Enna Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 DO NOT LOOK AT ANY SOCIAL MEDIA! This is KEY to your recovery!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 Hi all, the extreme sadness has passed for the moment, and I even "forgot" to think about him for some time now. I realized I've been obsessed with this person, and I need to reverse the process. He's just not that awesome, or handsome, right? It's my mind who thinks that he is, it's my mind that doesn't want to see the truth yet. I'm glad I have this forum, because every time I come here, I read all the comments and go back to reality for a while. I wish I dont have to come here anymore, and that I internalize all of this. That day I'll be really happy and free from this obsession again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Doll he is drunk he is liar and he is player what's there to think about or obsess about. Now I'll admit I had same experience but once I saw him for who he is all I felt was relief you know why : I was not in love I was infatuated by what he presented me with in honey moon stage and now he is selling same c... to some underage girls or 40 year old ones to young or to full of desperateness is his pick. You don't love him you love what your picture of him you see Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 I dreamed about him all night long. I woke up a couple times, and dreamed again. Its an insane torture ugh. Then I woke up crying and coulnt stop thinking whats hes doing, etc... Im sick on my stomach, feeling really sad now. Is this normal? Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 16, 2013 Author Share Posted June 16, 2013 I have to write here because I have the urge of looking at his pics, and I just can't let that happen. I'm feeling dizzy, nauseous, and very depressed right now. I feel a void inside me right now, and tears on my eyes. I know how bad was everything, yet this addiction is very strong. I'm gonna win though, I won't let this situation hurt me again. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 I've read your entire thread and the great advice other LS members have given. Trust me, they are spot on. You can look at pics, letters, old texts, but it will only make you want more. You will ache to want some kind of contact that won't benefit you at all. Just think of how he sent you two messages that literally gave you pain just wondering what you should do about them. Love is not like this. Love doesn't make you feel this kind of pain. Someone WHO loves you won't put you through it. As said many times, your ex clearly knows how you feel and is just as happy to throw you miserable crumbs knowing you will be desperate enough to take them. That's his "care" for you. Just an emergency-in-a-glass FWB when he is in between girlfriends. You have to believe that is not the limit of your worth. IMO, there is no such thing as the perfect good-bye or closure. Breakups are ugly and no matter what questions you want to ask, games either of you play, or explanations that are given, you (as the dumpee) won't be happy with WHY your ex decided to leave you. It took me alot of time when I came on LS back in 2009. I was devastated and confused by my ex just like you. Today, I am with a man(for past two years) that treats me amazingly. If my current relationship ends(which it CAN because life is just that way), I know now that I have the confidence to know my worth and that doesn't involve being an ex's afterthought. You can do it. Don't plot or plan anything to keep your ex involved in your life. Make it your duty to severe the ties and leave him on the roadside curb. Never look back. And please DO NOT respond to any type of contact from him. Anything your ex does is to keep you in a state of hurt. He knows it and so do you. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Inviv_girl Posted June 17, 2013 Share Posted June 17, 2013 This relationship is clearly not on equal footing, by which I mean you care a lot more than him. Those relationships don't work. You are clearly in the the position of the weak party. Not a good place. Forget this guy. Don't make yourself desperate; I promise you will feel foolish later. This is so true. This guy is a jerk. He is not worth it!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 17, 2013 Author Share Posted June 17, 2013 Thank you. He's not throwing any breadcrumb anymore. I'm not texting, or looking for him on the internet. He's gone. I even forget about him for long periods during the day. I'm making him disappear. I don't have any hope of seeing him again. I don't want to see him again. This is finished. Period. He made me believe he was the good guy, always cool. He's an idiot, and I don't care anymore about him or his stupid way of living. Sometimes, I felt sad for him. He gave me the impression he was somehow lonely, full of problems...I wanted to help him. But he's a manipulator, and he has a lot of issues. I don't even care what is he doing. I feel so stupid, I've lost so much time wondering and looking for him, he didn't deserve me or my time. He'll always be a loser. