cottom Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 3 weeks ago I was woken up at 3am by 3 different people texting or Facebook messaging me that my gf was kissing some guy in the club... I confronted her and she said he came up and made out with her out of nowhere. I know enough about guys in clubs that they don't just run up to a girl and force themselves on to them and run off, she must have been getting close and giving him signs that it was okay to try and kiss, such as intimate dancing or such. I said this today and she thought about arguing against it but then decided to admit "yeah i was dancing with him". I don't know what to think, with the hiding details from me and getting close to other guys when i'm not around...what do others think about this?? Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 She is not good girlfriend material, she's only your girlfriend when your around and I think she is openly dating. Guess you already know she lies. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 10, 2013 Share Posted June 10, 2013 He didn't force himself if she willingly participated. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 You got three texts from people stating that your girlfriend is kissing up on some guy. You didn't get three text that said some dude was kissing up on your girlfriend and she slapped the sh*t out of him. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 3 weeks ago I was woken up at 3am by 3 different people texting or Facebook messaging me that my gf was kissing some guy in the club... I confronted her and she said he came up and made out with her out of nowhere. I don't know what to thinkMay I interest you in a few bridges I have for sale? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Suave Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 You don't live in Vancouver do you? I made out with a girl in a club a few weeks ago who gave me all the signs of being single, then started balling her eyes out saying that she had a boyfriend. Felt terrible but hey, how was I to know? Act single and you'll be treated as such. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 3 weeks ago I was woken up at 3am by 3 different people texting or Facebook messaging me that my gf was kissing some guy in the club... I confronted her and she said he came up and made out with her out of nowhere. I know enough about guys in clubs that they don't just run up to a girl and force themselves on to them and run off, she must have been getting close and giving him signs that it was okay to try and kiss, such as intimate dancing or such. I said this today and she thought about arguing against it but then decided to admit "yeah i was dancing with him". I don't know what to think, with the hiding details from me and getting close to other guys when i'm not around...what do others think about this?? Sounds like she's earned herself a one way ticket to FWB-ville. While I normally advocate telling her as such, I don't in this situation. You should consider a secret demotion for her. Then go out and meet other girls. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eclypse Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I fing hate skanks like this!!! Here's a story for you.. My son was 17 at a party. ( No not condoned ) He and this female were getting very heavy with eachother during this party, witnessed by upwards of 20 other people. They had intercourse. (This was the loss of my sons virginity). Her boyfriend was told she was being intimate and showed up at this party, where the girl them proceeded to say my son raped her. To make herself believable after her bf blew up, and to save face he brought her to the police. They investigated it. It was an extremely emotional time for my family. She changed her story a bunch of times, witnesses were gathered, she had even attempted to give him oral in front of others. Eventually she recanted with all the evidence. These girls can destroy people's lives. They are selfish, horrible people. That is a truly terrifying story, and one that appears to be all too common these days :| Link to post Share on other sites
Author cottom Posted June 12, 2013 Author Share Posted June 12, 2013 Thankyou for the advice, she did say she shoved this guy off her but i see it as go into single mode as long as theres no touching just to feel wanted and get attention...as soon as the guy touches what shes offering she tells him to go away. Is it a problem with me she needs to go searching for others or is it her? Link to post Share on other sites
chuzzbug Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Two possibilities, neither are good for you. One of them is very bad for her. 1. If he actually did force himself onto her, that's assault. Why haven't the police been notified. Bad for her. 2. It was consensual. Bad for you. It's all bad. Link to post Share on other sites
It's Just Me Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 she said he came up and made out with her out of nowhere. When I was 20, a guy tried that. It lasted a split second before his nads got a taste of my foot. And I didn't even have a boyfriend. Lies, lies, lies. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrRightNow Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 She has no respect for you or the relationship. Time to kick her to the curb. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I fing hate skanks like this!!! Here's a story for you.. My son was 17 at a party. ( No not condoned ) He and this female were getting very heavy with eachother during this party, witnessed by upwards of 20 other people. They had intercourse. (This was the loss of my sons virginity). Her boyfriend was told she was being intimate and showed up at this party, where the girl them proceeded to say my son raped her. To make herself believable after her bf blew up, and to save face he brought her to the police. They investigated it. It was an extremely emotional time for my family. She changed her story a bunch of times, witnesses were gathered, she had even attempted to give him oral in front of others. Eventually she recanted with all the evidence. These girls can destroy people's lives. They are selfish, horrible people. Holy crap this would enrage me. Link to post Share on other sites
