TMichaels Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 He only came clean when you caught him. Yep. And what's more, the only thing he's sorry about is the fact he got caught. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Actually, I couldn't care less if he did that while he was high or not. And I'll tell you why. If he was heavily high, he wouldn't have remembered. He did remember. So he knew what he did, but didn't cancel the profile. He left it on and running. So I guess the only reason why he kept it on and running was because he was getting contacts from it......... by email. That's also why the fact that he didn't log in again is insignificant. Not to mention, he easily could have additional profiles on the same site or others the OP just hasn't discovered yet. Or, be using a totally email address unknown to the OP to retrieve and answer emails as you pointed out. Bottom line, I wouldn't trust this guy as far as I could throw him. Talk is cheap. How a person acts, reacts and treats others tells you what kind of person they really are. Best, TMichaels 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Not to mention, he easily could have additional profiles on the same site or others the OP just hasn't discovered yet. Or, be using a totally email address unknown to the OP to retrieve and answer emails as you pointed out. Yeah, I thought of that too. I didn't say anything about that, as it already seemed too many irons in the fire as it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 Yeah, I thought of that too. I didn't say anything about that, as it already seemed too many irons in the fire as it is. Man, I looked. I really want to find these. Not only to throw them in his face but to be able to know the truth. I even tried searching profiles on random hookup sites but still couldn't find anything. Sadly they're probably there but I guess I'm not that crafty yet. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveBytes Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I've been dating my boyfriend long distance for 2 years. This August I am supposed to move in with him so we can drop the long distance issue and see if our relationship will work. However, recently he came clean about smoking weed behind my back. It's something I'm not okay with. I know weed is "innocent" and all of that jazz but I just personally don't want to date someone who's smoking/buying weed. How did I found out? I came across a dating profile of his on an escort website (casual hookups) by Googling his email. I was looking for something else. When I confronted him about it, he denied it. Said he didn't make it. Lied to me over and over. Finally, he came clean. Saying the reason he lied was because he made it when he was high and didn't want the weed habit to come out as he knew I'd get mad. He never used the profile. Last log in/created date was the same. So I gave him another chance because he did not use it. But it really is driving me crazy still. High or not, I don't know why he did it. I know he gets lonely but I will be there soon. And I'm not sure how much weed really played a role in all of this. Was the weed thing just an excuse? Or could he really have been that high? We can get past the weed thing. But the escort thing I'm not sure about. First off, there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to date someone that smokes or sells weed, it's called having personal standards, and everyone has that right to decide what they do and do not want in a significant other. The biggest concern here is the fact he would make a profile on a site like that. I am a lover of the giggle smoke, and I don't see how it would drive me to go to an escort website and create an account if I am in a happy relationship. Very lame excuse on his part, and most likely bull****. I can really relate to this from my own current long distance relationship. My boyfriend has contacted ex's and blamed it on being drunk and claiming he didn't even remember doing it. We want to believe them, but I think doing so is allowing a major insult to our intelligence. Trust is a huge factor in any relationship, long distance ones just make it a little harder and I understand the Googling! Wah! I have done it myself... The bottom line is, you know something is not right with this situation, or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Go with your gut and good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 First off, there is nothing wrong with you not wanting to date someone that smokes or sells weed, it's called having personal standards, and everyone has that right to decide what they do and do not want in a significant other. The biggest concern here is the fact he would make a profile on a site like that. I am a lover of the giggle smoke, and I don't see how it would drive me to go to an escort website and create an account if I am in a happy relationship. Very lame excuse on his part, and most likely bull****. I can really relate to this from my own current long distance relationship. My boyfriend has contacted ex's and blamed it on being drunk and claiming he didn't even remember doing it. We want to believe them, but I think doing so is allowing a major insult to our intelligence. Trust is a huge factor in any relationship, long distance ones just make it a little harder and I understand the Googling! Wah! I have done it myself... The bottom line is, you know something is not right with this situation, or you wouldn't be here asking for advice. Go with your gut and good luck You're right. He keeps saying how it was just a mistake and that he wasn't thinking. That's all he says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 Just wanted to give a quick update. I broke things off today. He's confused, mad, doesn't understand. But I feel like this is just what I need to do. Even though I'm heartbroken over this. Thank you all for your help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 I know it must hurt. he kind of forced you into a corner.... Read my NC thread (see my signature/link). It's written from the perspective of a dumpee.... but in this case, you practically are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 I know it must hurt. he kind of forced you into a corner.... Read my NC thread (see my signature/link). It's written from the perspective of a dumpee.... but in this case, you practically are. Thank you for seeing that!! I do feel like the dumpee. I deleted a folder of pictures, texts, etc. today and cried for like an hour. Moving forward. Link to post Share on other sites
undergroundlife13 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Why dont you log in if you know his email and "password" youll find out if hes being truthful. I smoke weed and i would never join a site like that cause i was high. Its an excuse. Good job on ending it, but i have a feeling he wont give up.. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 I don't personally see the point in doing that... it would just prolong the agony, and if she's now ended it, then really it would just be a painful exercise, for little return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 Why dont you log in if you know his email and "password" youll find out if hes being truthful. I smoke weed and i would never join a site like that cause i was high. Its an excuse. Good job on ending it, but i have a feeling he wont give up.. Well, I feel like he took advantage of me for the sole fact that I don't smoke weed. I'm not trying to attack people that do smoke. That's fine. Live your life. But if my boyfriend is trying to hook up with girls when he smokes, that's a problem with me. Honestly, I could work with the smoking. But will not tolerate the "profile". He's not giving up blaming it on the weed. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Honestly, I could work with the smoking. Why should you? You already know he'll use it as an excuse whenever he doesn't want to accept responsibility for his actions. But will not tolerate the "profile". He's not giving up blaming it on the weed. Oh, so he's constantly high then? Otherwise, once he sobered up he would have deleted the profile. But, I'm sure he has an excuse for that, too. Bottom line babyb3, there's no trust left in your relationship. Without that you have nothing especially in a LDR. He made his bed, and now he's lying in it. Stick to your guns and keep moving. You've already wasted enough of your time. Best, TMichaels 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author babyb3 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Why should you? You already know he'll use it as an excuse whenever he doesn't want to accept responsibility for his actions. Oh, so he's constantly high then? Otherwise, once he sobered up he would have deleted the profile. But, I'm sure he has an excuse for that, too. Bottom line babyb3, there's no trust left in your relationship. Without that you have nothing especially in a LDR. He made his bed, and now he's lying in it. Stick to your guns and keep moving. You've already wasted enough of your time. Best, TMichaels Yes. The funny thing about all this is that I'm doing NC and he's acting so shocked. Lol. I'm sad of course. But shocked? Really? He's crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 Yes. The funny thing about all this is that I'm doing NC and he's acting so shocked. Lol. I'm sad of course. But shocked? Really? He's crazy. Not surprising. Reality isn't a state he seems that comfortable with. As long as professes "to be shocked" it gets the onus off him for accepting responsibility for the part he played in the break-up. You've said you've gone NC, but obviously he still has ways of contacting you. You really need to block his number, mark his emails as spam, delete him on any Instant Messenger, etc. While watching him "twist in the wind" does bring a certain amount of revengeful satisfaction, if you're going to successfully move on, you need to clean house and get him totally off your radar screen. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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