Rightlymia Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 How long before things fell apart and how long had you been married before it ended in divorce? It seems like a lot of people's marriages haven't been lasting too long. Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 I was married 1 year and had dated for 4 years. I was young and STUPID! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted October 8, 2004 Author Share Posted October 8, 2004 How young is young? Link to post Share on other sites
reservoirdog1 Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I was married 7 years. And the marriage didn't have to fall apart... it was stillborn. And I didn't even find out till after the 7 years. Link to post Share on other sites
Cariel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 About 8 hours (once we'd left the reception). He got that ring on my finger, and I became his property, expected to follow his every decree and satisfy his every whim. If I dared stand up for myself, I was verbally abused into a puddle. We'd dated for 2 years, been engaged for 10 months...and I found myself looking at a complete stranger. It was terrifying. I stuck it out for 6 years trying to "fix" myself and make him happy (living on that old saw that once you get married you stay married). When I left I was down to 89 pounds (I'm 5/4") and was becoming suicidal. The only thing that kept me alive and got me out of there was my son...figured he needed a sane parent to take care of him, and he was the only thing I really cared about at the time. You don't know what kind of a fish you've got 'till you pull it out of the water. Marriage is not a mistake I will make again. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Goddamn...is anyone EVER happy being married?? o_O Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I got married at 19 and it ended in divorce at 21 due to the fact that we were too young (we're still friends) and then I got married at 22 and am still happily married. We have a daughter that is 2 and we have a wonderful marriage. We get along and do not fight. We haven't had an argument in at least a month. We are soulmates Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 some of these stories are blowing my mind. I guess you don't really know someone until you marry them and see how they respond to you.Sorry about all the Cariel but good thing you are out of that awful situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Grinning Maniac Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 *slight sigh of relief* So, how old are you now supermom? (pm me if you're one of those types shy about their age ) Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Originally posted by Rightlymia How young is young? It varies for everyone. I was 18 and that was TOO YOUNG!!!!!!! at least for me. Link to post Share on other sites
only1life Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Married at 22. At 47 I got the worst surprise of my life from her. Now, 6 weeks later, I feel like our marriage has been started all over again as we work to rebuild. Worth it? Well, 90% of our marriage was wonderful. 9% was difficult. And 1% totally sucked! I'm not one to let 1% ruin the other 90%, so here we go! That 90% is well worth recovery! Link to post Share on other sites
Cathalain Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 How long before things fell apart and how long had you been married before it ended in divorce? It seems like a lot of people's marriages haven't been lasting too long. I feel like I've had the shortest marriage on record. I dated my ex-husband for 3 years, got married in October of 2000. The marriage was over by August of 2001. A grand total of.... (counting backwards)... 10 months. The second that I said "I do", I knew it was a mistake. It was a case of "taking a good friendship a little too far". Luckily, we're still friends to this day, even if it's a little... strained. -cath. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Ever heard of the 7-year itch? That's when it started to go bad. Actually, it was never that good, but it was 7 years when I realized it wasn't that good. Now it's been almost 13 years and ready to call it quits. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayman Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 You know what's messed up is most people hear are saying they were too young . But I got a girlfriend I'v been with 2 1/2 years living together and this past summer she started sneeking around with a 17 year old she's 29 . How do you tell a person like her that look this is a sex and adventure thing for him and to a lesser degree for her . This is the first time in her life that a guy has liked her that she worked with . I'll be truthful she's not the best looking woman by any one's standards . But I lover her for who shhe is not her look's . It seems that she's trying to relive her past . She was never asked to any dance or her prom . What's sad is that she has messed up our relationship and still seem's to want to stay stuck on stupid . Well like the song say's (make a new plan stan ) or ( I got to start a new life ) The TV show I work for is going national and she could not have picked the more perfect time to screw up . I might be older than her but this has opened up a whole new world for me . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted October 15, 2004 Author Share Posted October 15, 2004 Be thankful you didn't marry her! A 29 yr old women has no business being with a 17 yr old. That goes for these guys too. The ones who like young girls. It's kinda disgusting. Link to post Share on other sites
