Girlfriend cheated through Craigslist.

[Rsmith89]

Here goes nothing I guess... This girl that I've been dating for the past 2 years recently cheated on me through a casual encounters posting she responded to on craigslist. Disgusting I know, I'm repulsed even by talking about it.

 

I had no idea as I had recently moved in about 2 months prior to this happening, I am 24 and she is 23, she is unemployed due to being laid off, this happened during the time I was at work. I did have access to her email account as she knows because she has allowed me to use it before.

 

I had texted her asking what she was doing about an hour or two before my shift was over, she replied "Running errands". Once my shift had ended I gave her a call and recieved no response, texts or anything. I checked her email once I did make it home to see the craigslist postings about an older man offering oral to women locally a long with a few replies(I won't bother going into details).

 

I was furious so I sent a few texts letting her know i was done with it and leaving. Soon after i recieved lots of calls and texts with her apologizing and saying it was a mistake and she just wanted to "try it" she seemed stuck on all that happened was he went down on her, bare in mind she was missing about an hour so why should i believe her? She threatened to run the car off the road she was so upset, she had driven about 45 minutes to a hotel to meet this scumbag. It took me a few nights before i could even consider forgiving her but eventually i gave way and did.

 

Now I feel stuck, trust is not there anymore and Im not even sexually active with her, previously we were active nearly daily and sometimes more, which confuses me why she had to cheat when she seemed more than satisfied with what I'm giving her.

 

 

I'm to the point where I'm honestly fed up with females altogether, I had been faithful to her, always caring and loving. I know I cant judge all females by the actions of one...but with everything I've seen I just feel like being alone is the best route...so lost.

[TaraMaiden]

Sorry pal, but -

 

You clearly have not forgiven her, and you can't forget. Trust is gone.

 

I think you should end it.

 

This isn't going to go away with a mere apology and an "Ok well, just don't do it again..."

 

You feel stuck, but harshly speaking, that's your fault, not hers.

You CHOSE to accept her entreaties to stay together and work this out, but it's clearly not happening, and this is just going to eat at you until either you cheat, or she does.

 

Again.

 

Go.

Leave.

Quit this charade, and go No Contact.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

Here goes nothing I guess... This girl that I've been dating for the past 2 years recently cheated on me through a casual encounters posting she responded to on craigslist. Disgusting I know, I'm repulsed even by talking about it.

 

I had no idea as I had recently moved in about 2 months prior to this happening, I am 24 and she is 23, she is unemployed due to being laid off, this happened during the time I was at work. I did have access to her email account as she knows because she has allowed me to use it before.

 

I had texted her asking what she was doing about an hour or two before my shift was over, she replied "Running errands". Once my shift had ended I gave her a call and recieved no response, texts or anything. I checked her email once I did make it home to see the craigslist postings about an older man offering oral to women locally a long with a few replies(I won't bother going into details).

 

I was furious so I sent a few texts letting her know i was done with it and leaving. Soon after i recieved lots of calls and texts with her apologizing and saying it was a mistake and she just wanted to "try it" she seemed stuck on all that happened was he went down on her, bare in mind she was missing about an hour so why should i believe her? She threatened to run the car off the road she was so upset, she had driven about 45 minutes to a hotel to meet this scumbag. It took me a few nights before i could even consider forgiving her but eventually i gave way and did.

 

Now I feel stuck, trust is not there anymore and Im not even sexually active with her, previously we were active nearly daily and sometimes more, which confuses me why she had to cheat when she seemed more than satisfied with what I'm giving her.

 

 

I'm to the point where I'm honestly fed up with females altogether, I had been faithful to her, always caring and loving. I know I cant judge all females by the actions of one...but with everything I've seen I just feel like being alone is the best route...so lost.

 

Man, you really have got to be kidding me.

 

Let me ask you something: do you really think that this is the first time that she did something like this? Unlikely. You just caught her.

 

Have some self-respect and drop her now. If not for yourself, do it for the next guy she dates.

 

Show her that her actions have consequences.

 

After that, you really have to screen girls to see if they're committment-worthy (most are not).

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

You feel stuck, but harshly speaking, that's your fault, not hers.

 

This is false.

 

OP, it's her fault, not yours.

 

Next time she threatens to drive off a cliff, tell her you'll miss her when she does so.

 

Not kidding.

[TaraMaiden]

No.

It's his fault he's feeling stuck.

 

her fault was being a lying cheat.

 

If he played back into the relationship, that's on him.

He really should have been more honest with himself and ended it then.

 

I'm curious therefore as to what on earth actually made him give her a second chance/take her back?

 

Why?

[Rsmith89]

No.

It's his fault he's feeling stuck.

 

her fault was being a lying cheat.

 

If he played back into the relationship, that's on him.

He really should have been more honest with himself and ended it then.

 

I'm curious therefore as to what on earth actually made him give her a second chance/take her back?

 

Why?

 

 

At the time, I was feeling depressed\upset with the whole situation, I really just wanted that one person I could talk to back, i guess thinking that way blinded me from the reality of it all. I know it was a mistake in the first place.

 

I think alot of it also was pity. She had recently went through losing her mother and is living with a father who is terminal with cancer. Feels wrong to just leave someone in that situation....

[TaraMaiden]

Right, but you can see though, can't you, that both those reasons aren't the 'right reasons' for which to take her back?

