Says he doesn't care if I DIE

[J_L_C]

My ex-bf sent me a text message today. When I had contact him for that coffee last week, I had indicated I was finally ready to explain the health diagnosis I received. He retorted with the whole "I'm in love with a girl I met on vacation". I haven't contacted him since then, but he texted me today to say "I don't care if you live or die"...in response to my health ordeal.

 

This is something I just cannot believe.

[J_L_C]

I don't think he would have contacted me had I not written him that email. I never plan to contact him again. He wishes I were dead and couldn't care less about the hell on earth I've been going through. My email to him never indicated anything about our 'relationship', other than simply alluding to the fact that it might be nice to catch up and I was finally ready to share what has been going on with me health wise. He hadn't contacted me for months, so I know he wouldn't have contacted me if I hadn't sent that email. Obviously I have nothing left to say to him...EVER. He doesn't care if I die?

[marqueemoon4]

J_L_C, I think it's time you changed your phone number.

 

Yeah, I agree with M_C on that.. or at least see if you can block calls/txt from his number.

[bluegreen]

And I don't believe this to be true she is not telling it all plus after all horrible things she told him .... Lady get a grip you know what is one thing keeping me from making fool of myself : Seeing and remembering his conversations with his friends about one ex a fling better yet that for years drooled over him.

 

He was very clear it was just a fling but she kept on and on

Stop humiliating yourself WE ALL ARE HURTING what are you thinking this whole area is about you NO its not people here had 8 years relationships.

As metal chick said change the freaking number next thing police will show up on your door with restraining order is that what you want ?

 

 

 

Even if he is total scum he has a right to his own mind and choices its not you anymore I think you don't even love him you simply want what you don't have anymore

[bluegreen]

She does not wanna do this metal chick so quit wasting your nerves.

Am kind of person to give last drop of blood to those in need but ......

Whats making me wanna scream is rest of us is at least trying including YOU

and we fill pages and pages telling her to get a clue and she just opens new thread.

Edited June 10, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[J_L_C]

I do not have any contact with anyone in his connection whatsoever. We don't have any mutual friends. I blocked him on Facebook as well as his email, but I don't know how to block his phone number. I called my phone company last week actually, and they told me the carrier doesn't have that feature. I asked them what they do in situations for security purposes and she said I would have to involve the police. There were some apps suggested to me, but none of them worked.

 

Anyway, I have no further intentions of contacting him. There is nothing to contact him about and the dude doesn't even care if I die. I'm the kind of person who can put things aside when it comes down to this sort of thing, no matter what has happened along the way. I would never tell that person I didn't care if they died, when I had shared a close relationship with them, knew they were hurting and knew that the harsh messages only came from that hurt. When that person was reaching out to me to share their health situation with me, I wouldn't push them away and I DEFINITELY couldn't tell them I didn't care if they died. I couldn't live with myself.

[J_L_C]

They never said I couldn't change my number, but they said they couldn't block it.

[J_L_C]

I'm trying but he'll never contact me again. Not if he means it when he says he doesn't care if I die. Those are the last words I'll remember him by a d now when I go in for surgery, I'm left knowing that he just doesn't give a damn. Makes me feel pretty god awful.

[J_L_C]

He wishes I were dead. He won't be contacting me...ever.

[Ordinaryday]

why are you still in contact with him? and why do you let his personal feelings about you bother you so much? to be blunt, if one of my exes contacted me saying they were really sick I WOULD JUST IGNORE THE MESSAGE - 1) either they are just making it up to try and get a reaction out of me, or 2) they are really sick and want to contact me to get sympathy from me and make them feel better and blah blah blah, but that's not my job anymore. when they dumped me they lost the priviledge of me being there for them, and they knew that, I told all my exes when they dumped me "things are over between us. Don't contact me for ANYTHING, unless it is to reconcile"so yeah, to be blunt, I would probably be suspicious if an ex started contacting me telling me they were sick - I certainly wouldn't text them and act all worried about them or nothing, not my job anymore. so why are you in contact with him? and I know this post is going against the standard "oh HE IS SUCH A JERK" type response, but think about it - WHY ARE YOU CONTACTING HIM? I certainly would be annoyed if my ex contacted me to tell me they are sick, because they are obviously trying to get me to be sympathetic to them and since they dumped me IT IS NOT MY JOB TO GIVE THEM SYMPATHY ANYMORE.

[Leigh 87]

Honey, this is all getting seriously unhealthy and toxic.

