5 Months Ago I Met This Beautiful Woman Who Happened To Be Married.

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden thank you for your support. I plan on sending MW an email Mday and see what happens.

[TaraMaiden]

I'm serious about the email. You need, and deserve to know where you stand.

That at least would be your right, after the way she left things.

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden that's what I am looking for. If I get I don't want to see you anymore or I can't see you anymore then I good with that and I move on, but in my email I say hi how are you doing? and MW answers I am doing OK, how are you? I know there's a good chance for me still.

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden yes i do deserve to know one or the other

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden yes I can see that you are, so am I and Mday she will get my email. I know she checks her email daily cause i still have the password to it and she knows I do. I know MW phone is off, but if she knows I have the password to her email why didn't MW change the password also?

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden what happens when I email MW and I ask for a reply and I don't get a reply. What do you think I should think or do then?

[TaraMaiden]

That's the whole point of asking for the reply.

If you don't get a reply, the high chances are that you've been blocked.

 

if you have access to her email, check the trash or spam bin. if your mail is in there - that's your answer.

 

You are either off limits - or she's implemented NC with no view whatsoever of contacting you any time soon.

In fact, is her mailbox still active?

Or is the address non existent?

 

I doubt very much it would be sitting in her inbox.....

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden I have looked at MW's email a lot and I can tell you I am not blocked. I have a app on my phone that send her a text message once in a while and I have seen that in her inbox not deleted or in spam. So i know she reads them or sees them. So I am going to do that Monday for sure.

[gross1016]

I guess nobody here has anything more to say to me. Just want to thank everyone who put some suggestions out there for me, it is good to know that there are people that care about you and want to see you feel better about what's going on with me. If anyone has more to add or just wants to chat I am here to do that still. Need you guys still. :-)

[gross1016]

LFH, Yes, I going to try and send it Monday. First I am going to ask how MW is doing, Then I am going to ask MW what do you want from me? There are 2 possibilities that could happen, one she say replies don't email me again, i don't or cant see you anymore which I am prepared for or the second is MW replies I am doing fine or ok and she ask how are you? then I know there is chance still. that where I am going with this email.

[TaraMaiden]

Because that's probably when her H will be on the road.

[gross1016]

Monday because I know MW will be home and gives me more time to think about what to write if I want add more then I just wrote here. Right now I am really nervous or should I say scared to send the email not knowing what the out come is going to be. Is that what I should be feeling?

[TaraMaiden]

Monday because I know MW will be home and gives me more time to think about what to write if I want add more then I just wrote here. Right now I am really nervous or should I say scared to send the email not knowing what the out come is going to be. Is that what I should be feeling?

 

No.

What you should be feeling is something else entirely, but you've proven yourself immune to good advice, so I'll just wait alongside everyone else for the other shoe to drop.....

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden what should i be feeling right now

[Owl]

I'd suggest that asking us how you should be feeling isn't going to give you an answer you want to hear.

 

My other thought is that I don't understand why you feel you need some kind of follow up from her. She told you that there's no further contact since she's working on her marriage...and she's not contacted you since.

 

Why is that not enough answer for you?

 

She made her wants clear...I'd suggest you let it go until/unless she contacts you first.

 

Odds are...if you contact her, you're running a major risk that her H finds out about that contact and this sets their efforts back further, creating more strife and pain in her life. Which I'm ASSUMING here that you're not wanting to do to her.

 

Accept what she's told you, honor her request, and walk away.

[TaraMaiden]

You should be feeling that contacting her would be a bad idea, particularly as she's already told you she's not supposed to be in touch with you.

Why do that to her?

 

If she really IS trying to rebuild her marriage, you should respect that.

If she at any time feels she can't rebuild her marriage - she will be back onto you like a shot.

You should respect that.

 

Move on with your own life.

let her be.

Quit tearing her apart.

 

You should respect that.

