Second Chance Stats!!!! Please Post. I think it will help us............THANKS

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

Im just trying to get some input on second chances. I figured I would start this thread abd see how it goes. Hopefully people will reply. Hopefully it will give us some inspiration. I just need something so I can sleep at night, im sure you all know what I mean. So here it goes,ok? I wanna get some stats from relationships that had second chances. How long you were together for? How long you were broken up for? Did you date during the breakup? Did your ex date during the breakup? How much contact did you have duing the breakup, if any? Please post stories about yourself, friends, or family, etc..... I just hopefully want people to realize that if its meant to be it will come back. Thanks....................Kodiak

[Lonestar]

How long you were together for? How long you were broken up for? Did you date during the breakup? Did your ex date during the breakup? How much contact did you have duing the breakup, if any?

 

My exhusband and I were together for almost two years.

 

We were broken up for a little over two years.

 

I didn't start seriously dating again until 1.5 years later, and although I definitely had some fun with guys, I never slept with anyone else. I didn't like anyone enough for that. Yes, people, I went for more than two years without sex. It sucked, but I'm happy I did it.

 

From what he tells, he didn't start dating again until around the same time I did. He did sleep with other women, but says he thought about me the whole time and missed me. He said he never felt the way he does with me with anyone else, and something along the lines of "f**k those other bitches." hehe

 

Neither one of us got even close to serious with anyone else.

 

We had almost no contact during the breakup. I stopped speaking to him completely about two months after we separated and he filed for divorce. He would call on occasion, but I refused to respond. As soon as the contact began again two years later, it didn't take very long for us to end up back together.

 

 

I don't think you're going to get a huge response to this thread, kodiak.

[LuvHurtsme]

Yea Im inclined to agree with Lonestar, very few people are gonna have second chance stories. Fortunately I have one.

 

Me and my gf broke up around FEB after being together about 1.5 yrs. and I was heartbroken. She quickly dated someone else, as did I. She never slept with anyone and I did on several occasions but they meant nothing. It was more out of self pity, than anything. We fell out of contact till about May only calling each other every few weeks to check up. She dropped the bomb on me that she was moving to Arizona with the guy she was dating. My second chance had pretty much gone out the window.

Around mid JUNE she called me and we decided to meet and have a talk, she had broken up with this guy and wasn't going to Arizona anymore. At this point I was currently involved with someone else whom I was falling for more and more everyday. When we met up tho the feelings were obviously still there because we were kissing and holding each other. So I told the other girl I was dating that I was getting back with my Ex. We started slow and to make a long and painful story short, it just didn't work. So much had changed since we broke up, we werent the same two people that had fallen in love. A breakup really changes you, on both sides of the equation. She always held resentment toward me and was sometimes just down right mean.

I still love the girl dearly but I couldn't be with her anymore. I think Second Chances are for people that were in advertenly broken up. People who are acutally meant to be. Perhaps I will have another chance with her but second chances are rare...and who the hell gets a third.

 

-Luvhurtsme.

[UnicornGirl]

A friend of mine's husband of several years moved out.

 

She fought him at first, pleaded, begged, the whole nine yards.

 

But then she told him, "I love you, and I want you to be happy. Even if it means you want to be with someone else. I just want you to be happy."

 

They started seeing each other once a week. She never begged or cried again, and just focused on enjoying the time with him.

 

After a few months, they got back together. They talked about what they wanted in the relationship and needed from each other. Each agreed to make changes for each other.

 

Her situation had seemed totally hopeless, to herself and to the average observer -- but when she focused on loving him rather than her feelings of resentment and anger and other such destructive emotions, she was able to have fun with him again.

 

They're back together and better than ever.

[kodiak]

Hey Everybody-

 

thanks to those you have replied. They are right about this thread there probably wont be many replies howver i just thought that it would brighten the day for some of us. Remember even if it replies to a friend or family member, please post. Thanks again.......................Kodiak

[Brooklyn8503]

my bf and i dated for 9 months...broke up because of his living arangments w/his parents-they thought he was doing drugs and told him i'm not allowed around anymore, he has to go to rehab, and he has to move out-the stress was too much for him and it effected our relationship.

 

we were apart for 2 months. in that time we both worked together and we wouldn't even talk because i was pissed about the reason we broke up.

