How to rope in a highly-desired man

[hppr]

That sounds about like my girlfriend although she doesn't get pedi/manicures etc and she has a natural 'tan' since she's part mexican/filipino/puerto rican (something).

 

Guys complain about makeup but girls do it because it works, especially facial makeup. Huge difference if done right.

 

I wouldn't say most women have dyed hair though, maybe in your part of Socal where every broad under 25 (even the mexican chicks) is a "natural blond" but most places the haircolor you see up top is what you get down below.

[Woggle]

You guys make me LAUGH!!!

 

I wish I could show you a picture of myself. You'd look at me and call me VERY "natural."

 

Men are so naive sometimes. Even the most "natural" women spend time on their appearance. Let's take two basic tenets of attractiveness: a good body and a nice tan. Not a gross tan...just a nice glow.

 

To maintain my body, I work out four-five times a week. I'd maintain this is a pretty serious commitment.

 

Now, unless you're dating someone who is constantly outside, her tan is probably either a fake bake or the result of some sort of self-tanning product. Maintaining this is relatively time-consuming.

 

Now let's talk about hair. Do you know how much time/money goes into maintaining highlights? MOST women have dyed hair.

 

My "everyday" makeup routine takes five-ten minutes. When I go out at night I spend longer on my hair and makeup.

 

When I know I have a big date, I usually take 1.5 hours to get ready so I can go slow and enjoy the process.

 

And don't forget about things like mani/pedi, brows, waxing etc!

 

So, next time you see a woman and think how beautiful and natural she looks, think again. It takes time to look good unless you are a professional female surfer, which so far are the ONLY breed of women I've found who look fantastic ALL the time with very little effort. Oh, and even Alana Blanchard wears waterproof eyeliner!

 

I don't doubt that women put a lot of effort into looking good but good looks are from the only thing that matters to quality men. Also my wife looks beautiful when she first gets up in the morning. She really does.

[Roadkill007]

Unless you live in LA. Over there' date=' if your face isn't a Botox wax-museum nightmare with fish lips, you look out of place. Narcissism, shallowness and insecurity are de rigueur.[/quote']

 

Maybe it's time to get out of LA. I must be honest and say it isn't on my type places I would want to move. It just seems like such a shallow place.

 

 

Eck. LA. I wouldn't move there even if you paid me. No wonder OP is after the men she's after. I could easily walk the Venice Beach pier and pick girls and ask them "what do you want out of a man" and they'd regurgitate the same dribble OP has. "Highly-desired" "more interested in me than I am in him" "CEO" "actor". Etc. It doesn't mean anything. None of it means anything. Girls over there are pretty much socialized into game-playing.

 

What's with all the LA bashing? There's plenty of non-shallow interesting great women here. You just have to know where to look. Or be lucky like me .

 

 

 

There are 30million people down there (half of them Mexi Nationals, !Arriba!). It's a big place and if you don't like one part, find another part that suits you better. All chicks down there aren't plastic bimbos.

 

thank you, I was getting a bit freaked out here. And yea, LA is a pretty big and diverse city(well, county, but w/e), so depending on where you go, you'll meet all kinds of people. Just don't goto Watts... you'll get shot for real

[2sure]

This!! 100%! You hit on the nail on the head with this post.

 

Yes, hot, accomplished men have it ten times better than hot women in my opinion. Compare Ryan Gosling or Bradley Cooper to Jennifer Aniston or Mila Kunis. Yes, I know these are extreme examples, but I think celebrities are interesting case studies because it is absolutely INSANE that anyone as beautiful or rich as either of those two ladies would have problems in their love lives. The men on the other hand seem to be coasting along just fine. When was the last time you heard of a famous man being dumped by his super-sexy wife/girlfriend? I can't think of one example! It always seems to be the woman getting dumped.

 

Yes, "sustained" was in there for a reason. Personally I have no problem getting attention from what I would consider accomplished, attractive men. Or maybe even just accomplished. My last "fling" for example, was with a guy who, if he were just a regular guy walking down the street, would probably be considered kind of ugly or goofy looking. But he is a pro athlete and therefore has never had trouble getting dates.

 

I honestly think the only way to get a good-looking and/or accomplished man to commit to anything/give you attention is to ALWAYS remain just one step out of their grip. This sounds like complete game-playing and it probably is, but more than anything, it's exhausting. Then again, it's also exciting, and when you like someone, what are you supposed to do?

 

The "trick" in my experience, to sustaining their interest, isn't really a "trick " at all . And you nailed it...almost. Remaining one step out of their grip is the way it's done...but it can't be a game playing thing. You have to sincerely be thinking " eh, maybe, maybe not". That's what seals the deal .

[man_in_the_box]

I see a lot of threads on here about how to rope in highly-desired, attractive women.

 

What board have you been reading?

[Pompeii]

You guys make me LAUGH!!!

 

I wish I could show you a picture of myself. You'd look at me and call me VERY "natural."

 

Men are so naive sometimes. Even the most "natural" women spend time on their appearance. Let's take two basic tenets of attractiveness: a good body and a nice tan. Not a gross tan...just a nice glow.

