Can't Make Good Friends or Find A Girlfriend

[gd1039]

Maybe someone here can unravel the mystery of why I have so many girl "friends", but no girlfriend. 90% of the people I talk with are girls, but none of them are good friends, they are all more aquaintances.

 

I only have one good friend that I hang out with regularly and thats a guy. He's fun to hang out with but not to try and meet girls around. He will never approach a girl, and if I do and then bring him into the conversation he ends up saying something retarded because he has 0 conversation skills. Or if I point out a girl that I think is cute he says "yea, but your not her type". He actually can be quite a douche sometimes. A perfect example of his flawed method for meeting girls...we were at this coffee place last week and there were two cute girls sitting by us. My idea was to say something relevant to them (like ask a question or whatever) to hopefully open up more conversation. He thought that we needed to act normal and only talk to eachother. So, I decided to let him have his way, we kept talking to each other and low and behold they never approached us. I was shocked too.

 

So right there, you can see how I am at a slight handicap because my only oportunities to meet girls is while I am alone, which is frequent, but there aren't many good places to go alone condusive to meeting others.

 

Everyone else I know are people I hang out with at work or college but almost never hang out with or talk to outside of those circumstances. People like being around me, I'm fun and outgoing but I spend most my time sitting at home, at work, or doing school work. I try hanging out with the people I know but aren't good friends with, but it rarely materializes into an actual activity.

 

I can meet girls, but before I even approach them I could bet 10 to 1 that it will disipate into nothing within a week or two. I know I don't come on too strong because I always worry if I came on enough and whether they know I am interested or not.

 

It isn't like I don't try and just complain. I take as many oportunities that I can to talk to girls that come into my work or that I see at school, in class or wherever. Incase no one caught on, I'm frustrated. Not only can I not find a girlfriend, I can't seem to make any good friends.

[gd1039]

Ohh yea, I wanted too add one more thing. I have met girls while not looking for them, as well as seeing a girl I really wanted to talk to and just approaching her. I have gotten dates in both situations. Maybe I do try a little to hard, but I have had success meeting girls in either instances.

 

And as far as friends go, well I certainly try to make friends with everyone I can meet. So again it isn't like I sit in class in the corner with my head on the desk the whole time. And also, I recently joined a club, and met a couple people there but I wouldn't call them friends yet.

 

Even just with finding friends, it is alot easier to ask someone to hang out when you have a group doing something. But since it's rare that I have some group thing going on, it is a little weird to just ask some guy (or even a girl) if they want to go shoot some pool this weekend or go to the football game.

[Aingealag]

Well, this sounds familiar... I do have a boyfriend, but my social situation sucks. Same as you, I try, but no one's interested in anyhting more than chitchat. Sucks doesn't it. Maybe it's something in our attitude, like some uncertainty that you can just tell when you look at someone, you know? When I get a cold response from someone, I get real down, but I always try again. When I figure out the secret, I'll let you know :-)

 

Aingealag

[verbatim]

The more I chitchat with people at my college the more I learn that 9/10 (overexaggeration) of them are potheads. What the hell, stupid stoners are taking over. Seriously though, alot of people could care less about making new friends because they have their High School buddies still, so if you are from out of town or something (like myself) I dont know what advice to give. Just saying I know what you mean.