoms. So right then I knew that she had sex on the brain. She also mentioned something about having to get on the pill again and so on.

 

At this point we're just playing it by ear but know that sex is inevitable.

[KungFuJoe]

Sounds like she's open to sex and also openly discussing it. Definitely a good sign that she doesn't have any hang ups about sex nor is she trying to hang it over your head like a carrot on a stick.

 

Big thumbs up.

[sillyanswer]

I mentioned that the next time she comes over that we should have more than one bottle of wine and then she brought up something about people forgetting to take basic precautions.

 

I don't know about you, but I find that too much booze makes for bad sex... even when all the precautions are remembered.

[RedRobin]

I'm pretty sure we're going to have sex soon after she gets back.

 

We were texting recently and the topic got to alcohol. I mentioned that the next time she comes over that we should have more than one bottle of wine and then she brought up something about people forgetting to take basic precautions. I asked her to clarify and she said that she was talking about condoms. So right then I knew that she had sex on the brain. She also mentioned something about having to get on the pill again and so on.

 

At this point we're just playing it by ear but know that sex is inevitable.

 

Ok... well, be the man and make sure you address her concerns regarding precautions and show you are going to be a team player that way.

 

I've ditched more than one guy who thought it was all my job to worry about that stuff. Didn't give me the warm fuzzies if he had a habit of doing things on the fly or trying to... if you catch my drift.

[somedude81]

I don't know about you, but I find that too much booze makes for bad sex... even when all the precautions are remembered.

I really doubt that we are going to get wasted.

 

I was just amazed that she made the jump from talking about alcohol, to talking about sex.

[Eternal Sunshine]

Last time I shared bottle of vodka with a guy and we had sex. It was awful. Just saying to lay off the alcohol.

[somedude81]

Ok... well, be the man and make sure you address her concerns regarding precautions and show you are going to be a team player that way.

 

I've ditched more than one guy who thought it was all my job to worry about that stuff. Didn't give me the warm fuzzies if he had a habit of doing things on the fly or trying to... if you catch my drift.

Heh, I told her a day later after it was deciced to go out dancing in my city, that I bought a box of condoms. I was not expecting her to stay over at all, but felt that the possibility was there and I wanted to be prepared.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I don't get it.Is this a thread waiting to see when a girl puts out?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Isn't it exhausting picking apart every move she makes?

Why not just relax and enjoy the ride?

[somedude81]

It depends on the girl, better not to get her drunk. Two bottles of whine seems like a lot.

I have no interest in either of us getting drunk. But it's nice to have something to drink. And apparently one bottle of wine wasn't enough.

 

I don't get it.Is this a thread waiting to see when a girl puts out?

How the heck did you come to that conclusion?

 

Isn't it exhausting picking apart every move she makes?

Why not just relax and enjoy the ride?

I'm not picking apart her moves. I'm just observing what is happening, because as I've said a million times on this board, this is the first time something like this has ever happened to me.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I have no interest in either of us getting drunk. But it's nice to have something to drink. And apparently one bottle of wine wasn't enough.

 

 

How the heck did you come to that conclusion?

 

I'm not picking apart her moves. I'm just observing what is happening, because as I've said a million times on this board, this is the first time something like this has ever happened to me.

 

All I keep reading is "I think we will have sex" "she brought up sex" or something stressing about having sex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm happy for you, but maybe the lack of your success is in the way you handle the situations. Stop updating and having people help analyze what she says. Just go with the flow and let what happens happen.

[tbf]

While I'm unbelievably relieved that you opted to pursue and garnered success, it greatly concerns me how you will react if sex or a relationship doesn't happen.

[ThaWholigan]

While I'm unbelievably relieved that you opted to pursue and garnered success, it greatly concerns me how you will react if sex or a relationship doesn't happen.

I'm quietly optimistic he will handle it, but it does concern me also. A support network outside of us would be beneficial, but generally guys in my experience tend to revert inwards anyway.

 

I predict a quantum leap in understanding even further than the one we've witnessed.

[SmileFace]

I'm quietly optimistic he will handle it, but it does concern me also. A support network outside of us would be beneficial, but generally guys in my experience tend to revert inwards anyway.

