I've been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder

[dsw31]

Well I have been seeing a therapist since October & all the puzzle pieces have finally been put into place.It all makes sense now! .After my breakup last year,I found this place & it helped me tremendously.You guys made me realize that I have a problem & I went to get a professional opinion.I most likely have NPD too.

 

I hope you guys don't put me down.Frankly,it would really hurt me.My reasoning for posting this is to help others & to answer any questions that I can.

[jphcbpa]

very proud of you and your journey. stay the course and keep working hard, loving yourself and taking care of you.

[Mack05]

U have won half the battle. Admitance to the problem...now with hard work u can fullfill your potential..kudos to being so brave...

[Grumpybutfun]

OP- I hope no one would ever put anyone down for trying to take care of their health. It is a shame that more attention isn't paid to mental health since it would also help with many physical health issues. After all, even mainstream health professionals are starting to admit to a connection between mind and body, something the east has known for years with derision from the west.

I think you are very brave to share your story.

Grumps

[J_L_C]

I was diagnosed with BPD only a few years ago. I always knew my behaviour was extreme and different, but it wasn't until my diagnosis that I finally realized the behaviours I had were a part of something. It gave meaning to them.

 

My biggest issues surround abandonment, emotion regulation and anger. For example, my ex-boyfriend broke up with me 10 months ago and I am still sooooo hung up on it. My emotions are all over the place.

 

What are you specific struggles if you care to share?

[dsw31]

Thank you for sharing that J_L_C!

 

I can totally relate!

Some days, I'm fine & some days, I still have a roller coaster of emotions about my ex & we broke up about 15 months ago! He is still the one person who can effect me more than anyone else in this world! I think our breakup destroyed me so much because he had BPD too.I have days when I want him back & then days when I hate him & wish death on him.I still have to see him in the neighborhood so it's definitely still a huge trigger for me.

 

I have huge problems with abandonment but I also don't want to be smothered.It's a fine line.I'd say one of the biggest things I struggle with each & every day is the chronic feelings of emptiness.

 

I really struggle with my identity as well.I feel like I dont know who I am or what to be like,when I dont have a boyfriend but-I'm too afraid to open my heart up again to find a boyfriend and get hurt or "abandoned" again so I'm just trying to learn to be happy alone.I can't even imagine what true happiness feels like though.I can remember feeling empty & dead, well....for as long as I can remember.

 

I am not dating anyone & trying to see if therapy can help but, I'm not really sure how much it is going to help.I feel hopeless & worthless most of the time.I look for validation from others but,those compliments only make me feel good for a little while....it's never enough.I can go from feeling like I am the best thing since sliced bread,to feeling like the nastiest piece of crap within minutes.

 

I can say that there is one thing I love about my BPD & that's my sixth sense.I can pretty much read anyone!Just from the most subtle facial expressions,body language & their energy.

[TaraMaiden]

Congrats dsw31!!

 

Happy newyou day!!

 

Talk to dreamingoftigers....drop her a note.... I know she's decided to try to wean herself off LS for a while, because it was becoming addictive. So she may not be around as much....

but I'm sure she wouldn't mind you writing to her.....

 

I too, shall soon be posting maybe one day a week...(new job!! FULL TIME!!!) and it will be hard to let go....but if anyone is an absolute egg-head on personality disorders, she takes the trophy.

 

She's amazing....

 

Take everything she says on board and measure it for yourself.... don't take my word for it - or hers even - and I know she would agree with me for saying that....

However, she really is extremely knowledgeable.... between her and my local hospital psychiatrist, I'd take her any day.

 

Read some of her posts.

 

Fascinating....... (I bet you said that like Leonard Nimoy in your head.....)

Edited June 15, 2013 by TaraMaiden

[dtj567]

To the op, I'm glad you find some answers. I have avoidant personality disorder and it is relieving when you actually get an answer. You why you do the things you do. I hope everything goes well with you.