sybo24 Posted June 9, 2013 Share Posted June 9, 2013 This is how long it has been since I saw or heard from my exMM. I have come a long way in this time and the thing that keeps me going is the following 3 things I think about if I want to text or call him 1 He wouldn't answer me or return a call 2 He would answer but I wouldn't like what he had to say 3 He would answer and tell me he loved me and wanted to be with me. Conculsion. All of these replies are unacceptable now. Even if he wanted me I feel he doesn't deserve me any more. He can live his life the way he chooses and I will live mine the way I choose. And I don't choose him anymore. Still taking each day as it comes but so far each day is getting a little better 6 Link to post Share on other sites
C00kie Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Baby steps, each day at a time. Funny how it heals just like an addiction. It gets worse before it gets better...which it will. You're thinking the right way. Whatever he would have to tell you would be unacceptable right now...and would only bring you hurt and sorrow. You know those feelings, don't go there again. Each day will eventually become better. You will heal. I've heard someone say "you go through hell and one day you wake up and you're free. You don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders anymore. That day is worth fighting for." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecharade Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Your thinking is right. Keep it up. I'm right there with you. It doesn't matter how many 'justifications' exist--we need to go back to something sane, something without confusion and ambiguity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Those are good things to remind yourself. I'm 3 weeks NC (23 days, but who is counting). I get urges to email and like you, I ask myself "What has changed?" If I emailed him, yes...he'd respond with lovey words. But they are only words. If he ever works up the nerve to leave his wife, I assume he'll find me. Until then, I really have nothing left to say. Link to post Share on other sites
who_am_i Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Congratulations! I remember those first few weeks and they were awful...I never thought I'd make it! The 4th thing that you can add to your list is this... I've already made it 4 weeks and 2 days! Trust me...eventually you will stop counting the days, it does get easier. Contacting him will only put you back to day #1 again...and who wants to relive that?! Keep it up!! You're doing a great job!! Link to post Share on other sites
missy268 Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 It is really hard but you are doing great! Keep going, you will get there xx Link to post Share on other sites
georgia girl Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 Good for you! You are well on your way to recovery!!!! The next phase will be the day that you look back and you can't remember how many days so you have to count it up. And then comes the day when you meet someone new. And he's cute. And he asks you out for a drink. Then, a part of you doesn't want to go but a part of you can't wait to go. And you get nervous. And your hair doesn't turn out the way it should. Then, you have a second date. You tell your friends about him. And what a good guy he is... . Welcome to the rest of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
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