Jayman Posted October 17, 2004 Share Posted October 17, 2004 Rightlymia , You are so wright . Rightlymia , I won't even think of dating any woman under 25 just for the maturity thing . So I think to my self what the hell could she think she's going to get beside's sex from a seventeen year old ???? My soon to be x is six years younger then I . I'm 35 .Not 12 year's younger like the kid she was sucking face with at work Wensday she tells me that she's thinking of ending it with me . I feel mixed but yet good . I'm playing it cool for the cheep rent . She want's to go to a shrink . She also suffer's from obsessive compulsive disorder . She need's to get back on her med's . If she think's this is going to get me to forget the 17 year old thing "NOT" . I won't even talk about the other crap she's been putting me thru .... In my head I see my foot on her ass and pushing her out the door of my life . I look up and think how many single mother's would not want a nice man in there life who work's on a children's TV show ??? I'm sure a few Link to post Share on other sites
Author Rightlymia Posted October 22, 2004 Author Share Posted October 22, 2004 I'm glad you see the light Jayman..haha Link to post Share on other sites
lostgirl26 Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 I have known my husband for 7 yrs, married 5, knew I was in a big mess at year 2 of the marriage. Too long to repost, if you want to know the details http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t48763/ check that post. At this post we kind of live like roomates that say they love each other. To an extent thats true I do still love him, but I really don't see much future left with him. He is older and already set in his ways, and I think I deserve better. He is not a bad person, just irresponsible. I am still having a very hard time deciding what to do, the worst abuse is emotional abuse is not as apparent and makes it harder to leave. Sometimes I wish he would cheat, or try to hit me or something, I would be gone in a heartbeat. Link to post Share on other sites
Barby Posted October 22, 2004 Share Posted October 22, 2004 I was married almost 3 years and have been seperated 3 years. I met my (soon to be ex-husband) when I was 16, we dated a bit but I kept it casual, we got serious when I was 17 and married when I was 19. Seperated when I was 21 and now I'm seeking a divorce. My reason for ending this is because he was an abusive alcoholic who was very loving and kind to me during the week (his sober time) but on the weekend turned into the "devil" or so it seemed. He would drink 3- 1gallon containers of bacardi per day (fri, sat, and have some hidden for sun) he would wake up out of sleep talking some weird language (apart from spanish, english, he spoke an indian type of language he was mexican-indian). Then he'd start beating on me, sometimes it would happen while he was awake, he'd hide knifes under the bed and threaten me with them, basically he was nuts. I stayed with him so long because I feared him and it was easier to "keep track" of him and where he was (so he wasn't stalking me cuz he did everytime we split he'd sleep in my garage w/out me knowing, or hide and watch me from behind and stalk my family as well) he always threatened to kill me, his favorite line sober or not was "once this marriage ends, so does your life" and he was serious I'd seen how mean he could become so I didn't trust him plus the police wouldn't do anything. Long story short I ended the marriage once our relationship began to spiral out of control into drug abuse (coke) and him drinking more and more, finally one day I packed his things and sent him on his way (i had no idea he was sooo sh*t faced drunk again it was only 11am). I gave him the car keys and asked him to leave (again I HAD NO idea he had been drinking I was asleep and woke up and saw him glassy eyed but he was talking clear, acting normal) well I just had enough of him talking mean so I told him to go.....he took the keys and the car with his clothes in the trunk, and made it to the stop sign and by the time I got to the driveway he'd crashed into an "auto-body" shop and a car, he went to jail to "sober up" and the car got impounded, I met him at the jail with a payed for bus ticket to leave town to stay with his family in another town, took him to the bus and waited until it left (to be sure he stayed on it) then sighed a breath of relief and moved on. It hurt me to see him crying and begging me to take him back but I couldn't and wouldn't. He turned from begging to threatening violence to again threatening myself and my family so I moved away so he wouldn't know where I was and thank Gawd to this day I've never seen him again. As sick as this sounds at times I miss the "good him" I found letters I didn't know he'd written me about how much he loved me and needed me, ect...times like that reading those words makes me sad and sick inside at the same time that I could miss someone like that but in my heart of hearts I know that NOTHING could ever make me take him back. Since I moved and had NC that's what's helped me be strong not to "go back once more" and moving on to another relationship which ended not long ago after almost 2 years but we're friends now and don't know if we'll end up back together or not.... Basically I was way tooo young and should have waited and been "sure" who he was before I married him even though after 3 years I thought I knew him... Link to post Share on other sites
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