Ex broke up with me, want her back

[Mother Earth]

I am going through a very hard time and could use some advise.

 

 

I am a late in life lesbian. I am 37 and met my girlfriend last July. I asked her out which was probably one of the riskiest things I've ever done. Well everything was good til October when I realized how serious we were and I was still processing being gay. I became depressed and had a hard time coping with my new identity. I didn't come out to everyone and those who I did half understood the other did not. My girlfriend buckled under my stress and we broke up at least three times, she dumping me. She would call me a few days later and we were fine. This time a friend of 23 years told me she could not be my friend anymore because of her religious beliefs. I was heartbroken. I canceled a date I planned with my girlfriend and she said it was over this is my path and she took me as far as she was supposed to.

 

I really want her in my life. I just started therapy for dealing with this. I am just devastated.

Since we broke up (last Friday) she said she "wanted me" and was crying. She also said we could eventually be friends and that she loved me very much. She also said it would be her biggest regret if I came into my own and was a strong, confident lesbian...and it was too late.

Everything had me hopeful. She also said she wished she had went with me to therapy, "but hindsight is 20/20".

 

I already broke NC by texting her I missed her. I haven't heard from her since Wednesday. Do I have any chance of getting her back eventually? She's dumped me so many times I feel like we could never get started like we did in the beginning, sex started to dwindle with every breakup. All I know is we both cried and said we love each other. I am a mess.

[theLWord]

Hey, sorry you are in pain. You will get some flack from coming out, and it's not easy. You can't let that scare you away from who you are. If your friend left because of that, that's her choice. It may hurt now, but you'll feel better for being your true self in the future. It's a complicated matter when someone is used to being out and dating someone who isn't.. If she can't handle what you're going through, you're better off not having her in your life. Everyone handles things at their own pace. It sounds like she was just using this as an excuse to leave to me. I think you should continue therapy and accepting yourself, then consider a relationship when you are comfortable with who you are. Go NC with her, it will only make it harder. Worry about you right now, it'll get better. Good luck.