The continuing adventures of some amazing dude.

[somedude81]

Gosh I hope he is ok with the two of you dating.

 

Now don't get caught giving liquor to a minor.

A little wine cooler here and there is still a illegal

All alcohol consumed was provided by her parents. Yes, that's how it got there...

I remember when my first real girlfriend sexual relationship didn't work out. We had only dated for a few months and had sex a handful of times, but when we broke up I was a mess. I got over it pretty quick and I was a lot younger than somedude so, I'm sure he'll be fine if things don't work out. The relationships has at least a 50/50 shot right?

 

Just enjoy that things are going good now and don't think about things not working out. Sounds like you may be heading into the honeymoon phase where you'll get sex every day your schedule allows. Make sure to call her your gf if that happens. I mean unless you sense that will make things weird haha

Honeymoon phase? I can't even begin to imagine that.

I'm curious SD, did you mention this girl before this past month or two? As in a few months before or even earlier than that. I remember there were a few girls in your dance class you had your eye on.

Yeah I'm pretty sure I did. I think I brought up the girl with the boyfriend who was acting oddly nice to me. There were four girls in my class that I was interested in, but she was the only one I asked out, and that wasn't till after class ended.

Yeah I was a mess when my first relationship ended too. Enjoy yourself SD but the likelihood of this lasting very long is low, part of the reason is your big age difference. She will change a lot from 20 going on 21 to 22 going on 23. I say this to you not to sound like a downer but to get you to enjoy being in the moment. This relationship is like a flower beautiful but who knows how long it will be in bloom so enjoy it now.

20 going on 21 to 22 going on 23? That's like three years. I hardly expect it to last even half as long. Heck I don't even think it will last past December once I graduate and will most likely get a job back in my home town. There's no way I'll get into a LDR so I'll hope for a very amicable break up if that's what happens. There's also a chance it may end in September if she ends up going away to a school out of the area. This may very well end up a summer fling, but none of us are talking about it.

 

 

(big RR pat on the head to you)...

 

Good of you to have them... just make sure you use them now

Hah, of course we are going to use them. Getting a girl pregnant would have a huge impact on my life and it's not something I'm even close to being able to deal with.

 

Here's another piece of wisdom... make sure the shrink wrap is removed and a few are out of the box for easy access. Nothing dampens the mood like having to fumble through a lot of packaging...

Yup, that's already been taken care of. I knew that taking off the box wrapping would be a pain and I also separated some of them so they are good to go.

 

A little mood lighting is also nice... I keep candles around. It is the perfect lighting... My bathroom has a dimmer switch too.

You do it in the bathroom?

 

My bedroom is always dark, and aside from the main ceiling light, I have a little lamp next to my bed that I can also control how much light it puts out.

[SmileFace]

Wait, why did her parents supply the liquor?

 

giggle

 

 

 

But why?

[SmileFace]

They were offering their daughter up as a sacrifice to some amazing dude.

 

Call it what you want... friend

 

However I wouldn't feel cool drinking the girl I am just to bang parents liquor while I am trying to bang her.

 

Plus he is way over the age to liquor for them both

Edited June 10, 2013 by SmileFace

[FitChick]

Don't tell her you're a virgin. She sounds a bit aggressive so will probably lead you. After you've been together a while and have a satisfying sex life, then break the news.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

SD, I still think it's awesome that you're 30+ and pulling -21 girls.

 

Maybe you could teach me a thing or 2 when I hit the big 3-0.

[somedude81]

Don't tell her you're a virgin. She sounds a bit aggressive so will probably lead you. After you've been together a while and have a satisfying sex life, then break the news.

I'm not a virgin. But I have told her I've been single for a while.

 

She asked and I felt that was close enough to the truth for her.

 

I think I'll still end up leading since there is so much I want to do.

[somedude81]

SD, I still think it's awesome that you're 30+ and pulling -21 girls.

 

Maybe you could teach me a thing or 2 when I hit the big 3-0.

Hah! It just happened because I'm going to a school where almost nobody is older than 23.

 

I also look and act way younger than I am. Hell, I asked her to guess how old she thinks I am, and she guess 23, then I told her my real age.

[veggirl]

Call it what you want... friend

 

However I wouldn't feel cool drinking the girl I am just to bang parents liquor while I am trying to bang her.

 

Plus he is way over the age to liquor for them both

 

I don't know, I'm 30 and I have no prob drinking alcohol provided by my parents or my bf's and then banging. It's like cool here's some free drinks, hey wanna sneak into my old bedroom? No prob.

