Guy led me on, but turns out he treats me as a dirty secret

[chicaD]

So, from now on- will you still go to that store?

I think you shouldnt, at least I know I wouldnt. I stop going to stores where I think things start getting strange =)

 

PS

I have/had a Situation like yours.

 

I was trying to look for some advice here, especially from people who would convince me how it wasn't worth it to keep going to his store. And I still think his behavior wasn't consistent with the way he used to behave with me before that day, and yes, it does make me doubt about his intentions. But, although the people who commented weren't aware of the cultural issues involved (they assume the only way for a person to prove they're really interested in someone is when they ask them out, even though that doesn't happen in some cultures), I think they do have a point, and that's that I haven't been very obvious about liking him. So, although it's understandable that he might get interested in other girls if there's noone who can be called his official girlfriend, I may still try being more clear about my feelings for him. But I still don't like that behavior, so I'll proceed with caution.

 

Anyway, if you don't mind me asking, how similar is/was your situation?

Edited June 9, 2013 by chicaD

[esteem-jam]

Its in my first thread. In the end I was told "i was imagining things". Like you, I wasnt shown attention/acknowledgment when I should have been (or when I think I should have been).

 

The comments may sound harsh and soft, still the reality is in front of you, no matter you like it or not - will you do your shopping there or in other places?

[chicaD]

Its in my first thread. In the end I was told "i was imagining things". Like you, I wasnt shown attention/acknowledgment when I should have been (or when I think I should have been).

 

The comments may sound harsh and soft, still the reality is in front of you, no matter you like it or not - will you do your shopping there or in other places?

 

I just read your case. But mine is not similar at all. The only resemblances I see is the fact that the girl you like works at a store and that your behavior has limited your taking things further with her (seems that she didn't mind you visiting and trying as long as you at least tried to strike a longer-than-5-minutes conversation with her). However, I must add that while your social anxiety and fear of rejection/worth doubts are an impeding factor in your development, I'm a very confident person. Your crush didn't seem to be very interested in you at all (she wanted to be nice, especially because talking with you online let her see your internal beauty, it seems); this guy has kissed the floor I walk on since day one. But I'm not a person who "imagines" that a guy likes me. In fact, I might be introverted, but I'm a confident, fairly attractive girl who has had/has tons of guys and even lesbians chasing after me. And no bragging intention here, but I have even had several professors/coworkers and a couple bosses getting crushes on me. And that's not only a physical response I would say; despite my introversion I'm a people magnet (people often approach me and many remember me even if they have seen me only once, and no, I don't have any special physical feature that makes me stand out of the crowd). So I have had plenty of experience as to learn to discern when a guy is merely sexually attracted to me, when he likes me, when he has a crush on me, when he thinks he loves me even though he doesn't, when he is infatuated, when he is obsessed, when he sees things where there's none, when he wants my attention only to feed his ego, when he only enjoys my presence but wants nothing further, when he sees me as nothing but a sexual object, when he is more in love with the idea of me than me itself, etc. And trust me, this guy has not behaved with me as "someone who only flirts with a stranger he has zero interest in just to keep her coming as a customer." Besides, my ego and self-respect would never allow me to imagine romance when there's none, and I would never let myself get interested if someone hasn't shown palpable sign that he at least likes me. I simply don't beg for the attention of someone who feels nothing for me. I would feel ashamed of myself if I did. So, if I let myself started feeling things for this guy, that's because he HAS shown visible signs that he likes me in the first place.

 

Anyway, have you tried using any cream to treat your acne?

Edited June 9, 2013 by chicaD

[kamani]

I didn't read all your posts.

 

OK, you are constantly talking about your cultures, so I would like to know what they are if you don't mind, just to have an idea. Are any of you Muslim?

 

I understand that you were getting closer towards him and developing feelings. I feel you got his attention but there's nothing to suggest he was romantically interested in you. Whatever his culture is, he had enough time to make a move. At least to call you, email you etc.

 

He might have liked you even, but he didn't do anything. There are such guys. Forget and move on. This guy is not worth wasting your time on. Don't go to that store.

[youdunsay]

He's only a big flirt. I have been through worst (I was the secret kept-in-the-dark girl for past 1 year) which I hope you don't end up like me. You can discontinue that relationship if he doesn't give you an official relationship.

[orchids]

I feel you got his attention but there's nothing to suggest he was romantically interested in you. Whatever his culture is, he had enough time to make a move. At least to call you, email you etc.

This.

 

Don't make any more excuses for him. There're conservative guys, there're guys who like you- and the conservative guys who really like you will make some kind of move because let's face it, if you're as attractive as you imply you are, he'd feel the pressure to "claim" you, not put up little shows of jealousy.

 

Maybe he does like you. But not enough. You can either let it go or encourage his interest by showing more of your own.