How to rope in a highly-desired man

[daisybuchanan55]

I see a lot of threads on here about how to rope in highly-desired, attractive women. My question now is how a woman can capture the sustained attention from a highly-desired man?

 

In my experience it is harder to get a guy's attention because men are traditionally the pursuers; the ones doing the chasing. I think this is just biological and something that can't be changed. If a man wants a woman he will go after her and there really isn't much a girl can do. If she makes the first move or shows too much enthusiasm or interest, he is instantly turned off! Again, this is just MY experience.

 

Highly-desired men rarely have to do "work" because girls throw themselves at them. Therefore, they get used to doing nothing and just sit back and wait for the women to come to them.

 

I'm curious to hear any and all opinions on how to deal with guys like this. I am all ears!

[Inexperienced85]

What does highly-desired man means? That many other women find him attractive too? Can't you just feel attracted on your own accord and not just follow others like a sheeple?

[mesmerized]

Usually you have to be just as desirable, if not more. Men can be ugly, have not much going on for them and still get a desirable woman because women in general are less shallow and calculating and driven by their emotions. But a highly desirable man who is chased after all the time usually won't settle for anything less. Most men don't feel the need to have someone like women do, they play the field until the best comes along.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I see a lot of threads on here about how to rope in highly-desired, attractive women. My question now is how a woman can capture the sustained attention from a highly-desired man?

 

In my experience it is harder to get a guy's attention because men are traditionally the pursuers; the ones doing the chasing. I think this is just biological and something that can't be changed. If a man wants a woman he will go after her and there really isn't much a girl can do. If she makes the first move or shows too much enthusiasm or interest, he is instantly turned off! Again, this is just MY experience.

 

Highly-desired men rarely have to do "work" because girls throw themselves at them. Therefore, they get used to doing nothing and just sit back and wait for the women to come to them.

 

I'm curious to hear any and all opinions on how to deal with guys like this. I am all ears!

 

Very true. I have always contended that hot men actually have it better than hot women.

 

I noticed you mentioned 'sustained' attention. So, you are aware that average women can get sex from hot guys but not always necessarily a relationship. Well, this is not necessarily bad. Because men are attracted to a much wider range than women are, it's likely you land within his 'wheelhouse', even if he is objectively more attractive.

 

Just show the best of your personality and cross your fingers.

[xxoo]

Inspire him to fall in love with you.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Usually you have to be just as desirable, if not more. Men can be ugly, have not much going on for them and still get a desirable woman because women in general are less shallow and calculating and driven by their emotions. But a highly desirable man who is chased after all the time usually won't settle for anything less. Most men don't feel the need to have someone like women do, they play the field until the best comes along.

 

Men can be AVERAGE and possibly land a desirable woman if they come with a ton of status and game. Ugly won't get it done unless they are filthy, filthy rich.

 

People are still people. And get attached. So, an average woman has a much higher chance of having sex with a hot guy than an average man does with a hot woman. After the sex, if you have a good personality, he might keep you around.

 

Of course, the main problem is you'll have to contend with other women chasing after him all the time once he's with you. That's the real issue. And one I really don't have an answer for.

[daisybuchanan55]

Very true. I have always contended that hot men actually have it better than hot women.

 

I noticed you mentioned 'sustained' attention. So, you are aware that average women can get sex from hot guys but not always necessarily a relationship. Well, this is not necessarily bad. Because men are attracted to a much wider range than women are, it's likely you land within his 'wheelhouse', even if he is objectively more attractive.

 

Just show the best of your personality and cross your fingers.

 

This!! 100%! You hit on the nail on the head with this post.

 

Yes, hot, accomplished men have it ten times better than hot women in my opinion. Compare Ryan Gosling or Bradley Cooper to Jennifer Aniston or Mila Kunis. Yes, I know these are extreme examples, but I think celebrities are interesting case studies because it is absolutely INSANE that anyone as beautiful or rich as either of those two ladies would have problems in their love lives. The men on the other hand seem to be coasting along just fine. When was the last time you heard of a famous man being dumped by his super-sexy wife/girlfriend? I can't think of one example! It always seems to be the woman getting dumped.

 

Yes, "sustained" was in there for a reason. Personally I have no problem getting attention from what I would consider accomplished, attractive men. Or maybe even just accomplished. My last "fling" for example, was with a guy who, if he were just a regular guy walking down the street, would probably be considered kind of ugly or goofy looking. But he is a pro athlete and therefore has never had trouble getting dates.

 

I honestly think the only way to get a good-looking and/or accomplished man to commit to anything/give you attention is to ALWAYS remain just one step out of their grip. This sounds like complete game-playing and it probably is, but more than anything, it's exhausting. Then again, it's also exciting, and when you like someone, what are you supposed to do?

[mesmerized]

Men can be AVERAGE and possibly land a desirable woman if they come with a ton of status and game. Ugly won't get it done unless they are filthy, filthy rich.

 

People are still people. And get attached. So, an average woman has a much higher chance of having sex with a hot guy than an average man does with a hot woman. After the sex, if you have a good personality, he might keep you around.