 

a month and a half into our break up, i finally cracked and wrote him a letter telling him the way i felt. he was seeing another girl and i had started seeing another a guy during our breakup. when he confronted me about the 5 page letter, he told me he thought very irrational when we broke up and that he still wants me in his life the way we had it before. we had become best friends and we both felt like a huge part of us were missing. after our big talk about everything that happened since our breakup and about the breakup itself, we started doing things as friends again. my then-ex told me he was going to request a transfer at work so he could get out of his living situation and asked if i would go with him becuase he was transfering to a store at Kent State University. He knew i was taking a break from my schooling there and that i had plans on returning soon.

 

i agreed to go with him and we both discussed the fact that we both feel very strongly about each other and it was going to be just the 2 of us living together and stuff may happen between us even though we were just friends. so we got a 2 bedroom apartment and we work at the same place but usually on 2 different shifts because of my schedule with school. the first 2 weeks living together were a bit ackward because we had spent long periods of time with each other at each others houses but our parents were always around. now we have no parents to worry about and we are slowly rekindling what we once had. we often times will be sitting in the living room and we will both be cuddling on the chair. sometimes we both occupy the same bed but nothing sexual has happened yet. we both agreed to take our time and not rush this but we both also see a long future ahead.

 

i'm telling myself that something may happen though and it may not work out but i'm hoping for the best.

[findinmyway]

My Husband (ex) and I have been divorced for three years. We have been living together since January, trying to reconcile. However, unlike Lonestar, a lot happened with us while we were apart. In January I thought none of that mattered, that we could overcome anything. Especially since we have children, it would be worth it.

 

I feel different now. I think alot of things depend on how much you've grown apart, how much water is under the bridge. Not only because it is hard to forget and forgive. But, because all of that stuff really changes you as a person during a time like that. So, trying to come back together after you've changed so much is really difficult.

 

I also think it depends on how strong your love is for this person. I really believe that if you love them enough, passionately enough, you can overcome many things. But, it has to be really really strong to begin with.

[zoezeroseven]

[font=arial][/font]Hello. It's been a long time since I visited loveshack and this is my first post in months. I have a second chance story.

 

I left home when I was pretty young, emancipated, and my bf and I lived together while I was a junior and senior in high school. He couldn't talk to me and he seemed cold and unemotional, but I knew he loved me. He wouldn't tell me what he wanted when I moved to college which I was completely set on doing. So I decided I needed more, moved out, and went to college.

 

That summer and the first few months of college life were terrible. During this time, he was calling my best friend (they never even talked b4 that) and crying to her. His friends all told me that he was really messed up and sad. Everyday was hard for me too. I felt like the pain would never go away, that there was no one else for me, that I ****ed it all up and could never get it back... the best thing that would probably ever happen to me. So I told my friend to tell him that I still loved him a lot and that, if he wanted to call me at my new house, he could. He called, he promised to be less distant and to be there for me like I needed him to be. I promised that I would love him for who he is, but I just needed him to try. So, in that way, we agreed to at least try to give eachother what we needed. I need emotional closeness and he needed comfort and certainty.

 

I just graduated from college last May 2004, but he wasn't there to see it. We made it a totally of 6 years, 2 in high school and 4 in college, but we eventually broke for the same reasons that I originally had a problem with. If you are interested in that long story, you may be able to find my old posts from earlier this year. That's when I joint the loveshack and you were all very supportive.

 

Thanks for reading this.

[Mollyanna]

I had a serious boyfriend in High School. He wanted to get married - I thought we were too young and I wanted to wait. It broke us up because i freaked out and started wanting to date other guys. Ten years later, we run into each other and start dating again. This time it didn't work out because he was so cynical - always thinking I was going to break up with him again. And yes I did because that attitude is eventually what drove me away. I was ready to be serious this time and he was too afraid....

 

Now fast forward to the present... I dated X for several months where it was hot and heavy and moved way too fast. We broke up and stayed friends. Then we starting seeing each other again within 2 weeks. Then we were together for another couple of months and broke up again. Then we tried no contact. I think that lasted a week or two and became friends for 2 months. Then we ended up sleeping together again. So for the past few months we have been just friends w/extras - however we are together most evenings and talk on the phone almost twice a day everyday. I am hoping for a second chance but honestly I think this is all he can handle. I think both of you have to really love each other for the second chance to work. You have to love each other enough to really work at it.