 

Sd you don't even need advice at this point. I've noticed throughout this you've done what you wanted/what felt natural without overanalyzing. No one should be concerned about you, it's all good you really did just need a chance.

[Trimmer]

She'll be 21 next month.

 

Her relationship ended because the guy was changing and she didn't like where it was going.

 

She also met some amazing guy in a dance class.

 

Gosh I hope he is ok with the two of you dating.

Ha ha... yes, he seems to be pretty OK with it!

[Teknoe]

SD, do you still cling to the belief that being short sucks?

See, short men can attract girls. You just had to try and make some moves!

[Teknoe]

Hah! It just happened because I'm going to a school where almost nobody is older than 23.

 

I also look and act way younger than I am. Hell, I asked her to guess how old she thinks I am, and she guess 23, then I told her my real age.

 

LOL. I can picture that.

 

"Hmmm, you're... 23???"

 

"Uh... wow. Thanks. But no, I'm not 23. Um... flip those numbers... HA!"

[somedude81]

We met up today for dinner and she's going out of state for a couple weeks.

 

This will be hard.

 

SD, do you still cling to the belief that being short sucks?

See, short men can attract girls. You just had to try and make some moves!

Eh, I don't want to start being negative. So I'll I'm going to say is that I got very lucky.

[SJC2008]

We met up today for dinner and she's going out of state for a couple weeks.

 

This will be hard.

 

 

Eh, I don't want to start being negative. So I'll I'm going to say is that I got very lucky.

 

Oh cool I thought she left already, glad you got to see her once more.

 

Who cares how you got there, ejnoy it and keep you head screwed on strait.

 

Have you gotten a vibe as to what contact between yall is going to be like when she's out of town?

[somedude81]

Oh cool I thought she left already, glad you got to see her once more.

 

Who cares how you got there, ejnoy it and keep you head screwed on strait.

 

Have you gotten a vibe as to what contact between yall is going to be like when she's out of town?

Right now we're texting every night for an hour or two and that will either continue or slow down a bit.

 

I'll also call her a few times, which I haven't done that much.

 

Last night's conversation was pretty interesting and I learned more about her ex and more how her view on sex and why she wants to wait a bit.

 

I definitely understand where she's coming from. Though it's hard for me because I've waited so long and she's basically given me a preview. Still what is waiting a few more weeks when I've already been waiting 18 years?

[somedude81]

Wow, so we just had the "What if I get pregnant" talk.

 

That was exhausting.

 

How many couples actually talk about that stuff before they have sex?

 

15 days till she gets back.

[crude]

I'm submitting this thread to The Guinness Book Of Records under "least spontaneous sex ever."

[somedude81]

I'm submitting this thread to The Guinness Book Of Records under "least spontaneous sex ever."

Well that kind of happens when she's out of state for a few weeks and when we got close last time we were together.

 

Plus shes an intelligent and educated woman and maybe is also a bit over worried about these things.

 

That's probably why most people just have a few drinks and get it over with.

 

She wants to wait some time, a few months because of what happened with her ex, but she also seemed that it might happen sooner and what's why she wanted to have the talk with me. Plus she wants me to get tested.

 

We've made soft plans for her to stay over my place soon after she gets back, but I don't know if I want her to sleep over if we aren't going to have sex. That's just very frustrating for me. I can just imagine her putting a sudden stop to the action and since I'm such an easy going guy, I'll fallow her wishes but it will completely bug me.

 

She says she really likes me but it feels like she has all the power.

Edited June 15, 2013 by somedude81

[tbf]

Most excellent that you've had the "let's have responsible sex" convo!

 

But if it took a long time and was exhausting, it sounds like she's also an over-thinker which makes her perfect for you.

[somedude81]

Most excellent that you've had the "let's have responsible sex" convo!

 

But if it took a long time and was exhausting, it sounds like she's also an over-thinker which makes her perfect for you.

Yea she is a complete over-thinker and she said that she wants to completely trusts me first. And I gave her the most honest answers I could give her at this point in my life.

 

As for me over-thinking, sex is actually something I don't want to think about that much. Yeah sure lets both get tested and use condoms till we find a method of BC that works. But talking about what to do in the worst case scenario just seems pointless.

 

Ugh, I wish I could get a temporary vasectomy.

[Mme. Chaucer]

That's probably why most people just have a few drinks and get it over with.

 

Now, that is not the attitude to have!

 

 

We've made soft plans for her to stay over my place soon after she gets back, but I don't know if I want her to sleep over if we aren't going to have sex. That's just very frustrating for me. I can just imagine her putting a sudden stop to the action and since I'm such an easy going guy, I'll fallow her wishes but it will completely bug me.

