I despise talking to my parents

[Msrxchef]

I don't know if this is a coming-of-age thing going on for me, but I'm currently in school (an upcoming junior in college) and really REALLY enjoy my time with myself.

I hate, and i mean really hate, talking to my parents. I hate going home on long breaks. I hate spending time with my parents. When they try to care, it's fine, i get they are trying to be parent-ly with me, but when its about anything else (their friends, my relatives, my friends, work problems, gas prices, etc etc etc) I just can't bear to listen. They rant, they get insecure, they blame others, it's annoying.

I love my sisters (they're younger than me so they currently live with my parents), but it's just my parents I hate spending time with.

Why?

-My mom is very opinionated. She rants about everything (especially her sister lately). When we're eating family dinner, she talks the entire time. Just her. No one else says anything unless it's a general statement of agreement to her story. (Oh a tornado hit Oklahoma? Really that's interesting.)

-My dad is very controlling. When we are at home, its almost like he has a camera set on you and he's watching you constantly. Oh i'm in the bathroom? Yes I am. Oh i'm reading a novel and not studying for my non-existent classes? Yes I am. Oh i'm not spending every quality minute with my sisters? No i'm not. Oh i'm not playing the piano? No i'm not.

 

This probably sounds like a rant to you but I honestly don't know how else to explain my situation without getting a little mad. So excuse my ranti-ness.

 

Somebody feel the same way or am I just being stupid/naive?

I honestly don't understand why people want to call their parents, or why they bother to text their dad about their day. I could care less about them. So far I've only been keeping in touch with emails (mainly for money) and my family calls me but they're usually short phone convos (less than 10 mins). Email is great because you can be professional and to the point.

 

So yeah, anyone want to tell me if they think I'll grow out of my stupidity? Or if I can focus on a way to improve my ****ty but not that ****ty situation?

Edited June 8, 2013 by Msrxchef

[2sure]

Well, I'll be honest only to be kind. You sound immature, self engrossed and entitled. Also, it will probably pass.

[Gunny376]

Not to worry! Not a problem! They'll be dead and gone soon enough and you will never be plagued with this un-bearable burden ever again forever the rest of your ever-loving days!

 

And then once they're good and gone FOREVER you can truly be alone and to yourself in this World. Because once your parents are gone? You're pretty much on your own!

[Nyla]

What is immature about not wanting to be watched like a hawk or constantly listening to rants?

 

When I moved back home for a year when I was 24, I had so many fights with my parents because they still wanted to control me like I was a little kid.

 

They are old fashioned and they think a "girl child" should have no freedom, which is why I moved out at age 21. I was tired of being stifled and restricted, while my brothers could pain the town red.

[Msrxchef]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

And I realize I made it sound like this happens once in a while, but unlike other families out there we have family dinner every night. It's an obligation. If you refuse to attend or cannot attend you're left to feel guilty about it (aka oh you didn't do dinner with us last night so you wash the dishes, or do some other chore to make up for it)

Also remember I lived with these people my entire life. From the day i was born until today which is like 20 years...I come from a first gen immigrant family so there are NO relatives that live in the USA besides my nuclear family. SO yeah...

 

Everyday man. And I was getting real tired of the **** last break I spent with my parents...

just want to graduate, get a job, and get out...

[DannyMason]

Not to worry! Not a problem! They'll be dead and gone soon enough and you will never be plagued with this un-bearable burden ever again forever the rest of your ever-loving days!

 

And then once they're good and gone FOREVER you can truly be alone and to yourself in this World. Because once your parents are gone? You're pretty much on your own!

 

Because these are her only two options, of course. Her parents could either be obnoxious and controlling or dead.

[The Shepherd]

Your parents are just being parents. If and when you are a parent your kids would most probably feel the same about you for sometime. This time will pass and there will be times when you will be more grateful to them.

 

I am sure there are a lot of kids/people in this world that would like to have someone in their life even if it is only to complain about them and would probably be more grateful to them than you are now.

[turnera]

I don't understand why you have dinner with them every night. I take it you don't live at home?

[Msrxchef]

I despise TALKING to my parents.... I get they are being parently but talking to them stresses me out everytime. I don't hate my parents. I don't disregard their advice or commentary. I'm going into a profession my dad is also in.

I just don't like talking with them. It might be a communication barrier, but I honestly think its also the fact my parents get super insecure and sensitive about things. For example, i'm subleasing my friend's apartment and my dad said:"if you don't sign a lease with her [your friend], her [your friend] parents will think you're an ungrateful child and not responsible for yourself".

 

I mean its one thing to say "you should be more responsible and sign a lease with your friend just in case" and one thing to say "your friend's dad will think this and that about you". These are not the only things they say to me. And i've been listening to that **** for 20 years. Getting real tired of it.

 

And do I recognize that some people out there would appreciate having someone to rant about. One of my closest friends lost her mom when she was 14, so I get it. I'm lucky to even have a mom. But sometimes you can't compare situations like that. Just cause I have a mom doesn't mean she's a good one, and doesnt mean she's beneficial to my life. But yeah, I get it, at least I have a mom.

[Msrxchef]

I don't understand why you have dinner with them every night. I take it you don't live at home?

 

This was when I was a minor. I don't live at home now.

[turnera]

OH. Then just don't go over there.

[Nyla]

OP, parents are viewed as people who can do no wrong in this society. When people become parents, they often become self-righteous. Also, sometimes parents like to throw their weight around in an effort to control rather than teach.

 

I have also been told that I am "lucky" to have a mother, but those who say that don't know that my mother was abusive and never appreciated how well behaved I was.

 

Not every mother is a good one.

[UpwardForward]

They rant, they get insecure, they blame others, it's annoying.

 

-My mom is very opinionated. She rants about everything (especially her sister lately).

 

 

Yeah. It's hard, and the concentrated redundancy seems to get worse as time goes on. You become your parent's sounding board or therapist for the continual rants of their past life and feelings of being wronged by practically everyone.

 

But as a child, they told you to: "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone".

[Msrxchef]

Yeah. It's hard, and the concentrated redundancy seems to get worse as time goes on. You become your parent's sounding board or therapist for the continual rants of their past life and feelings of being wronged by practically everyone.

 

But as a child, they told you to: "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone".

 

that makes sense! and so true, i used to get the quote slammed in my face many times i cried due to frustration in front of my family...

[Msrxchef]

again, appreciate your viewpoints everyone. even the ones telling me to grow a bigger pair of balls.

but i guess all i can do is sit and tough it out for now because it won't be eternal. but sometimes when you're just sitting there, it feels like it's going to be eternal and it sucks. i'm focusing on my life for now, my happiness and my future.

 

if anyone has advice on how to "talk" to their ****ed-up parents please comment! (AKA parents who only serve to talk about themselves and what they think of you)

[turnera]

You just keep changing the subject. Don't let them drive the conversation. Turn and talk to someone else.

[HokeyReligions]

You want a solution? Pay back ev ry cent they spent on you since you turned 18 and finish your college on your own and be totally self sufficient. Then take responsibility for another human being.