 

Of course, the main problem is you'll have to contend with other women chasing after him all the time once he's with you. That's the real issue. And one I really don't have an answer for.

 

Somedude isn't rich, nor does he have any status or game and he is claiming the woman he is with now is attractive and desirable. So yeah, it happens, more often than you'd like to admit.

 

And desirable men don't get attached with sex. They get tons of sex. When they're with you, they usually already have made their mind up about what they want you for or we would hear more stories about FWBs and one night stands turning into relationships/marriages.

[KatZee]

Hm, well, I'm just going to have to go with "be yourself." Don't try to be like THOSE women who see a hot guy and immediately have drenched panties and throw themselves at them.

 

I feel like a good looking guy is pretty much EXPECTING this to happen. Be unpredictable and DON'T act that way. I'm not saying play games, but be a bit aloof. I mean after all he's JUST a guy. He's not a god, and underneath the good looks he's just like every other guy. So treat him as such.

 

Show him you're not just into him for his looks but be interested in HIM. Have a conversation, smile, be engaging, be cool.

 

I met the current guy I'm talking to at a single's event. My friend and I went for giggles and we walked up to the bar and all of a sudden I'm standing next to him. He turns, looks at me, and I just started a conversation.

 

He's very good looking, and there were tons of girls coming up to him trying to talk to him. And it was hilarious because when a bunch of girls would come by, he would actually introduce ME to them. I got a couple befuddled looks and some stank eye. Like why are you introducing me to this chick, I want to talk to YOU!

 

So we wound up casually talking the whole night. Out of everyone there, he stuck by me. Pretty much every other woman there was acting like these guys were some sort of superhuman life form, they were going gaga with stars in their eyes, asking stupid stereotypical questions, and it was clear most were only there for the novelty of who these guys were.

 

Meanwhile the guy I was talking to were just shooting the s.hit about sports, movies, etc. We then wound up dancing the rest of the night, and when it was time to go I was the one who walked away with his number, and I was the one who 40 minutes later, was asked out on a date.

 

We've been on 3 dates so far.

 

Score 1 for me.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Somedude isn't rich, nor does he have any status or game and he is claiming the woman he is with now is attractive and desirable. So yeah, it happens, more often than you'd like to admit.

 

And desirable men don't get attached with sex. They get tons of sex. When they're with you, they usually already have made their mind up about what they want you for or we would hear more stories about FWBs and one night stands turning into relationships/marriages.

 

I bet you almost anything that subjectively they are around the same level of attractiveness. I've seen pictures of women he finds very attractive. They are average to cute in the grand scheme of things. And how many women did he get rejected by to get her? But I digress. This has been covered ad nauseum.

 

People get attached not by sex necessarily but just by being with someone. Even hot guys are human beings. And guys have a huge range of attractiveness. So, if you have attractiveness and personality, you might have a shot. Not every guy wants the absolute best he can get.

 

I will also say it depends on the age of the guy. When in my 20s, almost all of my desirable male friends cheated on their GFs at one time or another. Even the ones who were 'good' guys. But if you happen to strike at the right time, say when he's early 30s and ready to settle, he might be done with that and there you are.

[daisybuchanan55]

...which is why I've tried both these tactics:

 

1. Holding off on sex for as long as possible/until commitment

 

2. If I have sex, trying to remain as unemotional/unattrached as possible, which tends to throw off their game as they are used to women falling all over them/trying to cuddle/etc. The problem with this is that you aren't being "authentic" with your emotions, but sometimes it's worth it because then the guy ends up falling for you. This takes SO MUCH patience, though.

[daisybuchanan55]

I agree that "striking" at the right time is the key. I struck at the WRONG time with a guy I was seeing last year. It is true that most desirable men in their 20's will cheat. It's a shame but I guess the best way to avoid it is to go for older men who are past that period in their life.

[mesmerized]

This thread totally shows how women need some kind of PUA too. Landing a desirable man is not an easy thing!

[Inexperienced85]

...which is why I've tried both these tactics:

 

1. Holding off on sex for as long as possible/until commitment

 

2. If I have sex, trying to remain as unemotional/unattrached as possible, which tends to throw off their game as they are used to women falling all over them/trying to cuddle/etc. The problem with this is that you aren't being "authentic" with your emotions, but sometimes it's worth it because then the guy ends up falling for you. This takes SO MUCH patience, though.

 

What's the deal with using sex as manipulation tool? Guy can always masturbate to get off and he doesn't need a woman for it.

[KatZee]

This thread totally shows how women need some kind of PUA too. Landing a desirable man is not an easy thing!

 

It's really not rocket science. If you're looking for a desirable man, and you're looking for something serious, there is no need to take tips off a PUA site. Mature men looking to settle aren't looking for stupid games. Good looking or not.

[blueskyday]

I've dated many attractive men who I thought were out of my league. For me, it seemed like they wanted a connection and wanted to date a woman who they could talk to. Sure, there we're some jerks who wanted sex only, but I didn't concern myself with guys like that no matter how successful they were otherwise. I think that's the key. I qualified all guys and didn't let their looks or money figure much into it. So, have fun, treat all guys with respect, and never forget you are the prize!

