ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Do you think it could work out? I started hanging out with this guy he is 20 and I am not getting overly excited about him (that always gets me into trouble) anyways he is a nice guy, very shy and he is so funny! Only problem is he is atheist, I am Christian.. We have talked about it and he is a good person, he was raised Catholic, like really Catholic but after a friend of his committed suicide he kind of went against his religion because the church says people who commit suicide go to hell and he doesn't agree. I feel weird I mean we aren't serious so it isn't a major issue but I believe in God, he said he believes God could exist but he isn't sure. Isn't there something in the Bible about being unequally yoked or something? If I date him will I go to Hell? I just feel like he is a good guy and idk I'm confused but I know I enjoy spending time with him. Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Isn't there something in the Bible about being unequally yoked or something? 2 Corinthians 6:14, Depending on your choice of translation, it's something like: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? and the next verse speaks to the same topic. I think it's clear what Paul meant, but whether you have to follow his advice (or, perhaps, instruction) to the Corinthians is one for you to decide. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I think your priorities with regard to your Christian faith, might be better focused on more pertinent aspects of your conduct..... Just MHO. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 I think your priorities with regard to your Christian faith, might be better focused on more pertinent aspects of your conduct..... Just MHO. That isn't my question though, I know what I believe and I know what he doesn't believe and I want to know if it is ok for me to date someone who doesn't believe what I believe. This isn't about conduct its about Christian dating an atheist. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 It will only become a problem when you make it a problem by bringing it up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 It will only become a problem when you make it a problem by bringing it up. I have brought it up it doesn't seem like a huge deal its just that my family wouldn't approve maybe lol Link to post Share on other sites
sillyanswer Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 I want to know if it is ok for me to date someone who doesn't believe what I believe. "ok" according to who? It's fine with me! If you mean is it okay according to your faith, then it's either a personal issue (you tell us if it's okay!) or it's one for your church to help with. What does your vicar / priest / pastor etc say? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 He doesn't sound like a strong atheist. He's only 20 too. He's evolving. To me that's admirable. The question is will you let your hand-me-down beliefs cut you off from real, flesh and blood people? Religiosity is a deal-breaker for me. It's ancient intellectual and emotional pollution that destroys unconditional love. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 That isn't my question though, I know what I believe and I know what he doesn't believe and I want to know if it is ok for me to date someone who doesn't believe what I believe. This isn't about conduct its about Christian dating an atheist. Actually dearest, it's entirely about conduct. let's for example say that an atheist helps the poor and homeless and works in a soup kitchen, but a hardened Christian is a regular offender and habitual law-breaker. This has nothing to do with being an atheist or otherwise. This is to do with the person's own integrity and moral values. You have to decide whether your family's approval - or otherwise - counts for anything, simply because he's an atheist, or whether you want to carry on dating him because actually, even if he IS an atheist, he is a good-hearted, respectful regular guy. It's not what he believes that matters. It's how he behaves towards you - that really counts. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 9, 2013 Author Share Posted June 9, 2013 Actually dearest, it's entirely about conduct. let's for example say that an atheist helps the poor and homeless and works in a soup kitchen, but a hardened Christian is a regular offender and habitual law-breaker. This has nothing to do with being an atheist or otherwise. This is to do with the person's own integrity and moral values. You have to decide whether your family's approval - or otherwise - counts for anything, simply because he's an atheist, or whether you want to carry on dating him because actually, even if he IS an atheist, he is a good-hearted, respectful regular guy. It's not what he believes that matters. It's how he behaves towards you - that really counts. But if he doesn't believe in God then what if he goes to hell, I mean I know I could easily go to hell too but I mean if he isn't saved he will for sure go and that's sad because he's a good person. I just kind of worry about that, but then I have family members who are Christian but haven't been to church in like forever so idk religion is confusing. I just don't want him to go to hell Link to post Share on other sites
