How to rope in a highly-desired man

[mesmerized]

I think the reason there's no "PUA" for girls because there's a general idea that women can't make guys like them they kinda already have to be attracted to them.

 

When you look at most women's dating advice, its almost always about picking from the guys who already interested or keeping the interest of the man you already have.

 

Meh, just read Katezee's posts about the guy she is dating. She is the one who started a conversation with him and put herself in a situation to be next to him. A high percentage of women these days are not passive and that means more competition and more work if you want to land a good man you desire.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I think the reason there's no "PUA" for girls because there's a general idea that women can't make guys like them they kinda already have to be attracted to them.

 

When you look at most women's dating advice, its almost always about picking from the guys who already interested or keeping the interest of the man you already have.

 

There's already PUA for women. It's called Vogue, 17, Glamour, etc.

 

"How to land that super hottie." Page 15.

 

"How to get that unattractive dweeb off you back." Page 23.

[El Brujo]

I see a lot of threads on here about how to rope in highly-desired, attractive women. My question now is how a woman can capture the sustained attention from a highly-desired man?I am all ears!

 

Genetics has a lot to do with it, but personality and honesty are important too. A woman can be beautiful and act very sweet, but she can still be a liar and a crook through and through.

 

And desirable men don't get attached with sex. They get tons of sex.

 

Of course, a highly attractive man who's straight but openly asexual pretty much explodes this theory...

 

I hate to tell some of you folks, but sex is not the be-all-end-all for some of us... the universe does not revolve around us men's johnnies.

[daisybuchanan55]

Give us some tips! But I think it's simple. Look pretty. Be intelligent. Be friendly and warm. Be kind. Show interest, but don't go overboard. Be sincere. Find out who the man is really. Deeper down. Have fun. Share who you are.

 

These are all good tips but far too generic! I've made a transformation from "average-looking" and insecure to someone who has dated/gotten attention from fascinating entrepreneurs, CEOs, celebrities and professional athletes. This didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen from "being myself." I would hear this over and over and over and it pisses me off because it's such obvious advice yet impossible to follow. Like, what does "being myself" even mean? And what good is being intelligent, friendly and pretty if you don't know how to use those tools to your advantage?

 

If you girls have any questions about getting men to notice you, fire away! I am happy to answer anything in this thread.

 

Just off the top of my head, I can't stress the importance of looks in the ATTRACTION phase. It's REALLY shallow. It's not honorable. But it's the truth. I spend SO MUCH time, effort and money on my appearance and so does any other woman who is landing a "desired" man. I justify this shallowness by the fact that as the relationship deepens, my personality starts (I hope!) to mean just as much/more. I am of the belief that girls who haven't always been "hot" (me!) are at a serious advantage in this category because you had to develop interests, sense of humor, humbleness etc. to get through the period when you weren't getting ANY attention from the opposite sex. Any girl can improve her appearance, but it's a lot harder for a "hot" girl to improve her personality, become more intelligent etc. I think a lot of Hollywood relationships blow up because of this. The guy loves the girl's looks but realizes quickly that that won't sustain a relationship.

 

So, bottom line...my problem is not getting attention from these types of guys. It's the fact that now that I know I can get them, I tend to overlook more "regular" men because they aren't flashy/good enough, or I will overlook certain bad behavior because of their status. That is what I'm working on right now...finding the magic man who is both kind, warm, compassionate, loyal AND accomplished and what I consider good-looking. Like I said in another post, looks don't matter to me as much as a guy being a complete badass. I've dated some unconventional looking people who were accomplished and would much rather have dated them than a "hot" guy who has nothing going for him.

[StanMusial]

These are all good tips but far too generic! I've made a transformation from "average-looking" and insecure to someone who has dated/gotten attention from fascinating entrepreneurs, CEOs, celebrities and professional athletes. This didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen from "being myself." I would hear this over and over and over and it pisses me off because it's such obvious advice yet impossible to follow. Like, what does "being myself" even mean? And what good is being intelligent, friendly and pretty if you don't know how to use those tools to your advantage?

 

If you girls have any questions about getting men to notice you, fire away! I am happy to answer anything in this thread.