 

If this is something you think both of you could work on, seriously, then I suggest you both consider counselling as a serious necessary option.

If you don't believe this relationship is established, deep or serious enough - and the effort would be disproportionate for the potential, then, break up.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

At the time, I was feeling depressed\upset with the whole situation, I really just wanted that one person I could talk to back, i guess thinking that way blinded me from the reality of it all. I know it was a mistake in the first place.

 

I think alot of it also was pity. She had recently went through losing her mother and is living with a father who is terminal with cancer. Feels wrong to just leave someone in that situation....

 

So this justifies her cheating on you?

 

Ditch her bro. This is crazy talk.

[Eclypse]

I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole. That site is the epitome of STDS.

 

But everyone there is D/D free (or so they say)! And yes I do sometimes go through the listings. I can't believe the OPs gf cheated on THAT site. That's like a double whammy:|

[ChessPieceFace]

OP, have some shred of self-respect and separate yourself from this lying cheater.

[aliveagain]

What do you want from the relationship? Most woman won't have sex with someone unless there is some connection, unlike men. She drove to meet a stranger in a hotel, have sex(oral is sex) and somehow convinced herself that this was OK. The fact that she drove almost an hour to meet him tells me she may have done this before or researched how to have an affair. When I was researching how waywards who have multiple affairs choose their partners(trying to understand my wayward), they say to choose an affair partner that lives a minimum of 40 miles away. There is less chance of running into someone you know in the bar, restaurant, hotel, they can act like a regular couple. The hotel could be somewhere in the middle, he could live 40 miles away in the opposite direction. This was no one night drunken mistake, she planned this, even with all the pain of her mother and father that was going on. Didn't stop her from spreading for him. RS, you can get STD's from oral, there is still an exchange of liquids as well as penetration. This girl is broken and it's not your job to fix her. This is not the girl you settle down with and raise a family with.

[aliveagain]

Just one more thing, if she knows POS's real name, if he is married and where he is from, expose him. The really big question, "why was she trolling on Craigslist?" Just how happy or unhappy does one have to be to search a cheating hook up site, then actually act on it? Everything she did was premeditated, nothing was left to chance. When you contacted her before the sex she gave you some bull**** line about errands, she could have stopped at that point but chose not to. There is your answer, she wanted to have the old dude to go down on her regardless of you or your feelings. You nor your relationship were enough to stop her.

Edited June 10, 2013 by aliveagain

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

What do you want from the relationship? Most woman won't have sex with someone unless there is some connection, unlike men. She drove to meet a stranger in a hotel, have sex(oral is sex) and somehow convinced herself that this was OK. The fact that she drove almost an hour to meet him tells me she may have done this before or researched how to have an affair. When I was researching how waywards who have multiple affairs choose their partners(trying to understand my wayward), they say to choose an affair partner that lives a minimum of 40 miles away. There is less chance of running into someone you know in the bar, restaurant, hotel, they can act like a regular couple. The hotel could be somewhere in the middle, he could live 40 miles away in the opposite direction. This was no one night drunken mistake, she planned this, even with all the pain of her mother and father that was going on. Didn't stop her from spreading for him. RS, you can get STD's from oral, there is still an exchange of liquids as well as penetration. This girl is broken and it's not your job to fix her. This is not the girl you settle down with and raise a family with.

 

I'm sorry, but the bolded is false.

 

That is a myth pushed on us by society. Women are just as likely to have random sex with someone as men are.

 

In fact, these days, women basically have become the new men. Lots of casual sex without commitment or connection, while men are more relationship-oriented.

[aliveagain]

The optimum word is "most." I have had 4 cheaters in my life and most had affairs that went on for a period of time, one was two years. They had to feel a connection with OP and it wasn't as much about the sex as much the way affair partner made them feel. A really broken person or a sex addict goes to meet strangers in hotels for just sex.

[will1988]

That is the lowest of the low... responding to a sexual add on craigslist. This makes me believe that your gf was doing this sort of thing before. Going on craigslist to look for sex is something only desperate people and perverts do (trust me, check it out if you want a laugh). I had an ex-buddy who used to pick chicks up this way, and he was a scum bag in all terms of the word. One story was funny though, he responded to an add for a hot blonde MILF, turned out to be a fat hairy 50 year old dude wearing red lingerie and a blonde wig... he says he ran, but who knew with him! Anyway, your gf was obviously not satisfied with the sex you were providing and was on the prowel for sex. Why else would she be on that part of craigslist, and especially responding to the ads?

 

Dude you need to leave her, now! She is a cheating _______! Plus, you have no idea how many people she has slept with via craigslist!

[BeholdtheMan]

It took me a few nights before i could even consider forgiving her but eventually i gave way and did.

What the...I don't even...why?!

 

Have you no self-respect? Grow a pair and move on!!! Dude, seriously I feel for you but I'm not one to mince words. You need a kick up the rear right now to shock you out of door mat mode.

 

She bangs someone she met on Craiglist and you're still sticking around? Move on please, for the sake of your own dignity.

[Zahara]

I'd crawl on broken glass to get as far as I can from someone that had some old scummy dirtbag all up in their punani. Sick.

 

OP, find your balls and get out. Her difficult situation is not your concern because she gave up having you as a supportive partner the day she betrayed you. Loyalty is noble but know when to serve it.