TheFinalWord Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 Do you think it could work out? I started hanging out with this guy he is 20 and I am not getting overly excited about him (that always gets me into trouble) anyways he is a nice guy, very shy and he is so funny! Only problem is he is atheist, I am Christian.. We have talked about it and he is a good person, he was raised Catholic, like really Catholic but after a friend of his committed suicide he kind of went against his religion because the church says people who commit suicide go to hell and he doesn't agree. I feel weird I mean we aren't serious so it isn't a major issue but I believe in God, he said he believes God could exist but he isn't sure. Isn't there something in the Bible about being unequally yoked or something? If I date him will I go to Hell? I just feel like he is a good guy and idk I'm confused but I know I enjoy spending time with him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
taiko Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Isn't there something in the Bible about being unequally yoked or something? If I date him will I go to Hell? I just feel like he is a good guy and idk I'm confused but I know I enjoy spending time with him. Yes it is in the Bible about refraining from unequally yoked relationships. However the largest Christian Church also makes allowances for and has a framework for allowing a relationship with a non church member and baptized Christians of other organizations to be consummated in marriage and will proclaim that the church member has done nothing to send herself to hell. Although other internal church rules may trip her up. Although a strict bishop can nix the opportunity in theory. Some smaller Christian organizations say that by dating and marrying anyone outside of their specific organization, or even someone inside their church without the clergy's permission, you will go to hell. Ultimate salvation and how you get there is one of the questions of inter religious debate and e can't answer where you, your family and religious community sits on the spectrum. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 But if he doesn't believe in God then what if he goes to hell, I mean I know I could easily go to hell too but I mean if he isn't saved he will for sure go and that's sad because he's a good person. I just kind of worry about that, but then I have family members who are Christian but haven't been to church in like forever so idk religion is confusing. I just don't want him to go to hell Worry about that when he's dead. No point worrying about it while he's alive. He's here, isn't he? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CryForNoOne Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 But if he doesn't believe in God then what if he goes to hell, I mean I know I could easily go to hell too but I mean if he isn't saved he will for sure go and that's sad because he's a good person. Any God that sends a good person to hell for not worshipping is no god in my book... Also, he's not an atheist even if he told you he is. From your description he is agnostic... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Your parents might not approve any more if he were a practicing Catholic. My husband was the son of a very conservative Baptist minister. My husband's sister had a partner for a science project when they were in high school - the kid was a Catholic. Husband's father would not even let him in the house! You're basically a fundamentalist, right? If you are, Catholics and atheists are pretty much in the same boat. The boat bound straight to hell. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TaxAHCruel Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Do you think it could work out? Yes - and it does often - and there are many examples of it. Realizing the difference between "could" and "will" however is the individual challenge of anyone in such a relationship. There are clear risks. I see no reason why such a relationship can not work out. There are many church going Christians who are dating or are even married to atheists. My own brother is successfully married to a devout catholic and has been for 20 years for example. Now I know because "atheists are serving the devil and Christians are serving god" but I see no reason at all to consider this true. But if he doesn't believe in God then what if he goes to hell, I mean I know I could easily go to hell too but I mean if he isn't saved he will for sure go and that's sad because he's a good person. Is there not a contradiction in such doctrine therefore? This heaven theists believe in is meant to be a paradise of happiness for eternity. How then could someone you love go to hell? What kind of paradise COULD it be if you had to spent an eternity knowing the one you love is in hell? That - itself - sounds like hell to me. Unless this god of yours provides you with some kind of clone imposter of your loved one in order to make you not know your real loved one is in hell. But then this is not heaven or paradise either but a dictatorship state built on lies and deception. For me I realize there is no reason at all to think there even is a god or an after life - so it is not my problem - but even aside from that I can not see a reconciliation between the doctrines of heaven and those of hell that makes any sense of the existence of both. What complete failure of empathy must be involved in thinking that one could consider any place a paradise if one is there in the knowledge that others are suffering eternally elsewhere. What is happening here in the eyes of a non-believer like me is that the potential for a loving and happy relationship is being crushed under the feet of unsubstantiated nonsense and that is nothing short of a Shakespearean tragedy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 