 

Just off the top of my head, I can't stress the importance of looks in the ATTRACTION phase. It's REALLY shallow. It's not honorable. But it's the truth. I spend SO MUCH time, effort and money on my appearance and so does any other woman who is landing a "desired" man. I justify this shallowness by the fact that as the relationship deepens, my personality starts (I hope!) to mean just as much/more. I am of the belief that girls who haven't always been "hot" (me!) are at a serious advantage in this category because you had to develop interests, sense of humor, humbleness etc. to get through the period when you weren't getting ANY attention from the opposite sex. Any girl can improve her appearance, but it's a lot harder for a "hot" girl to improve her personality, become more intelligent etc. I think a lot of Hollywood relationships blow up because of this. The guy loves the girl's looks but realizes quickly that that won't sustain a relationship.

 

So, bottom line...my problem is not getting attention from these types of guys. It's the fact that now that I know I can get them, I tend to overlook more "regular" men because they aren't flashy/good enough, or I will overlook certain bad behavior because of their status. That is what I'm working on right now...finding the magic man who is both kind, warm, compassionate, loyal AND accomplished and what I consider good-looking. Like I said in another post, looks don't matter to me as much as a guy being a complete badass. I've dated some unconventional looking people who were accomplished and would much rather have dated them than a "hot" guy who has nothing going for him.

 

You seem like the type that would go for guys you saw with other girls whether you liked the guys or not.

[daisybuchanan55]

You seem like the type that would go for guys you saw with other girls whether you liked the guys or not.

 

 

What do you mean?

[Revolver]

There's already PUA for women. It's called Vogue, 17, Glamour, etc.

 

"How to land that super hottie." Page 15.

 

"How to get that unattractive dweeb off you back." Page 23.

 

Yeah but even in those the VAST majority of advice given is about guys who are already interested, Or a man who your in a relationship with currently. "50 ways to please YOUR man" etc

 

PUA is about the ability to pick up women even those who are on the fence about you or aren't interested initially. Plus women don't do the picking up or approaching, men do.

[hudson701]

 

Highly-desired men rarely have to do "work" because girls throw themselves at them. Therefore, they get used to doing nothing and just sit back and wait

 

This does not happen in real life. High quality, Attractive females never approach men, no matter how desirable they may be. It is the females that simply sit back and wait.

[ThaWholigan]

This does not happen in real life. High quality, Attractive females never approach men, no matter how desirable they may be. It is the females that simply sit back and wait.

are you sure you're from London?

[StanMusial]

This does not happen in real life. High quality, Attractive females never approach men, no matter how desirable they may be. It is the females that simply sit back and wait.

 

The "high quality" part is up for debate, but attractive women will approach men they are attracted to.

[crude]

 

In my experience it is harder to get a guy's attention because men are traditionally the pursuers; the ones doing the chasing. I think this is just biological and something that can't be changed.

 

Highly-desired men rarely have to do "work" because girls throw themselves at them. Therefore, they get used to doing nothing and just sit back and wait for the women to come to them.

 

 

Did you just contradict yourself? Men are the pursuers and do the chasing, it's biological and nothing can change that. Then, women pursue highly desired men and throw themselves at them. Biology appears to have been altered in 1 line!

Just be the best you can be, as successful financially as you can, keep yourself clean and in shape, men don't really go for perfection, just a woman who takes care of herself, and have a decent personality. If you have lots going for you and are nice to a man, you'll have a decent chance at getting the attention of a top quality guy. No guarantee it'll last, but chances improved.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

I have an 11" penis.

 

Gets in the way while your typing doesn't it.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Yeah but even in those the VAST majority of advice given is about guys who are already interested, Or a man who your in a relationship with currently. "50 ways to please YOUR man" etc

 

PUA is about the ability to pick up women even those who are on the fence about you or aren't interested initially. Plus women don't do the picking up or approaching, men do.

 

There are articles about how to flirt though. That's womens way of asking men out. Sorta.

 

Flirting 101: The Dos and Don'ts of Getting Guys to Notice You: Sex, Love & Life: glamour.com

 

I mean this thread is about women who don't want their options but want better, so I guess it's kinda comparable to PUA. But in reality, PUA is a $ making scheme targeted at completely struggling men.

 

Found this article. It's so cute.

 

How to Get a Boyfriend: 17 Steps - wikiHow

[Disenchantedly Yours]

OP, what do you consider a "highly desirable man". There are lots of sports players and rock stars that some women may define as highly desirable but they aren't very monogomous, kind, generous in the right ways, moral..... Just look at all those "house wife" shows. I don't watch them myself but unfortunetly you do hear about them and you do hear about these women who are injected and surgically "enhanced" into perfection wearing expensive clothes and dripping in diamonds and their husbands are douchebags.