 

To maintain my body, I work out four-five times a week. I'd maintain this is a pretty serious commitment.

 

Now, unless you're dating someone who is constantly outside, her tan is probably either a fake bake or the result of some sort of self-tanning product. Maintaining this is relatively time-consuming.

 

Now let's talk about hair. Do you know how much time/money goes into maintaining highlights? MOST women have dyed hair.

 

My "everyday" makeup routine takes five-ten minutes. When I go out at night I spend longer on my hair and makeup.

 

When I know I have a big date, I usually take 1.5 hours to get ready so I can go slow and enjoy the process.

 

And don't forget about things like mani/pedi, brows, waxing etc!

 

So, next time you see a woman and think how beautiful and natural she looks, think again. It takes time to look good unless you are a professional female surfer, which so far are the ONLY breed of women I've found who look fantastic ALL the time with very little effort. Oh, and even Alana Blanchard wears waterproof eyeliner!

 

Well, that's because you live in that smog radiating puddle of shallowness known as the City of Angels. I live on the other side of the country and I come from an area which girls don't act like that. The girl had I had a crush on isn't tan at all, has no highlights, and wears very little (apparent) makeup. I know a lot of girls do work out (as do I) and I know very little girls that go to tanning salons. I do know a lot of girls from Jersey and they do those things. All in all, most areas of the East Coast have women who realize that it's important to look good, but the women in LA take it to an extreme (and usually unecessary) level.

[hppr]

All in all, most areas of the East Coast have women who realize that it's important to look good, but the women in LA take it to an extreme (and usually unecessary) level.

 

Chicks in NYC, Massachusetts and Jersey are all crazy like that too. The Jersey Guidos take the cake though.

[tbf]

No matter how attractive anyone is, they're still human beings. So treat them as such, people you can or can't relate to.

 

I honestly don't understand this anxiety/intimidation thing when it comes to looks. You're either going to connect with someone or not.

[Suave]

I treat attractive women the same way as anyone else. Politely, but I don't drool or fawn over them at all.

 

Going against the grain does wonders.

[pcplod]

Welcome to today's/this week's/this month's "total weirdness" thread. They pop up like a tornado, just not with anything like the same sort of ramifications.

[Adele0908]

Hmmmmm.

 

I would say confidence. And sexiness. Definitely authenticity.

 

You can't be afraid of your sexuality. You have to own it.

 

Give a little, and pull back. You can't be the clingy type. You have to a woman that really understands men and their needs/desires.

 

And like someone else said here, you have to be a highly-desirable woman yourself. A woman (not a girl) with her own passions and interests.

 

A woman that comes to mind is Angelina Jolie.

[Adele0908]

Most guys won't tell you how to land a high-quality man, especially if they are having a hard time with women themselves.

[HopelessRomantic76]

Try to pretend to be into one of his unattractive friends and go out o na few dates and hang out with him then you can start to hang around the hot guy its an easier way to try to get close to a high status dude without the pressure of having to make a great impression whitin minutes

[tbf]

Most guys won't tell you how to land a high-quality man, especially if they are having a hard time with women themselves.

As a woman, I take issue with the concept of "landing", at least as it relates to emotionally healthy relationships.

[Adele0908]

As a woman, I take issue with the concept of "landing", at least as it relates to emotionally healthy relationships.

 

I get your point, but that's what the OP asked about...how to land/snag/hook a "high-quality" mate.

 

Most people want to catch a big fish anyway. Human nature.

[thatone]

I'm going to be brutally honest here and risk sounding like a horrible human being.

 

For me, the magical top 5% is a man I find attractive (others don't have to), is accomplished in his field, has status/money, is fun to be around, respected, friendly, humble, intelligent, compassionate.

 

Yes, I realize I'm looking for something most people don't think exists, but I've found it multiple times in my life!

 

You have your answer below...

 

You *shouldn't* listen to me if you don't like my advice! I am just giving my view.

 

Being myself is actually working out really well for me. It was the fact that I was completely and utterly myself, where I showed my good and bad points, where I showed my strengths and insecurities that attracted my boyfriend to me. And he's told me as much. He is not jugemental of me. He never throws my weaknesses or insecurities in my face. And because of that, I feel that I can be honest with him. He likes how *real* I am.

 

What is even cooler is that I started working on this before I met him because I was sick and tired of trying to be what other people wanted me to be. So I practiced at being more open and honest about the real things. I used this board to practice that. And I am not just the cheap easy things it's easy to be open and honest about on this board like what kind of sex you are into.

 

Mes, when I was younger, I contorted myself into a person I thought I should be when I was dating. I wasn't really me. I sacrificed things that I shouldn't have because of that. because I was too eager to please rather to be myself. It wasn't very fulfilling. As I have gotten older, I've learned to be more of myself and express who that is whether people like me or not. I've practiced being more open about my weaknesses with others and admitting when i haven't done something well or how I really don't do something well. This use to be really hard for me. It is really a cool feeling when you can just be yourself and someone likes you for it even though it's obvious you are far from perfect. And I am still working on it but I've come a long way.