Your parents might not approve any more if he were a practicing Catholic. My husband was the son of a very conservative Baptist minister. My husband's sister had a partner for a science project when they were in high school - the kid was a Catholic. Husband's father would not even let him in the house! You're basically a fundamentalist, right? If you are, Catholics and atheists are pretty much in the same boat. The boat bound straight to hell. I remember when I was really young in Sunday school one of the teachers said that Catholics go to hell because they don't pray to God/Jesus they pray to Virgin Mary. I was so scared becaucmy best friend was Catholic. That seems stupi to me because like if you believe in God or are a good person you should go to heaven. I can't see how someone who is a good person and done so much good stuff for others can go to hell because they don't believe in God. Idk it is just a lot of rules in religion Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 The teacher was lying. learn to tell the difference between 'God's sensible rules' and those made up by people pretending to represent God, who are in fact just putting their own slant on things in order to influence you to agree with everything they say out of fear and control. (Hint: That pretty much covers every priest or religious teacher you'll meet). 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted June 11, 2013 Author Share Posted June 11, 2013 The teacher was lying. learn to tell the difference between 'God's sensible rules' and those made up by people pretending to represent God, who are in fact just putting their own slant on things in order to influence you to agree with everything they say out of fear and control. (Hint: That pretty much covers every priest or religious teacher you'll meet). So how do you know who to believe? I know that's probably a really dumb question but its confusing I mean pastors and teachers (Sunday school teachers) are supposed to teach you accurate stuff you know? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 That seems stupi to me because like if you believe in God or are a good person you should go to heaven. I can't see how someone who is a good person and done so much good stuff for others can go to hell because they don't believe in God. Idk it is just a lot of rules in religion Makes you wonder, no? It is almost as if the church is an instititution of men and women, fallen and imperfect, trying to wield influence over Earthly matters that are not part of the kingdom of Christ. Perhaps you should seek your answer through prayer? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 So how do you know who to believe? I know that's probably a really dumb question but its confusing I mean pastors and teachers (Sunday school teachers) are supposed to teach you accurate stuff you know? A lot of people don't believe that anything about the Bible is "accurate" at all, anyway. As someone else has pointed out, if you are concerned about Christianity, you might want to focus that upon your own life. This guy? You don't even know him at all. If it doesn't work out, there are hundreds of reasons why. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 So how do you know who to believe? I know that's probably a really dumb question but its confusing I mean pastors and teachers (Sunday school teachers) are supposed to teach you accurate stuff you know? Define "accurate"? You are dealing with interpreting a copy of a copy of a copy (you get the idea) of something that was translated from Greek. Why do you suppose different sects of the same religion go so far as to kill each other over differing interpretations? Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Read what your Bible says about the subject. The Bible is very clear on this subject. If you are a Christian, you believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God, and teaches us what God's will is for us. Link to post Share on other sites
Bozena Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Hi! Being an atheist I can tell you that I would never dated a christian. But your guy is still young and probably is an agnosticist or he just doesn't know or care about religion. No offense but I could never have something in common with a christian, so if he was a serious atheist, there would be no chance for this to work out due to so different worldviews. Link to post Share on other sites
Nyla Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Do you think it could work out? I started hanging out with this guy he is 20 and I am not getting overly excited about him (that always gets me into trouble) anyways he is a nice guy, very shy and he is so funny! Only problem is he is atheist, I am Christian.. We have talked about it and he is a good person, he was raised Catholic, like really Catholic but after a friend of his committed suicide he kind of went against his religion because the church says people who commit suicide go to hell and he doesn't agree. I feel weird I mean we aren't serious so it isn't a major issue but I believe in God, he said he believes God could exist but he isn't sure. Isn't there something in the Bible about being unequally yoked or something? If I date him will I go to Hell? I just feel like he is a good guy and idk I'm confused but I know I enjoy spending time with him. The bolded sentence shows awareness. Good for you IB! Why don't you just enjoy the friendship for now and see where it leads? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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