When we are constantly flubbing up, and in a slump, what is God trying to teach us?

[Teknoe]

Lately, it seems everything I'm doing is wrong, and hurting others around me. This is eye opening because I have always felt like I'm a super nice guy, but lately, it seems everything I am just messing up on.

 

Mistake 1: about 3 weeks ago I texted something to my bro and his GF read it and kinda turned it into a big ole mess. They are fine now, but at the time it was hell fire and brimstone.

 

Mistake 2: lost a friend who I thought I was pretty close to. Had a crush on her and just took things too intensely. Seemingly have scared her off, without so much as an explanation. This one still stings, although it's been about a week now and slowly but surely the healing is taking place

 

Mistake 3: Just last night, I texted my friend and accidentally ruined her 30th bday surprise theme... I mentioned I lacked ____ threads... I forgot to read her evite thoroughly. Now her sister is upset with me (never met her sister before) and she said "You suck!" She did follow it up with "haha" but right now, I'm in a pretty sensitive and beat up place in my heart. Every negative word or phrase, even jokingly, hurts.

 

I am throwing my hands up in the air here and asking God what is going on with me? I'm in a slump right now, and just can't seem to do anything right. Just one month ago, I felt I was rolling too. It's funny how things can switch on a dime.

 

What's the key to getting out of a slump?

 

I just feel icky about myself and life right now. Everything I'm touching lately seems to just blow up in my face. I'm even questioning my self-worth right now... I've been (unintentionally) hurting people or letting people down or making dumb mistakes in the last 3 weeks or so.

 

Dunno what's going on. Help?!

 

In a way, I almost feel like God is paying me back for hidden/undisclosed sins that I've done over the course of the last year. It's like it's all coming back to me. Even if I know through Scripture that that is NOT TRUE... human nature compels a small part of my being to feel that way.

 

Like the sins of my past are coming back to haunt me.

[OpenBook]

What's the key to getting out of a slump?

 

Wait it out. Get a good night's sleep; tomorrow is a new day and brings new opportunities to self-correct. Realize life is a crazy roller-coaster, it's always going up & down. So that means when you're down, you'll go back up. And when you're up, appreciate it / relish it and don't get sloppy! (which makes the inevitable downhill ride a lot worse)

 

In a way, I almost feel like God is paying me back for hidden/undisclosed sins that I've done over the course of the last year. It's like it's all coming back to me. Even if I know through Scripture that that is NOT TRUE... human nature compels a small part of my being to feel that way.

 

Like the sins of my past are coming back to haunt me.

 

No, God loves you way too much to be "paying you back" - that's not how He works. Maybe He's trying to show you something? It's anyone's guess, but whatever the case it's always a good thing to be still, ask for His guidance... and listen.

 

(... and if I had to guess, you're beating yourself up way more about your recent "mistakes" than the people you're worried about.)

[M30USA]

If you are being brought to the realization that apart from God you can do nothing, then you have been blessed. These are the true blessings.

[pureinheart]

(((((((((hugs)))))))) you know, He could be showing you many things through these incidents- only you can discern this. He will speak to you and show you.

 

Actually, it's my opinion that it's a part of life, and sometimes there's no spiritual significance other than a simple learning process or just nothing ...it could be a learning process on the other end, meaning it was meant for the other party to learn something...

 

You are fine. I wouldn't read too much into it;)

[TheFinalWord]

Hey Teknoe:

 

Lately, it seems everything I'm doing is wrong, and hurting others around me.

 

It is hard to tell from the details you have provided, but it may be that you are unnecessarily ruminating on your mistakes, when to others they may not be that important. Especially, if they are just clumsy mistakes

 

I was in a meeting last week and one of the people kept apologizing for oversleeping. It was a week prior and honestly no one would have even remembered. But she kept talking about it and made it a salient thought on everyone's mind.

 

By focusing on her mistake and testifying non-stop about it, this person made a literal mole hill into a mountain.

 

Mistake 1: about 3 weeks ago I texted something to my bro and his GF read it and kinda turned it into a big ole mess. They are fine now, but at the time it was hell fire and brimstone.

 

Well, it sounds like they are okay now. We learn through mistakes a lot of times, so I would not beat yourself up about it.

 

Mistake 2: lost a friend who I thought I was pretty close to. Had a crush on her and just took things too intensely. Seemingly have scared her off, without so much as an explanation. This one still stings, although it's been about a week now and slowly but surely the healing is taking place

 

With unrequited love, the main thing I have learned is that the more you let it linger, the more it hurts when it is not received. Better to find out early on so you don't fixate.

 

Mistake 3: Just last night, I texted my friend and accidentally ruined her 30th bday surprise theme... I mentioned I lacked ____ threads... I forgot to read her evite thoroughly. Now her sister is upset with me (never met her sister before) and she said "You suck!" She did follow it up with "haha" but right now, I'm in a pretty sensitive and beat up place in my heart. Every negative word or phrase, even jokingly, hurts.

 

That was just an honest error. If someone is going to hold a mistake against you like that, how much of a friend are they?

 

“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

 

Relationship (platonic and romantic) have bumps along the road. Sometimes these bumps can give you insight into someone's character. Sometimes they can give insight into your character. Reflection, forgiving yourself, and apologies (if needed) are all beneficial for your growth.

 

I am throwing my hands up in the air here and asking God what is going on with me? I'm in a slump right now, and just can't seem to do anything right. Just one month ago, I felt I was rolling too. It's funny how things can switch on a dime.

 

What's the key to getting out of a slump?

 

Re-focus on your purpose.

 

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

 

Do you have a mission and vision statement for your life? Goals? As long as you are progressing in your goals and working towards your vision, small bumps will be seen as challenging obstacles rather than insurmountable roadblocks.

 

If you are working towards your mission (as a Christian I believe your life vision is the ministry God has called us into), there will be so much work to do you will not have much time to dwell on naysayers. People love to tear others down. Usually it is rooted in jealously or insecurity. Confrontation builds confidence and confidence produces perseverance.

 

We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

 

1) Ask God to reveal your life's purpose and to train you for it. Training will involve spiritual preparation via testing. One trait of spiritual growth is having faith in God for the vision He has given you.

 

If you have faith in God's purpose for your life, the opinions of others will not cut as deep, and eventually you will barely notice.

 

2) God has forgiven you. If you offend someone, apologize to God and to them. If they receive it, that is great. But if they don't, you cannot let another person's bitterness hold you in bondage. Our purpose in life is too important to get weighed down by critics and naysayers. There are times that no matter your efforts towards reconciliation, your request for forgiveness will not be received. In these cases, you will have to be content with forgiving yourself (rooted in God's acceptance of you). That is all you can do at that point.

 

Joel Osteen - Get Over It - Sun, 15 April 2013 - YouTube

 

In a way, I almost feel like God is paying me back for hidden/undisclosed sins that I've done over the course of the last year. It's like it's all coming back to me. Even if I know through Scripture that that is NOT TRUE... human nature compels a small part of my being to feel that way.

 

Like the sins of my past are coming back to haunt me.

 

You're right, He's not. There are consequences to our actions. However, God is not taking vengeance on you.

 

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus

Edited June 10, 2013 by TheFinalWord

[pureinheart]

FTR OP, I learned how to receive myself a bit better from TFW ^^^^^

[Teknoe]

Wow, thank you so much everyone for your helpful and insightful replies, especially to TFW. Lots of wisdom that I am needing to soak up.

 

TFW, I'm going to send you a private message.

 

But to recap on how I'm doing with 1-2-3...

 

1: Yeah, I have let this one go. It was 3 weeks ago, and it seems that in the pit of my "being at the bottom," my mind traced back to where my series of mistakes began. My bro and his GF have moved on, and I now have too

 

2: Still stings a bit but each day gets easier and easier. Part that hurts the most is the silence, and knowing if I just played it casually, we would still be connecting. Especially with summer here and both of us on vacation, it was exciting to think about what the summer might have brought. Instead, it's dead quiet and a friendship that has been rescinded on her end. Getting better each day, healing a bit more, but still in the throes of the pain adjusting to the aftermath

 

3: I pretty much moved on from this. It was very small really, an honest mistake and hey, if she or her sister is gonna hold that over my head, whatever. I don't need friends like that.

 

Tomorrow will be better!

[KathyM]

I am throwing my hands up in the air here and asking God what is going on with me? I'm in a slump right now, and just can't seem to do anything right. Just one month ago, I felt I was rolling too. It's funny how things can switch on a dime.

 

What's the key to getting out of a slump?

Pray about it. Be aware of what God's word/position is through His lessons that He has provided us. I know I have been in a slump sometimes in various things that I could have avoided if I had followed God's will and God's word, rather than my own shortsighted path.

 

In a way, I almost feel like God is paying me back for hidden/undisclosed sins that I've done over the course of the last year. It's like it's all coming back to me. Even if I know through Scripture that that is NOT TRUE... human nature compels a small part of my being to feel that way.

 

Like the sins of my past are coming back to haunt me.

Sometimes God disciplines us for our own good, if He feels we need it, just like a parent disciplines a child. He may be trying to teach you something. He may be closing a door so that another one that is better for you could be opened. He may be trying to bring you back to the right path by showing you that the path you were on was not in your best interests.

 

I'm going to go out on a limb here and be specific. The friend that you had romantic feelings for, but who considered you to be only a platonic friend and she was in a romantic relationship with another man. Do you think it would be God's will or God's plan that you are investing so much of your time and mental energy, hopes and feelings, into a woman that is not available and is in an exclusive relationship with another man? Probably not. God's plan for your life, if a romantic partner is to be involved, would be that you have someone who would feel the same love and interest in you that you feel for the woman. Not unrequited love that robs you of what you would need in a romantic relationship. A love that is so one-sided is not what God would want for you. You need to pray about this, and trust that God knows what is best for you. He may have closed this door with this friend because He knows that was not what you need. An unrequited relationship is not good for you, and it takes your time and attention away from seeking out relationships that would give you what you need.

[TheFinalWord]

2: Still stings a bit but each day gets easier and easier. Part that hurts the most is the silence, and knowing if I just played it casually, we would still be connecting. Especially with summer here and both of us on vacation, it was exciting to think about what the summer might have brought. Instead, it's dead quiet and a friendship that has been rescinded on her end. Getting better each day, healing a bit more, but still in the throes of the pain adjusting to the aftermath

 

Hey Teknoe,

 

Another, more meatier thing to consider, is that sometimes we go through experiences, so that we can minister to others when they are hurting. For example, I have experienced unrequited love and that helps me empathize more with what you are feeling and how to better minister.

 

This is a bit of a deeper spiritual concept. But I thought I would give it b/c you were very open to the more surface explanations Hope it helps!

 

Check out Paul in 2 Corinthians:

 

Paul and his team were so afflicted, they wanted to die.

 

We do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.

 

How does Paul interpret this? This is the key:

 

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

 

If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer.

One really interesting thing about Paul, is that he had an exceptional gift for considering everything in the context of delivering the gospel of Christ. Whenever he went through anything (and he went through more beatings and imprisonments that probably any other Christian), he considered it a blessing. Why? Because he completely trusted that God would use it to promote the gospel of Christ through Him.

 

You can see a lot of evidence in scripture. But his ability to do this allowed him to empathize in very deep ways. In one passage, he states that, if it were possible, he would take the sentence of hell for Israel.

 

I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh.

 

Two other characters in the bible, Moses and Jesus (both ministers of new Covenants), asked God to punish them instead of their sheep (atonement).

 

So Moses went back to the Lord and said, “Oh, what a great sin these people have committed! They have made themselves gods of gold. But now, please forgive their sin—but if not, then blot me out of the book you have written.” The Lord replied to Moses, “Whoever has sinned against me I will blot out of my book.

 

The gift of empathy also allows us to forgive others. Basically, empathy is the root of mercy. And often, the ability to give mercy has to be cultivated through experience.

 

If you are being called into ministry, it is possible God is molding you. I can go on, but I don't know what you feel called to in your heart. This may be just the beginning. After you are tempered, God will be able to use you in powerful ways, in a variety of ministries.

Edited June 11, 2013 by TheFinalWord

[Grumpybutfun]

Lately, it seems everything I'm doing is wrong, and hurting others around me. This is eye opening because I have always felt like I'm a super nice guy, but lately, it seems everything I am just messing up on.

 

Mistake 1: about 3 weeks ago I texted something to my bro and his GF read it and kinda turned it into a big ole mess. They are fine now, but at the time it was hell fire and brimstone.

 

Mistake 2: lost a friend who I thought I was pretty close to. Had a crush on her and just took things too intensely. Seemingly have scared her off, without so much as an explanation. This one still stings, although it's been about a week now and slowly but surely the healing is taking place

 

Mistake 3: Just last night, I texted my friend and accidentally ruined her 30th bday surprise theme... I mentioned I lacked ____ threads... I forgot to read her evite thoroughly. Now her sister is upset with me (never met her sister before) and she said "You suck!" She did follow it up with "haha" but right now, I'm in a pretty sensitive and beat up place in my heart. Every negative word or phrase, even jokingly, hurts.

 

I am throwing my hands up in the air here and asking God what is going on with me? I'm in a slump right now, and just can't seem to do anything right. Just one month ago, I felt I was rolling too. It's funny how things can switch on a dime.

 

What's the key to getting out of a slump?

 

I just feel icky about myself and life right now. Everything I'm touching lately seems to just blow up in my face. I'm even questioning my self-worth right now... I've been (unintentionally) hurting people or letting people down or making dumb mistakes in the last 3 weeks or so.

 

Dunno what's going on. Help?!

 

In a way, I almost feel like God is paying me back for hidden/undisclosed sins that I've done over the course of the last year. It's like it's all coming back to me. Even if I know through Scripture that that is NOT TRUE... human nature compels a small part of my being to feel that way.

 

Like the sins of my past are coming back to haunt me.

 

One way to think on this is through various eastern spiritual beliefs. (I prefer Buddhism and Zen.) There are spiritual practices on how to be more aware of what is going on in our lives and around us. This is called awareness and by being aware of who you are and your place in this world, you learn how to be more mindful of others and more compassionate towards them. This is the way you stop concentrating all of your energy on yourself and let yourself be more interconnected with the world. By "letting go" of extraneous shame and guilt and focusing on kindness and joy, we draw those things to us. This is just another view on how to see your experiences as being helpful and not harmful. We all experience pain and loss and when we stop judging those experiences as "bad" or "evil" they can become important to our growth. There are some who practice the religion of Buddhism here who could probably be more helpful. I am a Theist without any religion so I just use what pertains to how I practice my own spiritual path, but these practices can be very helpful in seeing our path as one without shame or blame, but instead with compassion and joy.

Theism does not necessarily mean that you believe God is a vengeful or wrathful God who punishes us with our own experiences. My own personal belief is that God is the Creator of a lovely world where we are all interconnected through peace and compassion.

Good luck,

Grumps

Edited June 11, 2013 by Grumpybutfun

[TheFinalWord]

Good luck,Grumps

 

Good to see you around Grumps. Hope all is well with you!

[Adele0908]

OP, the sins of your past are NOT coming back to haunt you. You are NOT being punished. Every day is a new day and a new chance.

 

Examine yourself and your primary thoughts. If your primary thoughts tend to be negative, self-harming, sad, angry, depressing, defeating, fearful, and so on....then THERE is where you start, because as you know, you can't control or change other people OR the past.

 

Forget the past, we all make mistakes and get into slumps. just learn what you can from what occurred and move forward.

 

I recommend a book called The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. It helped me out of a slump not too long ago.

[todreaminblue]

<< Ecclesiastes 3 >>

King James Bible

To Everything There is a Season

 

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 

2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;

 

3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 

4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

 

5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

 

6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

 

7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

 

8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

 

 

I love this bible verse it is the one that i know the best....every time i go through soemthing that absolutely sucks....that i think crap i am not going to make it ...i think of this verse it just pops into my head......so now i will share ti with you......everything we go through good or bad has a tiem and a place to occur....

 

i had a cockroach burrow into my ear on tuesday...now not quite sure why that had to happen ...maybe to teach me not to sleep under my curtain......i actually like sleeping under my curtain because it periodically brushes against my cheek....and feels affectionate like a long lost memory i have.......not such a good idea.......;0)...a cockroach used the curtain to bungee jump into my ear ..not pleasant........so ...i sleep upside down now away from my curtain and rely a bit more on prayer to make sure cockroaches dont bungee into my ear canal........i feel if you just pray when you have trials or need that something extra to help you through you can look on the brighter side of the sun.....and i am glad you are back at church now and things are looking up for you(i read your other threads)..have hope......life isnt all about bungeeing cockroaches and miscommunications over evites....theres a time and a place for everything........god bless.....huge non cockroach bungee jumping hugs to ya teknoe from me to you.....deb

[M30USA]

I love this bible verse it is the one that i know the best....every time i go through soemthing that absolutely sucks....that i think crap i am not going to make it ...i think of this verse it just pops into my head......so now i will share ti with you......everything we go through good or bad has a tiem and a place to occur....

 

i had a cockroach burrow into my ear on tuesday...now not quite sure why that had to happen ...maybe to teach me not to sleep under my curtain......i actually like sleeping under my curtain because it periodically brushes against my cheek....and feels affectionate like a long lost memory i have.......not such a good idea.......;0)...a cockroach used the curtain to bungee jump into my ear ..not pleasant........so ...i sleep upside down now away from my curtain and rely a bit more on prayer to make sure cockroaches dont bungee into my ear canal........i feel if you just pray when you have trials or need that something extra to help you through you can look on the brighter side of the sun.....and i am glad you are back at church now and things are looking up for you(i read your other threads)..have hope......life isnt all about bungeeing cockroaches and miscommunications over evites....theres a time and a place for everything........god bless.....huge non cockroach bungee jumping hugs to ya teknoe from me to you.....deb

 

Everybody sing it:

 

[pie2]

i sleep upside down now away from my curtain and rely a bit more on prayer to make sure cockroaches dont bungee into my ear canal....

 

I'll be praying for that too, deb! That is SO scary!!!!!!!! :eek:

[pureinheart]

I'm going to go out on a limb here and be specific. The friend that you had romantic feelings for, but who considered you to be only a platonic friend and she was in a romantic relationship with another man. Do you think it would be God's will or God's plan that you are investing so much of your time and mental energy, hopes and feelings, into a woman that is not available and is in an exclusive relationship with another man? Probably not. God's plan for your life, if a romantic partner is to be involved, would be that you have someone who would feel the same love and interest in you that you feel for the woman. Not unrequited love that robs you of what you would need in a romantic relationship. A love that is so one-sided is not what God would want for you. You need to pray about this, and trust that God knows what is best for you. He may have closed this door with this friend because He knows that was not what you need. An unrequited relationship is not good for you, and it takes your time and attention away from seeking out relationships that would give you what you need.

 

Wow, way cool Kathy. This is exactly what some of us singles need to hear, thank you!

[carhill]

When we are constantly flubbing up, and in a slump, what is God trying to teach us?

 

It's OK to be imperfect.

[pureinheart]

It's OK to be imperfect.

 

Ya it is, isn't it- but CH, I give a whole new menaing to imperfect!:lmao::lmao: