bf cheated on me and now wants to meet up with girl again

[suzuki]

Hi Im new to this forum,

 

I have been with my boyfriend now for one year and have been friends for eleven on and off. We dated for a while when we first got together back in 1994.

 

When we started going out last year he confessed to me that he had slept with my best mate and felt sorry and bad and did not tell me at the time cause he felt bad about it and did not want to hurt my feelings.

 

Now the thing is we moved quite a distance away from this girl and neither of us have seen her since.

 

But I have found my brother is getting married soon and he lives near this girl, so my boyfriend said whilst he is in the area he is going to look her up and see her, but not with me on his own.

 

Should i worry about his or have i nothing to worry about, due to circumstances before.

[neptoon]

I get a funny feeling about this because he's made the point that he wants to see her alone. After all, you were friends with the girl, too, once ... so what's his problem with seeing her with you? His insistence on seeing her alone makes me question his motives.

[GirlDown]

what exactly is his reasoning for seeing her? THINK ABOUT IT.

 

it's not like it was one of his old friends, she was YOUR friend. well, supposedly, she was.

 

when it comes up, say casually that you if he's going to do this, specifically WITHOUT YOU (red flag) that you are going to go out and find your own fun. he can guess what it means.

 

 

may be he feels the need to see her b/c she didn't handle it well when their affair ended. maybe he wants to see her because she became pregnant with his child and had an abortion and he feels guilty refusing her. these things may seem far-fetched, but they are not. there is a reason he wants or needs to see her WITHOUT YOU. more than likely, to screw her.

 

in any case, F*CK HIM for putting you in the kind of position where you need to wonder, anyway.

 

tell him go see her, have fun. you'll be doing something else, or SOMEONE else. then drop him.

 

good luck.

[suzuki]

the one thing that makes me worry about this situation, he has never cheated on me before and this was the only time as he swore on his sons life.

 

but because it was with this one girl how do i not know that there is some kind of attraction between them and if he did it once he may do it again.

 

i can't help but wonder if i was to go looking up a past friend of mine and told him not to come would he also not think the same thing so how can be so selfish as to put me throught this if he has absolutely nothing to hide.

[supermom]

He cheated on you with her and wants to see her again? HELL NO I wouldn't put up with it. You shouldn't either.

 

There is no reason he should even be wanting to be around her, let alone you allow him to. If he wants to see her that bad, break up with him. Sounds like a selfish person to me anyway.

 

I think that no matter what, once you cheat with someone, you lose that privilege of being able to be friends again, unless you break up with the person you cheated on.

 

What a stupid boy