 

I know it sounds cliche but be yourself. And instead of worrying about attracting a man, worry about him proving his worth to you.

 

Ironically, I am also going to give you advice about living in cliches. There are a lot of them made in this thread about men and women. You can live in a cliche and it will probably become true because you choose to live in it. Or you can live outside the mold and instead make that your reality. If that makes sense to you....

[mesmerized]

Yeah but even in those the VAST majority of advice given is about guys who are already interested, Or a man who your in a relationship with currently. "50 ways to please YOUR man" etc

 

PUA is about the ability to pick up women even those who are on the fence about you or aren't interested initially. Plus women don't do the picking up or approaching, men do.

 

Maybe where you live. I see it happening where I live all the time and also in the online dating world.

[mesmerized]

OP, what do you consider a "highly desirable man". There are lots of sports players and rock stars that some women may define as highly desirable but they aren't very monogomous, kind, generous in the right ways, moral..... Just look at all those "house wife" shows. I don't watch them myself but unfortunetly you do hear about them and you do hear about these women who are injected and surgically "enhanced" into perfection wearing expensive clothes and dripping in diamonds and their husbands are douchebags.

 

I know it sounds cliche but be yourself. And instead of worrying about attracting a man, worry about him proving his worth to you.

 

Ironically, I am also going to give you advice about living in cliches. There are a lot of them made in this thread about men and women. You can live in a cliche and it will probably become true because you choose to live in it. Or you can live outside the mold and instead make that your reality. If that makes sense to you....

 

And why should we listen to you? How has being yourself been working out for you?

[daisybuchanan55]

This does not happen in real life. High quality, Attractive females never approach men, no matter how desirable they may be. It is the females that simply sit back and wait.

 

YES, it happens all the time. Constantly!

 

If the guy is less attractive, he is either afraid to approach for fear of rejection or will approach in a completely un-cool way, thus diminishing his chances.

 

If the guy is desirable, he will wait to be introduced, wait for the girl to approach him, or wait for a sign that she is open to talking.

 

I find that I often have to give a guy an "opening" to approach me. The most effective thing I do is entirely non-verbal and extremely underrated. Just looking at a man BRIEFLY with seductive eyes (you have to practice or this will look utterly bizarre!) and smiling, then looking away, is often enough to get the guy to come over and talk.

 

Another opening I've had success with is putting myself in close proximity to the man and saying something vague about our surroundings or the situation. You can tell instantly if the guy is into the conversation/into you. Talking to surround friends of his also works like a charm.

 

But during all of this, you have to remain SEXY. There are lots of ways to be sexy but one surefire way to turn a man off is to be aggressive, loud, brash etc.

 

You CANNOT stand in the corner, aloof. Very few men will approach.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Maybe where you live. I see it happening where I live all the time and also in the online dating world.

 

Unsuccessful men often fabricate the idea that 'women don't approach men' so they have an excuse as to why no woman has approached them for 20, 30, or 50 years of their life.

 

The truth is women do approach tons and it just sucks to be you (or me).

[StanMusial]

YES, it happens all the time. Constantly!

 

If the guy is less attractive, he is either afraid to approach for fear of rejection or will approach in a completely un-cool way, thus diminishing his chances.

 

If the guy is desirable, he will wait to be introduced, wait for the girl to approach him, or wait for a sign that she is open to talking.

 

I find that I often have to give a guy an "opening" to approach me. The most effective thing I do is entirely non-verbal and extremely underrated. Just looking at a man BRIEFLY with seductive eyes (you have to practice or this will look utterly bizarre!) and smiling, then looking away, is often enough to get the guy to come over and talk.

 

Another opening I've had success with is putting myself in close proximity to the man and saying something vague about our surroundings or the situation. You can tell instantly if the guy is into the conversation/into you. Talking to surround friends of his also works like a charm.

 

But during all of this, you have to remain SEXY. There are lots of ways to be sexy but one surefire way to turn a man off is to be aggressive, loud, brash etc.

 

You CANNOT stand in the corner, aloof. Very few men will approach.

 

:lmao::lmao:

 

Anyone still have that Tom Brady video from SNL?

 

This thread made my day, for reals.

[ChessPieceFace]

I see a lot of threads on here about how to rope in highly-desired, attractive women. My question now is how a woman can capture the sustained attention from a highly-desired man?