 

I am completely in love with a guy, I know how hard it is to know that you have to move on from a guy that has a pull on you.

 

I have lost 4 dogs, 6 puppies (adorable ones) and I even had an eating disorder, a deadly one, that I was worried would re surface after my ex left me.

 

You claim you do not even love or like him?

 

Whatever it is you feel, he has a lot of power over you. A lot of us are in your position.

 

We choose to not make our lives so dependant on what our exes feel about us. I am not even close to getting over my idiot ex, yet I simply refuse to let me DAILY happiness be dictated by what HE is feeling.

 

I still do depend on what he thinks to SOME extent, but I am trying to tell myself that I WILL eventually be totally happy if he DOES fall in love right now with a new girl.

 

I know I am worth so much more than his opinion.

 

You cannot see that: a man who care so little about you, is NOT A PERSON who's opinion should matter to you.

Heck, even the exes out there who DO care very much about us, are still not people who's opinions should matter.

 

I am seriously worried about you.

 

I find your posts disturbing. Talking about your ex not caring if you live or die. This is all just so dramatic and extreme.

 

I fear that you need to find the right person to help you.

 

I mean, I am VERY upset. I am utterly heartbroken. I spent every single day for almost 3 years with a man who genuinely wanted to marry me at one stage.

 

EVEN SO. I still do not feel suicidal. I do not feel hopeless.

 

This is all so messed up, the way you're dealing with this jerk.

[eleve82]

J_L_C. Please don't let anyone's harsh words get to you! I understand how difficult it is to believe someone could be so cruel as to say those words and that you just need to voice your frustrations.

 

But this is the reality bite you need to see exactly what kind of person he is.

 

The point is this, changing your number or blocking his is not going to make a damned difference to your hurt. He won't contact you, and even if you contact him, he'll respond in even more viscous and cold hearted ways. You already know the outcome of this.

 

The only person who can make you feel better about this is YOURSELF. Remember that no one can hurt you emotionally without your consent and that his bad behaviour only reflects on HIM.

[bluegreen]

J_L_C. Please don't let anyone's harsh words get to you! I understand how difficult it is to believe someone could be so cruel as to say those words and that you just need to voice your frustrations.

 

But this is the reality bite you need to see exactly what kind of person he is.

 

The point is this, changing your number or blocking his is not going to make a damned difference to your hurt. He won't contact you, and even if you contact him, he'll respond in even more viscous and cold hearted ways. You already know the outcome of this.

 

The only person who can make you feel better about this is YOURSELF. Remember that no one can hurt you emotionally without your consent and that his bad behaviour only reflects on HIM.

 

 

Can you honestly blame the guy?

He has been stalked harassed viciously insulted when he broke up with her

stalked harassed bothered again and that's only half of what we know.

Its been YEAR or so of people telling her this and imagine yourself in position of being stalked for a year who would not go insane on her?

[Leigh 87]

bluegreen - I totally understand where you're coming from. It has been a whole YEAR since he broke up with her, and jerked off while she was crying her eyes out:sick: And then got with another girl right away.

 

It is frustrating that after a whole year, she still LETS him rule her life to this extent.

 

There are nasty and ruthless people out there... There are people who hang puppies and have NO empathy. There are people who truly do not care if you die. Some people would want you to die.

There are thousands. Millions of people out there that would not care if she died. We are all in the same boat.

 

It just bothers her incredibly, that this one person does not care about her AT ALL. It bothers her he cares to little, to the extent that if she dies, he would not care.

 

Instead of living for herself, and living to connect with people who WOULD care about her, and certainly be sad if she died; she is living for a guy who does not care.

 

Why is she living so much for a dude that is pure evil?

 

I also agree that he would be annoyed with her by now. He has made it as clear as day that he is not in love with her and he does not even care about her on any level.

 

Yet she still continued to text and call him

 

...............................................................

 

 

OP, I understand how it feels to not love yourself. Personally, I think I am a pretty awesome woman:lmao: Yet I still do not LOVE Myself.

 

I know what it is like to lose self respect and to care too much about what a guy is to you. I could not leave a guy because I was in love and did not have enough self respect.

I know what it is like to depend TOO MUCH on a guy, to the point where it is too hard to walk away from them; it is really because you're own life is lacking.

 

I think THIS OP should seriously take steps towards loving herself and making her life stable and happy.

 

Once she is happy enough in her own life, she will NOT NEED some JERK in her life.