 

...but you can't learn it with anything but age and experience. DY basically spelled it out for you. Young women too often get obsessed with themselves and their competition to the point that it's who they are. When everything that defines them is their clothes, their hair, their nails, their bikini pictures, and the comparison of whatever man they're latched on to in comparison to the men other women are latched on to, they don't get it. Why would any man they're looking for want to be around them longer than it takes for sex, shower, and leave?

 

When they get over that stuff and do something other than shop for a man, they become more interesting to be around. The ones who never grow up will never be happy.

 

Flip the roles...if you were a woman who had money, status, a high profile career, and the admiration of her peers, would you sign up to spend the rest of your life with a meat-head who did nothing but work out, tan, and wave his penis around when he's told to? Of course you wouldn't. So why do women think that will catch them the man they want?

[tbf]

I get your point, but that's what the OP asked about...how to land/snag/hook a "high-quality" mate.

 

Most people want to catch a big fish anyway. Human nature.

You lay a bait trail that ends in your basement. Ensure that the bait is spiked with knock out drugs so by the time he enters your basement, he's amenable to being chained to the metal loop embedded in the concrete floor.

 

And for chrissakes, don't forget to feed and water him from time to time. I hate unnecessary cruelty.

[DannyMason]

You lay a bait trail that ends in your basement. Ensure that the bait is spiked with knock out drugs so by the time he enters your basement, he's amenable to being chained to the metal loop embedded in the concrete floor.

 

And for chrissakes, don't forget to feed and water him from time to time. I hate unnecessary cruelty.

 

I must be a potential "high-quality" mate because my God, does this turn me on! You'd catch me for sure, OP.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Oh, and for the person asking what makes me desirable...I'll go with what men have told me.

 

I'm light-hearted, laid-back and fun to be around. I'm highly educated and can have an intelligent conversation without busting a guy's balls and making him feel like an idiot. I'm VERY open and friendly to new people/experiences--I will try anything once! I am kind and thoughtful.

 

From your posts, I get the impression that you are very in touch with your "feminine wiles" and how to really work 'em. And that's not a bad thing, IMO.

 

On the more superficial side, I put a lot of effort into my appearance. It takes a lot of work (for every woman, don't believe it if she tells you otherwise!!!) to be what men consider "attractive." With the hours I've logged at the gym/hair salon/doing makeup/etc. I'm sure I could have cured cancer. Not really, but you get the idea. It's just something I've realized HAS to be priority if I want to have a fighting chance at a certain kind of guy.

 

That "certain kind of guy" might be specifically a "superficial type of guy."

 

You might be surprised at what a turn-off all that attention to "prettiness" can be to men. They sure do want to be attracted to you, and a great body is super attractive. But the hair, nails, make up, etc? A lot of guys actually dislike it and are basically not very interested in women who prioritize it.

 

Do you want to be a trophy wife? You better be careful, then. Trophies are upgraded all the time.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Maybe it's time to get out of LA. I must be honest and say it isn't on my type places I would want to move. It just seems like such a shallow place.

 

I lived there for a few years. I found it to be soul destroying and I barely got out alive.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Anyway, the whole concepts of "roping in" and "highly desired" are completely unrelatable to me, personally.

[Woggle]

I lived there for a few years. I found it to be soul destroying and I barely got out alive.

 

I was in San Francisco late last year after Sandy forced us out for a few months and I loved it but I heard LA is a whole different scene. Say what you want about the Northeast but at least it is real. I don't like the direction New York has gone in recently but it is still much better than the whole LA scene.

 

Sorry to go off topic but it seams that places like LA produce this kind of approach to dating that just seems so alien to me.

[It's Just Me]

You guys make me LAUGH!!!

Let's take two basic tenets of attractiveness: a good body and a nice tan. Not a gross tan...just a nice glow.

 

Yup. Like I said, LA standards. Add the 'roping in', 'highly-desired' and 'status/money' and the relentless pursuit of physical perfection to attract a man with the aforementioned "qualities," we've got ourselves the perfect cliché.

 

Best of luck to you, Daisy. You certainly seem very earnest and focused.

[Weezy1973]

If you need to rope someone in, you're doing it wrong.

[Finality338]

...which is why I've tried both these tactics:

 

1. Holding off on sex for as long as possible/until commitment

 

2. If I have sex, trying to remain as unemotional/unattrached as possible, which tends to throw off their game as they are used to women falling all over them/trying to cuddle/etc. The problem with this is that you aren't being "authentic" with your emotions, but sometimes it's worth it because then the guy ends up falling for you. This takes SO MUCH patience, though.

 

I think you're doing it right. Every relationship I have ever been in has been more or less gift wrapped for me, as I have never done any of the initiating. This is my personal experience of course, but I always end up selecting the ones who initially showed interest, then back off and leave me wondering what I did wrong. I don't want to play games or anything it's more of a 'I want what I feel I can't have.'

 

Flash forward to present day and I have no one to talk to because of my ex girlfriend gaining control of me for almost the last two years. Confidence is at an all time low, and I have no clue how to meet people unless they come up to me!

 

Which leads to maybe my only point for the OP, don't be afraid to approach anyone and talk to them. Everyone has a different story under a different set of circumstances.