 

In my experience it is harder to get a guy's attention because men are traditionally the pursuers; the ones doing the chasing. I think this is just biological and something that can't be changed. If a man wants a woman he will go after her and there really isn't much a girl can do. If she makes the first move or shows too much enthusiasm or interest, he is instantly turned off! Again, this is just MY experience.

 

Highly-desired men rarely have to do "work" because girls throw themselves at them. Therefore, they get used to doing nothing and just sit back and wait for the women to come to them.

 

I'm curious to hear any and all opinions on how to deal with guys like this. I am all ears!

 

Yeah I'll bother posting this again.

 

How about finding more value in some of the guys you've undervalued and overlooked, instead of being a walking stereotype of modern womanhood, collectively chasing after the top 5% of the male population and whining about how you can't "rope in a highly-desired man"?

[Disenchantedly Yours]

And why should we listen to you? How has being yourself been working out for you?

 

You *shouldn't* listen to me if you don't like my advice! I am just giving my view.

 

Being myself is actually working out really well for me. It was the fact that I was completely and utterly myself, where I showed my good and bad points, where I showed my strengths and insecurities that attracted my boyfriend to me. And he's told me as much. He is not jugemental of me. He never throws my weaknesses or insecurities in my face. And because of that, I feel that I can be honest with him. He likes how *real* I am.

 

What is even cooler is that I started working on this before I met him because I was sick and tired of trying to be what other people wanted me to be. So I practiced at being more open and honest about the real things. I used this board to practice that. And I am not just the cheap easy things it's easy to be open and honest about on this board like what kind of sex you are into.

 

Mes, when I was younger, I contorted myself into a person I thought I should be when I was dating. I wasn't really me. I sacrificed things that I shouldn't have because of that. because I was too eager to please rather to be myself. It wasn't very fulfilling. As I have gotten older, I've learned to be more of myself and express who that is whether people like me or not. I've practiced being more open about my weaknesses with others and admitting when i haven't done something well or how I really don't do something well. This use to be really hard for me. It is really a cool feeling when you can just be yourself and someone likes you for it even though it's obvious you are far from perfect. And I am still working on it but I've come a long way.

[daisybuchanan55]

Yeah I'll bother posting this again.

 

How about finding more value in some of the guys you've undervalued and overlooked, instead of being a walking stereotype of modern womanhood, collectively chasing after the top 5% of the male population and whining about how you can't "rope in a highly-desired man"?

 

 

I CAN attract the top 5% of the male population. That's not the problem.

 

My problem is trying to figure out how to KEEP them. Logically, I know it's because I let my imagination get ahead of me/get too attached/overlook bad behavior because I'm so into the guy.

 

I am looking for practical, actual strategies to KEEP the guy long-term.

 

Anyway, I really think these threads are like therapy. Sometimes you just need to hash out your problems in writing to see the solution.

[USMCHokie]

You seem like the type that would go for guys you saw with other girls whether you liked the guys or not.

 

What do you mean?

 

It seems like you exemplify the idea of competitiveness amongst your gender. It's why you called them "highly-desired guys" rather than highly desirable guys. You want guys that other women want/have, i.e. "highly desired" guys, so that when you "get" them, you can consider yourself better than those women. It's not about the guy at all, but about your ongoing d*ck-measuring contest with all other women.

 

I don't think you care what you want. You care what other women want, and then you take it from them.

 

But I merely speculate.

[hppr]

Most of the time those women always fail and figure the guy's a jerk or whatever but in reality they are throwing themselves at someone who they have nothing in common with. They're thinking with their dicks and hoping to build a relationship off of sexual desire rather than more tangible things.

 

Also you can't really 'win' a guy unless he wants to be won, if that makes sense. So if a guy tells you to your face that he doesn't want a relationship it's probably true.

 

I think deep down all women know this stuff they just want the fantasy that they can have the hot guy at the other end of the bar if they try hard enough.

[RangerJeremiah]

I CAN attract the top 5% of the male population. That's not the problem.

 

My problem is trying to figure out how to KEEP them. Logically, I know it's because I let my imagination get ahead of me/get too attached/overlook bad behavior because I'm so into the guy.

 

I am looking for practical, actual strategies to KEEP the guy long-term.

 

Anyway, I really think these threads are like therapy. Sometimes you just need to hash out your problems in writing to see the solution.

 

Just don't be so attached/clingy. Don't forget, it's a delicate balance, and you must always adhere to the Principle of Least Interest.