[Leigh 87]

He did jerk off after he broke up with her, as she was crying her eyes out.

 

He is a little evil.

 

I agree though, if a guy shows no interest in you, it is YOUR fault if you choose to still have him in your life. This man clearly showed the OP that he is not in love with her and he never will be.

 

The problem with the OP, and something I am also suffering from myself, is that she does not love herself enough to live her life happily without HIS opinion and without HIS feelings, mattering to her.

 

She really needs to learn to love herself and embrace who she is, and be proud to show it to the world.

 

I think it sounds like she has some kind of chemical imbalance, to be frank. She sounds depressed and genuinely hopeless about her own life.

 

I think we have a cause for concern here. I mean look, I am VERY upset. VERY. But I do not think my life is hopeless and I am still happy in general even without the guy that was everything to me.

 

I worry that he OP does not have the tools to learn to be happy on her own, without this guy having any bearing on her.

[tbf]

If you have BPD, or know someone with BPD, I'd love to get a discussion started on here about it.

 

I was diagnosed less than 2 years ago. This was tough because I'm in my 30's and always knew something was up, but didn't have a word for it until now.

 

Do any of you struggle with abandonment? Rejection?

 

Also, do you any of you constantly worry about things and then think, think and over-think them to the point where you are exhausted?

 

Do you think things through SO MUCH that they become a reality in your mind even if they really aren't?

JLC, this is an important component to why you're having such difficulties moving on. Are you in therapy?

[bluegreen]

JLC, this is an important component to why you're having such difficulties moving on. Are you in therapy?

 

 

And I was right

not that I have anything against people being Ill but there is your answer.

[tbf]

Is BPD bipolar disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder?

 

Either one requires therapy as standard treatment protocol.

BPD is borderline. Bipolar is bipolar.

[Ordinaryday]

So WHY are we still doing this ?

 

to be blunt, I DON'T CARE whether my ex dies. she dumped me in a heartless way, she was cruel and nasty to me throughout our relationship, so if I heard tomorrow that she had died I am not going to lie and say that I would be crying for a week and screaming at the injustice of it.

 

I would probably think something like "oh that's a shame" and then completely forget about it. my ex is NOTHING to me anymore, and thus if she died I doubt I would care, and even if I did care it would not be much. I am certain she feels the same way.

 

she dumped me, she is no longer a part of my life, so why on earth would I get cut up over hearing that she died?

 

does this sound harsh? good, because it is the truth

[J_L_C]

I'm just done living in this pain. Nobody believes the hurt and despair I feel. If I actually go through with it and end things, it'll be better than this hell on earth I'm living now.

[Ordinaryday]

Oh I would contact him all right. I'd send him the nastiest dirtiest message I could muster to take back my self esteem. Everything from insulting his c*ck, to his mother for raising a jerk off like that. I would tell him he better hope I really do die because if He EVER spoke that way to me again I'd open his head up with a tire iron. Then I would get a new phone number and Cut him out of my life permanently. If he tried to contact me third party in any way I'd tell who ever it was I was suck from him giving me a disease....

 

Don't play nice with people who wish death on you, you empty both barrels on unempathetic trash like that.

 

Awesome! I would LOVE it if an ex did that to me because it would prove once and for all that I GOT TO THEM, that they still think about me and that they are STILL HURTING! That would feel so much better than them just ignoring me, and it would be such a huge ego boost for me, because no matter what the letter said all I would read was "I AM STILL HURTING OVER YOU".

 

so please do that, I am sure this ex has not had his ego stroked enough yet

[bluegreen]

Its not OK yet it happens that we all have that one last ugly fight but point is ONE.

We don't do this for year on daily bases or more then once.

No one is a rock when someone does something bad to you it hurts you hurt back its natural BUT imagine having this done for a year ?

 

And that's what she does she keeps attacking he runs she begs he runs she attacks some more he turns on her and rips her apart BUT is what she says true any of it ?

 

I think not

[Ordinaryday]

Quite the contrary, I'm extremely giving and compassionate and will take my shirt off my back for someone. I try to love everyone, the only way I feel animosity is for those who willfully repeatedly hurt others. Because I'm not by nature confrontational, when I'm telling someone to F off ten ways from Sunday it's not because I "care" in Any way, it's because I'm seriously taking back the niceties I shared and summing up for them what trash I think they are now.