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 Am I crazy or what??? One moment I think I'm over him and I detest him and detest everything related to him, the other moment I'm almost crying and mourning... Now I'm desperate again to contact him (I'm not contacting him, I just have this extreme urge), and I feel extremely sad for everything that has happened. I feel that I am the one to blame because the relationship didn't work out, and it's my fault he didn't love me as I did. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Am I crazy or what??? One moment I think I'm over him and I detest him and detest everything related to him, the other moment I'm almost crying and mourning... Now I'm desperate again to contact him (I'm not contacting him, I just have this extreme urge), and I feel extremely sad for everything that has happened. I feel that I am the one to blame because the relationship didn't work out, and it's my fault he didn't love me as I did. Ugh. I think someone here said these relationships are like an addiction. Symptoms are going to come and go, usually in waves. I really had those the first two weeks post break up. I get this HUGE wave of sadness, denial that we we done again and then want to call her. I quickly talk myself out of it due to realizing the relationship crashed and burned due to her issues. She wasn't going to change and as such, we were not compatible. Hell, no one is with her! I'm 2 1/2 weeks post divorce. Each day gets much easier for me. I had a great date last night w/a gal that was MUCH better looking than my ex and have more lined up this week. I'm not wasting 5 more minutes of my life moaning over a person who said she didn't want me in her (f-up life) anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Am I crazy or what??? One moment I think I'm over him and I detest him and detest everything related to him, the other moment I'm almost crying and mourning... Now I'm desperate again to contact him (I'm not contacting him, I just have this extreme urge), and I feel extremely sad for everything that has happened. I feel that I am the one to blame because the relationship didn't work out, and it's my fault he didn't love me as I did. Ugh. Nah, you aren't crazy. The ups and downs are normal, especially when it's as fresh as it is for you. Moving forward isn't a steady process -- there are definitely peaks and valleys. You'll notice that with time that the lows become less and less low though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Hi all! I don't even know how many days have passed since I last texted him for the last time. Because this time I'm not counting days anymore, this time I just don't care how long has passed, the only thing I know is that I will not see him ever again. It's sad to write here though, because it makes me remember those old times when I was still obsessed with him. There is no obsession anymore, but instead I have an empty place I need to fill, still don't know how. I haven't looked for him, I haven't texted him, I haven't looked at his pics, I haven't looked for him on the internet. NOTHING at all. I don't have any hope either, and it's curious, I don't want to be with him anymore. I still feel sad sometimes, and I today I missed having sex with him... but I hope this sensations will also pass... I can see now how sick was everything, and I can also see he is a troubled man, with too many issues. I'm sad I chose to get attached to him. Thank you all for your help. without it, I couldn't have moved on. YOU OPENED MY EYES, AND YOU MADE ME SEE THE TRUTH. THANK YOU!!! I'll be around Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 19, 2013 Author Share Posted June 19, 2013 Gosh, I checked my posts and it's 5 days since last contact. It really seem to be like months! I've processed a lot of information in this 5 days, and I also changed. I'm not the same, and I don't have the same feelings for him anymore, that probably mean I wasn't in love with him after all. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted June 19, 2013 Share Posted June 19, 2013 Hi all! I don't even know how many days have passed since I last texted him for the last time. Because this time I'm not counting days anymore, this time I just don't care how long has passed, the only thing I know is that I will not see him ever again. It's sad to write here though, because it makes me remember those old times when I was still obsessed with him. There is no obsession anymore, but instead I have an empty place I need to fill, still don't know how. I haven't looked for him, I haven't texted him, I haven't looked at his pics, I haven't looked for him on the internet. NOTHING at all. I don't have any hope either, and it's curious, I don't want to be with him anymore. I still feel sad sometimes, and I today I missed having sex with him... but I hope this sensations will also pass... I can see now how sick was everything, and I can also see he is a troubled man, with too many issues. I'm sad I chose to get attached to him. Thank you all for your help. without it, I couldn't have moved on. YOU OPENED MY EYES, AND YOU MADE ME SEE THE TRUTH. THANK YOU!!! I'll be around Good for you, but PLEASE be aware that you will have days that you crave for him to be back in your life and other days where you couldn't care less what he