[JuneJulySeptember]

This thread totally shows how women need some kind of PUA too. Landing a desirable man is not an easy thing!

 

My heart bleeds for you.

[Revolver]

For LTR's? Be attractive.

 

Those guys have their pick and they pick the from the best when it's time to settle down. If its just sex, lots of average and below average women can sleep with these guys. I mean look at most groupies

[daisybuchanan55]

Mesmerized, I've toyed with the idea of writing a PUA book for girls. Every single book out there for women focuses on "being yourself" and basically waiting for the man to pursue you.

 

If I did this I would never have met/dated half the awesome guys I have.

 

I have tried A LOT of tactics and, because we're on an anonymous forum, I can say without fearing judgment and just for the context of this post that I am what most men would consider very attractive, but I didn't get that way by accident. It's crazy that pretty girls have to use "tactics" but trust me, every woman you see with a man who you would want to date 9/10 times did something deliberate to make that man notice her.

 

Everything from personal grooming to putting yourself in the right situation to knowing how to properly deal with a highly-desired man is what makes certain girls successful and other girls left scratching their heads. I've spent years observing what the 10's of the world do and I feel like I'm FINALLY almost there...I have made SOOO MANY mistakes, had many successes, and feel like sharing this info would be helpful to many girls.

[mesmerized]

Mesmerized, I've toyed with the idea of writing a PUA book for girls. Every single book out there for women focuses on "being yourself" and basically waiting for the man to pursue you.

 

If I did this I would never have met/dated half the awesome guys I have.

 

I have tried A LOT of tactics and, because we're on an anonymous forum, I can say without fearing judgment and just for the context of this post that I am what most men would consider very attractive, but I didn't get that way by accident. It's crazy that pretty girls have to use "tactics" but trust me, every woman you see with a man who you would want to date 9/10 times did something deliberate to make that man notice her.

 

Everything from personal grooming to putting yourself in the right situation to knowing how to properly deal with a highly-desired man is what makes certain girls successful and other girls left scratching their heads. I've spent years observing what the 10's of the world do and I feel like I'm FINALLY almost there...I have made SOOO MANY mistakes, had many successes, and feel like sharing this info would be helpful to many girls.

 

Oh trust me I know that!! In this day and age, being pretty and standing in a corner does NOT cut it. I've been looking for good advice for women for a long time and I rarely come across anything good. You'll find that most women on this forum are too insecure and passive to go for desirable men...They stick with men less attractive than them that don't need work. If you do have advice, my PM box is always open for you and I'm all ears!

[blueskyday]

Give us some tips! But I think it's simple. Look pretty. Be intelligent. Be friendly and warm. Be kind. Show interest, but don't go overboard. Be sincere. Find out who the man is really. Deeper down. Have fun. Share who you are.

[daisybuchanan55]

I have a ridiculously good looking friend and I once nearly pissed myself when I heard him tell his then girlfriend that she needed to stop playing games because:

 

"Im going to have sex tonight, I'd like it to be with you but if it isn't, I'll get mine somewhere else"

 

You can't use sex as tool when it comes to a desirable man, he can just go outside and get his fix.

 

I don't agree with using sex against a partner to get what you want but that guy sounds like a complete d-bag and someone I would never want to be involved with.

 

Is that what he's going to do every time she makes him mad? Go out and have sex with someone else?

 

Wow, sounds like a really mature guy! How about trying to work through the issue in a respectful way instead of pouting your over to some other chick?

[JuneJulySeptember]

I would add that if you have a lot money, it would help.

 

This is the year 2013 and more men are accepting that women can be the breadwinner. If you can bring home the bacon, and he can keep his crappy little low paying job and write his poetry or paint watercolors on the side, then that is a very favorable situation for him.

[KatZee]

Oh trust me I know that!! In this day and age, being pretty and standing in a corner does NOT cut it. I've been looking for good advice for women for a long time and I rarely come across anything good. You'll find that most women on this forum are too insecure and passive to go for desirable men...They stick with men less attractive than them that don't need work. If you do have advice, my PM box is always open for you and I'm all ears!

 

Oh you most certainly are right. I'll go back to my single's event example. I went with my friend who is definitely a good looking girl. Some would say she's hotter than me, and that's fine.

 

Not ONE guy came up to her, and she doesn't extend herself to anyone. She just sat there the whole night. The guy I met brought a few of his buddies over and she started talking to one of them, but every time he was like, "let me buy you a drink" or "lets go dance" it was all "no no no!" And she was the cute girl in the corner really not engaging in anyone, not carrying a conversation.

 

She's been single 3 years now and is always complaining she can't get a guy, I went out the same night as her and am now seeing this guy. Being passive, and expecting the guy to lead the entire thing isn't how things work, and the woman has to be somewhat aggressive.

[Revolver]

I think the reason there's no "PUA" for girls because there's a general idea that women can't make guys like them they kinda already have to be attracted to them.

 

When you look at most women's dating advice, its almost always about picking from the guys who already interested or keeping the interest of the man you already have.