 

I give everything I have in a relationship, so it's my way of unrolling the carpet and going about my way. I've given the "go in a hole and die" speech to a handful of people in my life, people who I do NOT talk with in any way shape or form (because they mean nothing to me). They also are aware if they try to engage me there will be serious consequences because I am not a silent willful victim. I kinda have a Malcolm x philosophy: "be kind, be courteous, love your neighbor, but if someone deliberately tries to hurt you, put them in the cemetery."

 

awesome - and when they never ever respond to the diatribe you spent two hours writing you will feel terrible, BECAUSE YOU WANTED A RESPONSE. I have had exes send me rants and I just ignored them, and then later on they sent me ANOTHER text, asking if I received their rant and if so, why hadn't I responded. I ignored that text as well. when you reach out to someone, even rudely, you are giving them power because no matter how much you will deny it there is a small (or maybe large) part of you that wants a response - if you didn't u wouldnt even be sending it. and then if you don't get the response YOU WILL BE EVEN MORE HURT! Maybe it is only a small small part but when you send someone something like this YOU WANT A RESPONSE.

 

The one thing my ex did to me that hurt me the most was ignoring me - we were arguing over something, by text, and I sent her something angrily and I thought I would get a response - I was kind of expecting an apology from her, because what I sent her basically blamed her for a few things, and I was SURE she would see it my way. She just ignored it, NEVER RESPONDED AT ALL. God, that hurt so much more than ANYTHING she could have responded with - if she responded rudely I could have thought "oh well, she is a bitch, who needs her" and if she responded nicely I could have though "HOW DARE SHE ACT ALL NICE AFTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED" and either response would have allowed me to place the blame on HER. but no reponse gave me NOTHING!

 

So yeah, no matter what you say I can say firsthand that silence from an ex hurts SO MUCH MORE than any rude words could. because rude words say that THEY AT LEAST CARED ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO BOTHER TYPING OUT THE LETTER, silence says that you are so unimportant and meaningless to them that you are NOT EVEN WORTH THE TWO MINUTES IT TAKES TO TYPE A RESPONSE. So please, send your ex that nasty letter, HE NEEDS THAT EGO BOOST.

[Simon Phoenix]

Actually i don't believe he is evil at all its HER that's issue.

We all had nasty words said heard been there done that but at one point you stop and don't go there anymore !!!

And she keeps going she actually keeps going ?

With every word out of her mouth I feel sorrier for the guy do you see how she ignores what I say in every post because its true I called her bluff

 

He's pretty awful. I don't think you know the backstory on this one. J_L_C has huge issues, but her ex is a monster. If you knew the backstory you would have no sympathy for this man.

[bluegreen]

awesome - and when they never ever respond to the diatribe you spent two hours writing you will feel terrible, BECAUSE YOU WANTED A RESPONSE. I have had exes send me rants and I just ignored them, and then later on they sent me ANOTHER text, asking if I received their rant and if so, why hadn't I responded. I ignored that text as well. when you reach out to someone, even rudely, you are giving them power because no matter how much you will deny it there is a small (or maybe large) part of you that wants a response - if you didn't u wouldnt even be sending it. and then if you don't get the response YOU WILL BE EVEN MORE HURT! Maybe it is only a small small part but when you send someone something like this YOU WANT A RESPONSE.

 

The one thing my ex did to me that hurt me the most was ignoring me - we were arguing over something, by text, and I sent her something angrily and I thought I would get a response - I was kind of expecting an apology from her, because what I sent her basically blamed her for a few things, and I was SURE she would see it my way. She just ignored it, NEVER RESPONDED AT ALL. God, that hurt so much more than ANYTHING she could have responded with - if she responded rudely I could have thought "oh well, she is a bitch, who needs her" and if she responded nicely I could have though "HOW DARE SHE ACT ALL NICE AFTER WHAT HAS HAPPENED" and either response would have allowed me to place the blame on HER. but no reponse gave me NOTHING!

 

So yeah, no matter what you say I can say firsthand that silence from an ex hurts SO MUCH MORE than any rude words could. because rude words say that THEY AT LEAST CARED ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO BOTHER TYPING OUT THE LETTER, silence says that you are so unimportant and meaningless to them that you are NOT EVEN WORTH THE TWO MINUTES IT TAKES TO TYPE A RESPONSE. So please, send your ex that nasty letter, HE NEEDS THAT EGO BOOST.

 

 

Exactly or if they respond it will be UGLY

I think its very wise and strong one who can realize when to stop argument

I did not do that very well at all