is doing and are thankful he's out of your life. WALK right through the pain of this breakup. Don't short-cut it, don't mask it, don't lie to yourself about it. Cry as much as you need...truly grieve him. Trust me. It works. I stayed NC and even when HE broke it, I kept on...moving on. My ex showed me that he would lie, cheat on me and leave me for another so he was no good to me ever again. Fight through the bad days with fire and ice and you will make it! The only time you will be ready for your ex is when you feel indifferent about him. You will know the feeling of indifference when you arrive there. Don't pretend you don't care, someday you really won't care about him at all Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 Ugh, I'm in a very sad wave right now. Thinking I'll never find someone as attractive as him. I'm thinking about our moments, and I feel very sad well never be together again. This is awful, I can't stand it. I've tried to chat on a dating site but the one I was interested didn't reply to my messages anymore, and now I feel a terrible void of not being with my ex. I feel I'm dyin, I'm terrible sad. :( Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 I proceed to block him (I can't block him on my iphone though). I'm very sad, I always knew he was a player, and a liar, but be always was there for me, and he never cancelled our meetings. I'm feeling awful, I don't know how to feel better now... Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 Thanks Emilia, for reminding me he was a player and a liar. But the fact he was always there for me doesn't help at all. It's true, he was always there for me. I wonder what's he doing right now, if he is with someone else, if he is finally in love, if he is happy. I can imagine him being the most happiest men in the world, having fun, surrounded by the love of his life, kissing her and smiling. I'm imagining him in a yacht, in the middle of the ocean, in a sunny sunny day, drinking champagne with the blonde curvy woman he loves, while I'm here, my legs not even razed (since last time I saw him!), miserable, drinking my coffee alone, with tears in my eyes. That's how I imagine him right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Ugh, I'm in a very sad wave right now. Thinking I'll never find someone as attractive as him. Hm me thinks you'll need to use your brain more next time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 Well, that's true: he was extremely hot and I need to use my brain more next time. Ugh I don't have any hope right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Thinking I'll never find someone as attractive as him. I'm really hoping you aren't this superficial. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 Thanks Emilia, for reminding me he was a player and a liar. But the fact he was always there for me doesn't help at all. It's true, he was always there for me. I wonder what's he doing right now, if he is with someone else, if he is finally in love, if he is happy. I can imagine him being the most happiest men in the world, having fun, surrounded by the love of his life, kissing her and smiling. I'm imagining him in a yacht, in the middle of the ocean, in a sunny sunny day, drinking champagne with the blonde curvy woman he loves, while I'm here, my legs not even razed (since last time I saw him!), miserable, drinking my coffee alone, with tears in my eyes. That's how I imagine him right now. Don't imagine him like this. Don't even think about him at all. You are needlessly torturing yourself. Never give into thinking about him, never give into pity parties. It's no wonder you feel so bad if you are thinking these things all day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 I'm really hoping you aren't this superficial. no, I'm not. My mind is a mess today. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 no, I'm not. My mind is a mess today. Fair enough. But if their looks is one of the primary things that you miss, it just shows how little there ultimately was, which might make it easier for you to move on quicker if you put in the effort to do so. There are plenty of attractive people in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forgetmenot75 Posted June 20, 2013 Author Share Posted June 20, 2013 Thanks god I have this thread to read when I think of him. I re read all youve said, and I'm feeling a little (just a little) better. I was thinking how his eyes looked like. Always elusive, like the eyes of a rat. I was always worried about his eyes, because they seem so weird, almost scary. And the pauses he made when I asked him something like "have you been with anyone lately?" He just made a pause, a long pause, without saying a word... Link to post Share on other sites
Frank13 Posted June 20, 2013 Share Posted June 20, 2013 My ex husband loved me. I didn't love him back. I love this other guy. This other guy didn't love me back. This other guy love this other older woman. The other older woman didn't love him back. Sadly this is the reality of love in 99.9999% cases. That's why people don't stay together and why this website exists. Link to post Share on other sites
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