 

I predict a quantum leap in understanding even further than the one we've witnessed.

Or he just turns really bitter .

 

We shall see..

 

As the world turns

[somedude81]

All I keep reading is "I think we will have sex" "she brought up sex" or something stressing about having sex.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm happy for you, but maybe the lack of your success is in the way you handle the situations. Stop updating and having people help analyze what she says. Just go with the flow and let what happens happen.

Never in my life have I come close to being in this situation. This is completely new ground and very exciting for me.

 

She is the second girl I've ever kissed and the one before her was 10 years ago.

 

So yeah, talking about sex is a big deal to me.

While I'm unbelievably relieved that you opted to pursue and garnered success, it greatly concerns me how you will react if sex or a relationship doesn't happen.

I will be disappointed but it's not like I'm going to go on a shooting spree.

 

Odds are I'd be sad for a week or two then start going after other girls. It would hardly be the first time I've been turned down by a girl. Heck I was already rejected by two other girls this year before she said yes.

[tbf]

I'm quietly optimistic he will handle it, but it does concern me also. A support network outside of us would be beneficial, but generally guys in my experience tend to revert inwards anyway.

 

I predict a quantum leap in understanding even further than the one we've witnessed.

 

Or he just turns really bitter .

 

We shall see..

 

As the world turns

I sincerely hope, hope, hope that this works out. It's concerning when people tie their entire self-esteem into the opinion/actions of another person.

[SmileFace]

How old is this chick again?

 

Why did her last relationship end?

[tbf]

I will be disappointed but it's not like I'm going to go on a shooting spree.

 

Odds are I'd be sad for a week or two then start going after other girls. It would hardly be the first time I've been turned down by a girl. Heck I was already rejected by two other girls this year before she said yes.

Good to hear and hope for the best for you.

 

I'm sure you've heard the cliche but:

 

Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

[somedude81]

How old is this chick again?

 

Why did her last relationship end?

She'll be 21 next month.

 

Her relationship ended because the guy was changing and she didn't like where it was going.

 

She also met some amazing guy in a dance class.

[SmileFace]

She'll be 21 next month.

 

Her relationship ended because the guy was changing and she didn't like where it was going.

 

She also met some amazing guy in a dance class.

Gosh I hope he is ok with the two of you dating.

 

Now don't get caught giving liquor to a minor.

A little wine cooler here and there is still a illegal

[Imajerk17]

I'm curious SD, did you mention this girl before this past month or two? As in a few months before or even earlier than that. I remember there were a few girls in your dance class you had your eye on.

 

Yeah I was a mess when my first relationship ended too. Enjoy yourself SD but the likelihood of this lasting very long is low, part of the reason is your big age difference. She will change a lot from 20 going on 21 to 22 going on 23. I say this to you not to sound like a downer but to get you to enjoy being in the moment. This relationship is like a flower beautiful but who knows how long it will be in bloom so enjoy it now.

[RedRobin]

Heh, I told her a day later after it was deciced to go out dancing in my city, that I bought a box of condoms. I was not expecting her to stay over at all, but felt that the possibility was there and I wanted to be prepared.

 

(big RR pat on the head to you)...

 

Good of you to have them... just make sure you use them now

 

Here's another piece of wisdom... make sure the shrink wrap is removed and a few are out of the box for easy access. Nothing dampens the mood like having to fumble through a lot of packaging...

 

A little mood lighting is also nice... I keep candles around. It is the perfect lighting... My bathroom has a dimmer switch too.

[SmileFace]

I'm curious SD, did you mention this girl before this past month or two? As in a few months before or even earlier than that. I remember there were a few girls in your dance class you had your eye on.

 

Yeah I was a mess when my first relationship ended too. Enjoy yourself SD but the likelihood of this lasting very long is low, part of the reason is your big age difference. She will change a lot from 20 going on 21 to 22 going on 23. I say this to you not to sound like a downer but to get you to enjoy being in the moment. This relationship is like a flower beautiful but who knows how long it will be in bloom so enjoy it now.

This is exactly why I asked her age.