[aliveagain]

Bad marriage, husband travels(so he can support his family), 3 children under 10, wants you to stop contacting her so she can work on her marriage, this is the best you can do, this is your only hope for happiness? You would destroy a marriage, separate 3 children from their parents because there is no one else on the planet that will meet your needs? Have you thought this through, do you know what it takes to raise 3 children full time? Do you know how expensive they are at this age, they outgrow their cloths every six months, school supplies, medical, dental, bicycles, cubs, scouts, guides, sports and associate equipment, it won't be long before you need to decide about their college. You will need a bigger home, bigger payment. They will resent you for breaking up their home, honest. The unicorn and rainbow fantasy that you have in your mind will not match the reality of everyday with 3 children under 10. Don't forget, the man who's wife your stealing will be in your life, he has rights to his children. Why don't you find someone that you can start your own family with, stop causing drama, stop being the third wheel.

[gross1016]

Because Owl I believe that it wasn't MW speaking, it was her MM words that she was speaking. Owl MW said I am not supposed to see you, that's not I don't want to see. Yes I do not want to hurt or create more pain for MW, but I also would like to know one way or the other because I feel that I am not suppose to see is not a don't or can't see you to me.

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden i understand what your saying I really do. I am moving on slowly, I just don't sit around thinking of ways to contact MW, I don't, I keep busy and when I not doing well I have you guys here to chat with or my friends around here.

 

aliveagain I do understand what it would take to raise three kids, been there done that with two, and yes I know MM would be in there somewhere i get it.

[Owl]

Because Owl I believe that it wasn't MW speaking, it was her MM words that she was speaking. Owl MW said I am not supposed to see you, that's not I don't want to see. Yes I do not want to hurt or create more pain for MW, but I also would like to know one way or the other because I feel that I am not suppose to see is not a don't or can't see you to me.

 

The "NC between affair partners" probably did ORIGINATE from him.

 

You're right...she's accepting his requirement of no contact between the two of you again...if she wants to remain married to him.

 

Not her words...her decision. Her CHOICE.

 

She has/had the option of ending her marriage and continuing contact with you.

 

Where is she at right now? Is she talking with you? Q.E.D.

 

You're reading more into it because you don't want to accept what's happening.

 

If she wanted to be with you, she had her chance...had her choice...and she's clearly chosen her marriage over being with you.

[gross1016]

LFH I know what your saying, and yes I know that it could be a bad idea. Yes LFH I probably should have asked those questions at that time and this whole thing would be a lot clearer. Your right that in saying it should be by phone or in person. I should have insisted that we talked in that way when I got the email. My situation is the hardest thing that I have every have did before, it just makes feel crappy, nervous, just not liking myself much at all.

[TaraMaiden]

Then don't contact her.

That's pure selfishness.

 

You're just doing it to break the silence and to make yourself feel 'connected' with her again.

 

If you have an ounce of dignity and respect within you, you will accommodate her request to keep away and not talk to her.

 

We repeat:

 

If she really wants to contact you - she knows how to.

 

She has decided not to.

 

To contact her would most definitely be an extremely disrespectful and reckless thing to do.

 

This is one time you have to set your own wishes aside and abide by her decision.

 

And her decision is clear: She has chosen her H.

 

 

Not you.

 

Live with it.

[gross1016]

Owl I know it was her choice, but there is just something that tells me that there is more to it. when she says I am not supposed to see. It doesn't make sense if you look up what suppose means. If I am in her shoes I would have said I don't want to see you anymore I am trying to fix my marriage, and its done. But to me that's not what she meant. Sorry to disagree with you again.

[TaraMaiden]

I love that, in all of this - in her staying with her husband - in her testing your loyalty - in her not contacting you at all - in her choosing to stay with her family - you have latched onto this single little phrase, and its single little word: "Supposed".

 

In all of this composite of Actions - which speak louder than words - the one thing you are desperately clinging to by the tips of your fingernails, is "I'm not supposed to talk to you."

[gross1016]

TaraMaiden yes I am because it doesn't make sense to me. Let me ask you, if you didn't want to see or talk to your MW or MM wouldn't you have said I don't want to see you or talk to you again leave me alone. Wouldn't you say that?