HoneyBadgerDontCare Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I fing hate skanks like this!!! Here's a story for you.. My son was 17 at a party. ( No not condoned ) He and this female were getting very heavy with eachother during this party, witnessed by upwards of 20 other people. They had intercourse. (This was the loss of my sons virginity). Her boyfriend was told she was being intimate and showed up at this party, where the girl them proceeded to say my son raped her. To make herself believable after her bf blew up, and to save face he brought her to the police. They investigated it. It was an extremely emotional time for my family. She changed her story a bunch of times, witnesses were gathered, she had even attempted to give him oral in front of others. Eventually she recanted with all the evidence. These girls can destroy people's lives. They are selfish, horrible people. Unfortunately, this is the norm for our society. More false rape accusations (so the girl could either save face or get back at a guy and ruin his life) than actual rapes. I also know a few guys that this happened to. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Thankyou for the advice, she did say she shoved this guy off her That's not what everyone else is saying is it? Or are you going to continue living under a rock? She made out with a dude. That requires her to make out. If the guy went in for a kiss and she struggled, do you think people would be texting you that "she made out with him"? Obviously, she tongued the guy for long enough to arouse suspicion in three of your friends who witnessed it. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocksock Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I guess some guys are ok with being a Cuckold. Link to post Share on other sites
BeholdtheMan Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 I guess some guys are ok with being a Cuckold.Yes it really is quite sad. The weak and desperate are willing to sacrifice dignity for the attention of people who don't respect them. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Annapol Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Lol, I still jump when my boyfriend puts his arm around me at a club, and we've been dating for almost two years!! I know I don't react well to people touching me at bars... Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Why did you allow her to go to the club in the 1st place dude Next thing, you'll be suggesting that he ground her for two weeks as a punishment. Come on - asking him why he "allowed" his girlfriend to go to a club isn't really helpful to the guy. He picked somebody immature enough to go to a club and snog another guy when she was I a relationship - and worse still, she's proved herself to be the kind of person who would lie in a way that could cause serious repercussions for innocent parties. It seems to me that the lesson is "ditch this girl and think about looking for somebody with a better sense of adult responsibility next time" rather than berating himself for "allowing" her to go to a club when realistically very few people in the free world are going to have the kind of relationship where one party gets to dictate the movements of the other in the way you seem to be suggesting they should. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted June 12, 2013 Share Posted June 12, 2013 Ok, give her the benefit of the doubt, but look at the big picture - she was dancing with a random guy who felt entitled to kiss her. Dancing with other men, flirting with other men constitute an attempt to cheat. Did she say she rejected the guy when he kissed her? OP, it's not your fault if she acts upon her need to go out and flirt with other men, it is her issue. There are plenty of women who have bf, go out dancing with their friends and yet no man kiss them, and you know why? Because those women did not talk, dance or flirt with any of the guys who've expressed interest. You cannot control her lack of judgment, her lack of restraint and of consideration for you or for your relationship. You are not responsible for her actions, either. You can only control your actions - continue to stay and eventually get cheated on, or leave. Lemme tell you what I think - if she was crazy about you, especially since she knew that friends of yours were around, she would have behaved like a marble Madonna, for fear of losing you or for fear of those friends texting you that she didn't behave. What she did is not just disrespectful to your relationship, it's disrespectful to you, as a person... I think you should let this one go, it looks quite bad from here. Link to post Share on other sites
dasein Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 OP would talk to the people who texted you directly, not via text, to get their account of things before taking action. Looks bad, but you have the luxury most people don't have of several eye witnesses to what was actually taking place. Weigh their accounts, and any bias they may have in the matter in making your decision. Good luck. Sorry to smoocherific, that is an awful thing your family had to endure. We never see that side of these scenarios in the media, or only after the sensationalist cat is well out of the bag. Link to post Share on other sites
therhythm Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) Why did you allow her to go to the club in the 1st place dude, what did you think she'll do in the damn club? she'll do what people in clubs do, she would get in "slut mode" and dance with horny men who look better than you, she wouldn't say no if a guy she finds very attractive came to kiss her after they danced together, its not only her fault, its your fault too to allow your gf to go to such places. Adult people are granted free will in democratic countries, you are no one to tell other person what can or can't do. You can set boundaries in a relationship where both persons agree on them but you can't allow or disallow anything to other person, you can only choose the actions you would take and you can decide to take action as repercussion of other people actions... that is all you can do! My advise to you, is to lose that controlling attitude, it won't get you very far Edited June 13, 2013 by therhythm 1 Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 I dunno sounds sketchy. I was at a club with my girl one time and this dude came walking by as I was talking to her and grabbed her butt for like a full second (which is a long time when you think of it) and just kept walking. I followed him into the bathroom and told him to apologize. He got right in my face and said "what are you going to do about it?" Without getting into too many details, lets just say he'll think twice before doing that to anyone ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 O.P. The only person whose actions you can control are your own. 3 texts from friends would pretty much indicate to me that this girl is neither worth your time or your effort. If her personal boundaries are so miniscule as to throw caution to the wind and risk doing this in front of your mutual friends then I am almost certain this is probably only scratching the surface of what she has probably done in the past. At the very least you now know what she is entirely capable of.....so continue this relationship at your own peril. The Hills.....find the nearest one and head for it...away from her... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BradJacobs Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 what do others think about this?? Don't break up with her until you find a suitable replacement but I'd be looking for the suitable replacement right now. Limit emotional investment. Stop paying for stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
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