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Dh is very disrespectful to his mom, what can I do?


StillHurtin

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My mil is a wonderful woman! I couldn't of asked for a better mil. At times I don't agree w/ things she says or does, but she is wonderful. She has been so good to me and our children. The problem is, my dh is VERY disrespectful towards her. I will just post the most recent problem. My mil flew in to see ds for his bday next week. She invited us out to eat 2nite but we have been gone all day for my children's games. I am tired and the kids just want to stay home. I told her that she can take dh out to eat and enjoy some mom and son time together. My mil got ready and dh was sitting in his recliner. She walked into the LR and said "Ready?" and dh yells "I HAVE BEEN READY!" ERRR! And she just let him talk to her like that. She wont allow my kids to talk to her like that (nor should she) so why does she allow her own ds to yell at her like that. He is an only child and I think she may think he will hate her if she stands up for herself. He has yelled at her so many times since we have been married (12 times). I have told him he is very disrespectful to her and he shouldn't be, she is his mom and has done so much for us. If I ever spoke to my mom like that she would slap me and I wouldn't blame her. I never even yelled at my own mom like this when I was a child and teenager. I did one time and she popped me in the mouth. I have never yelled at her again.

I know it hurts my mil to have her own child treat her like this. What can I do? I can't sit here and let him treat her like this.

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You are not in charge of your husband. He and his mother are the ones to work it out, if anything is to be worked out. You can suggest to him that he change his ways, but you have no right to say that you will 'let' him do something or not.

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  • 4 months later...

If it were me.......I know what i would do and say:) I would tell husband in private that when he talks to his mother in such a disrespectful way not only does he sound like an ignorant ass, he is setting a bad example for your kids because if they see this and try it with you they'd get a smack. and finally i'd tell him that everytime you see him treat a woman like that you lose respect for him(then i'd throw in the pride saver) and you know that he is too wonderful of a man to not be able to be kind to an elderly woman who loved him. And you'd hate to see him regret this behavior in later years after she was gone. Suggest perhaps he has just not realized that he is repeating a pattern that started in childhood and should now behave like a "man" .

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