I agree that it's probably better if this "sleepover" thing does not continue. You don't want to set a precedent, plus, as you say, it's frustrating.

 

She says she really likes me but it feels like she has all the power.

Please banish such thoughts. Power and who has it really has no place in dating and getting intimate (not only sexually) with another person.

It just brings things down.

[Trimmer]

Plus shes an intelligent and educated woman and maybe is also a bit over worried about these things.

 

That's probably why most people just have a few drinks and get it over with.

There's a name for a lot of those type people: parents.

[Xinreeki]

 

We've made soft plans for her to stay over my place soon after she gets back, but I don't know if I want her to sleep over if we aren't going to have sex. That's just very frustrating for me. I can just imagine her putting a sudden stop to the action and since I'm such an easy going guy, I'll fallow her wishes but it will completely bug me.

 

She says she really likes me but it feels like she has all the power.

 

Whatever happened to THIS way of thinking SD -

 

 

Oh, I know I can get other girls.

 

But they wouldn't even be remotely close to as amazing as she is.

 

I know I found a great girl and I want to keep her. Making her happy makes me happy.

 

I really hate to say this SD, but if you are already starting to resent her and her wishes etc, then I honestly don't think this is going to work out, because it seems to me like you're just not compatible.

 

You can't build a healthy, strong loving relationship around such resentment and distrust. And as you've already admitted getting frustrated with her and being distrustful of her (thinking she has all the power) then it doesn't look good for you.

 

If you are the kind of guy that can't just cuddle, that can't just snuggle up to someone and feel close to them and that is what she is wanting right now, then it seems likely you're just not a good match.

 

If you don't want to wait for sex in a relationship that is fine, and if you're a very sexual person and she's not, that's also fine.

 

This is just what she wants right now, to build a solid foundation for this relationship, to base it on closeness and not immediately sex. And if you distrust her views about that, or simply just disagree with those views and feel its not for you, then this relationship looks set to become a very rocky one.

 

 

I suggest you do some serious thinking as to whether this is what you truly want or not, because it sounds to me like she is not a good match for you, and that the resentment you're building for her will one day spew out of you, and hurt the both of you a lot.

Edited June 15, 2013 by Xinreeki

[sillyanswer]

Wow, so we just had the "What if I get pregnant" talk.

 

That was exhausting.

 

How many couples actually talk about that stuff before they have sex?

 

Dunno, but I have with some partners.

[Leigh 87]

Texting every night for an hour or two is a GOOD sign.

 

A very good sign.

 

Enjoy this, realise most first relationships do not work out, but enjoy the ride!

 

Wow, so we just had the "What if I get pregnant" talk.

 

That was exhausting.

 

How many couples actually talk about that stuff before they have sex?

 

15 days till she gets back.

 

 

 

That's a bit full on.

 

I mean, most people just date and see hot things go...

 

I guess you're not most people:laugh:

 

That's not a bad thing:)

 

But no, not many couples, in this day and age, talk about getting pregnant before having sex.

 

You sound like you are the types of people who get carries away and like talking a lot to the people you date! I am actually like this myself.

 

Since you talk a lot, well, every night, then yes, it is not totally weird you had that talk.

 

It is just out of place in the current dating scene, when a lot of people date casually, and don't talk for hours every night with every person they date.

Edited June 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[Els]

 

How many couples actually talk about that stuff before they have sex?

 

Not many do, probably, but they really should.

 

Neither an abortion nor raising an accidental kid is a walk in the park...

 

 

We've made soft plans for her to stay over my place soon after she gets back, but I don't know if I want her to sleep over if we aren't going to have sex. That's just very frustrating for me. I can just imagine her putting a sudden stop to the action and since I'm such an easy going guy, I'll fallow her wishes but it will completely bug me.

 

She says she really likes me but it feels like she has all the power.

 

If you really feel that way, you should talk to her about this. I mean, there's no possible way she can tell what you're thinking if you don't tell her.

 

Just out of curiousity, do you know if her ex was close to your age, or closer to her own? I'm thinking that yes, most college guys in their early 20s wouldn't be amenable to such things (cuddling without sex, considering the possibility of pregnancy, etc), because they'd be more, well, impatient and immature. Perhaps the older guy thing is her way of trying to get someone more compatible with her way of thinking. Which could be a good thing. Trust me, a young girl who has sex without considering the possibility of pregnancy is a one-way ticket to child-supportville...

Edited June 15, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge