Hurt Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Tell me what you think? Should there be a daily contact with an ex? going to thier homes for hrs at a time? Should I be insecure if I never meet the other? What if your mate lied about where she was going that day and you found out it was to the exs house? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Sounds extremely suspect to me. If it bothers you, he shouldn't be doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I don't have daily contact with my friends - I would say this "ex" is more than a friend. Yes. It would bother me. Their relationship is not over. Link to post Share on other sites
dizi Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Dear Hurt, 1)No, there should not be daily contact with exes. 2)Unless there are children involved there should be no contact with exes as long as they are with you. 3)I would be naturally concerned if my mate were visiting his ex for hours on end. It would never happen again, because it would be over...there is NO REASON for them to be there. 4)And if I caught him in a lie about being with his ex? Again, it would be over. Simple as that. Hope that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Should there be a daily contact with an ex? If there are no feelings on either part, and your partner is okay with it, I think it is basically okay. yet, I find it difficult to image how someone could be totally confortable if their partner spent time with their ex on a daily basis. going to thier homes for hrs at a time? Same as above Should I be insecure if I never meet the other? I don't know if you should, but I certainly would. It is also time to meet him. Why your partner hasn't even introduced the two of you? What if your mate lied about where she was going that day and you found out it was to the exs house? To me it would be enough to dump her. What excuse did she pull? Anything like "I was really only doing nothing wrong, i didn't tell you so you would have got upset over nothing" ? Oh, and Dizi made a very good point -there are no children involved, are there? And the ex has not a serious illness, or huge problems? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurt Posted October 9, 2004 Author Share Posted October 9, 2004 I broke up with her 3 months ago and I have had so many giulty and hurt feelings that I made the wrong thing, I miss her and still love her, no there were no kids, he dumped her, they were in constant email, phone and after 10 mos of this I was a crazy person, she told me thay were best friends, I asked to meet him, never did, I asked her If he knew about me andshe told me that I never came up in their conversations!!!! what would you all think? why do I still love her?? Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 I asked to meet him, never did, I asked her If he knew about me andshe told me that I never came up in their conversations!!!! what would you all think? That she is still carrying a torch for him & didn't want to scupper her chances of a reconciliation. why do I still love her?? Sorry, can't answer that one !! I broke up with her 3 months ago and I have had so many giulty and hurt feelings that I made the wrong thing, Unless you like being a convenient third wheel then you most certainly did do the RIGHT thing. For 10 months she has been disrespectful of you & your feelings, best friends or no, her relationship with her "ex", as you describe it, is not normal. If you don't have any respect for yourself you sure as heck aren't going to get it from anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 Originally posted by bluechocolate Unless you like being a convenient third wheel then you most certainly did do the RIGHT thing. For 10 months she has been disrespectful of you & your feelings, best friends or no, her relationship with her "ex", as you describe it, is not normal. If you don't have any respect for yourself you sure as heck aren't going to get it from anyone else. Amen to that! Link to post Share on other sites
dizi Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Originally posted by Hurt I broke up with her 3 months ago and I have had so many giulty and hurt feelings that I made the wrong thing, I miss her and still love her, no there were no kids, he dumped her, they were in constant email, phone and after 10 mos of this I was a crazy person, she told me thay were best friends, I asked to meet him, never did, I asked her If he knew about me andshe told me that I never came up in their conversations!!!! what would you all think? why do I still love her?? For some reason I was under the impression that you were a girl! Sorry about my previous post...I think you made the right decision in breaking up with her. YOU were a secret kept from her ex boyfriend, and as bluechocolate says, she's most likely carrying a torch for him and doesn't want you to get in the way of a possible re-connection. As for why you still love her? For some reason many of us still want those who treat us the worse. It makes us feel awful that we aren't the ones they want. So we carry a torch for a long, worthless time. But that isn't really love. It's something else...I hope that you don't torture yourself by keeping in touch with her or that you have to see her on a daily basis. I hope that you will be able to move on and find a healthy, loving relationship. Don't beat yourself up over this-you do deserve an honest relationship...don't you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurt Posted October 10, 2004 Author Share Posted October 10, 2004 You know, it was a hurtfull 10 mos, my insecurities were tested, dam I just dont know why I take the blame! I gave her everything!!! I put my heart on the line, she told me she loved me and yet at the end of the day here I am! She walked into a meetind I was speaking at last nite! and she was smiling and kissed a guy in front of me before she left! Why do they treat someting so golden as trash?? You now man, I am glad it is over most of thge time, and yey I beat myself up, should I have given her another chance when she said I choose yo and still had made plans to se her ex who lives 1 hr away? should I have believed her one more time? Man I am so confused!! she had a 2 and 3 yr old girls that I became attached to, why did she not respect my wishes???????? Link to post Share on other sites
redriding Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Sounds similar to a very recent experience of mine... was with a guy who had recently broke from his wife....they had no kids. They were constantly in contact with each other..and when i questioned him about this ..gave the same predictable excuses...he told me he loved me and wanted to be wiht me not here...etc...but you know what ..it was all a load of crap. (i hacked an email account and got proof).. Honestly i think that he wants to work his problems out with his wife ..but was avoiding it by being with me.. unless you like being someone who is there to make her feel better and less hurt about her past relationship, which she has not personally come to terms with..then i would back off..and RUN!!!! sorry..id im too pessamistic today..ha Link to post Share on other sites
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