How do you improve your self esteem/deal with insecurities?

[gina42]

I am in a WONDERFUL relationship with a man right now who makes me feel like I am the only woman on the planet. He romantic, loving, trustworthy...all that good stuff..

 

Problem is...I have some self esteem issues. I need to lose weight..that is the main thing. I obsess over his past relationships..always wondering if sex was better for him with them because I'm fat. I probably need to lose about 30 lbs.

 

Anyway...he doesn't say anything to make me feel bad. Does the opposite actually and encourages me to excerxise for health reasons as well As so I'll feel better about myself.

 

How do I deal with thinking about his dumb ex's all the time? I know that is the first step....stop thinking about them. Lol.

 

Can anyone recommend any good books or websites for learning to improve self esteem/ confidence?

 

Thanks!

[Appleness]

Personally I found that the "fake it til you make it" attitude goes a long way.

 

If you want to lose weight, do so safely and slowly. Most importantly, do it for yourself and your health, not to please him. Some men actually like buxom women with curves. As for the exes, seriously everyone has exes. There's nothing you can do about them because they are his past. As long as they don't try to wreck your relationship now, that's all that matters.

 

So the final part is you. What is it about you makes you have self-esteem issues? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that if this man is attracted to you and that you are dating, you are beautiful in his eyes. This means that there is no rationale behind your insecurities. Female attractiveness is highly controllable. If you don't feel pretty, go get your hair done. Get one of those cosmetics makeovers and change your makeup. I guarantee you'll start getting compliments. Do things to pamper yourself. If you're more the intellectual type, take classes and boost your confidence in accomplishments. There are so many things you can do to not feel like this.

[PogoStick]

Then lose the 30 pounds. 6 months and problem solved. If you do it with lots of exercise, not only will you lose the weight you'll gain some sexy muscular lines.

[Casablanca]

Do you have a smart phone? Even if you don't myfitnesspal.com is a great site/app where you log how much you eat, you can set goals, like lose 2lbs per week, 1 lb per week, etc. You can tweak your profile to your lifestyle and body type.

 

It works best if you have friends on there, thats when I started to get really motivated by seeing a couple of my friends post on it every day

 

When in doubt, consider this quite from Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones "Never forget who you are, for surely the world won’t. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you."

[Roadkill007]

If you want to lose weight, do so safely and slowly.

 

 

^^^^^ THIS

 

I've known many women with the "no pain no gain" attitude that recklessly refuse to eat while exercising a ton at the same time... at the very least they tire out too fast during the workout and sometimes they even faint...

Moderation, routine, and safety are key.

[jphcbpa]

the ex's are ex's for a reason. if he wanted to be with them, then he would. he is choosing you.

 

there is more going on here than you losing weight. it feels there is a deeper emotional struggle that you are wanting to take a look at and losing 30 lbs is not going to fix.

 

focus on both the emotional and physical (spiritual if inclined) and give this time. this is not an overnight fix.

 

focus on what you want and have, be grateful. give energy to these things.