couldhavebeen Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 this summer, my mm and i were together for almost a month and finally we made it but before knowing I am positive, we had a fight and his family is coming home from their vacation. I was thinkimg, it's one of his reasons why he picked a fight with me. Anyway, our on and off relationship for more than 4 years finally got into me and I felt so fed up with his reasons of not being with me. So, I decided to cut all communication and even resigned from my job. Now, I'm pregnant with no work and am so scared with what's going to happen to me and my baby. I revealed my situation to my family and they accepted it and is giving their full support. I'm just not sure if I can keep my hands off my phone from calling him. I'm too afraid for his rejection this time. So, my pride is keeping him out of my system for a while. Am glad I am having his baby though even if he doesn't want it. Am I this crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
Baby123 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Ah I'm a new FM and only had a short A, but I really hope you're okay. Its great you have family support, and with or without him, you'll make it. Stay strong and focus on being healthy! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Journee Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I am very sorry you are hurting. I'm not even going to touch the affair you had right now. Once a child is involved honestly the needs and wants of the adults just don't compare anymore. You should not have to be alone in the financial and emotional support of this small human being. I believe (and this is just one stranger's opinion) that the MM needs to be contacted along with the wife. Do not make your child a shameful secret. No more cloak and dagger. This baby matters and you should make sure that they matter. You do not want this child growing up in the shadows and asking questions they cannot get the answer to. MM is what he is but now he is going to be a father. Do what you need to do legally to establish paternity when need be and get things in order for your child. I am just going off of your very short post. This is just my opinion of course about a very difficult situation. Good luck to you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
bellasue Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 My opinion is that you definitely need to tell him you are pregnant. He will be, and should be, financially accountable for the child. I wouldn't expect him to be overjoyed about the situation, but he's involved too! Just my two cents worth. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Hon, this is something very delicate. Its bringing life into a world. this is something you should let him know about. Just be careful, and tell him that you honestly dont want to tell him as a plot of anything but you just want him to be aware that you are having this baby. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zevahc Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Whether he accepts the situation or not, he is responsible. You should tell him...regardless of his reaction, and then hold him responsible. I've been a single parent for over 10+ years and I'm a male! Kids first.... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 Yea but what if hes psycho..... I know i know... i watch too much ID but its reality.... I think you need to tell him but not tell him in a way that he feels threatened. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
zevahc Posted June 11, 2013 Share Posted June 11, 2013 I don't think she needs to necessarily expect anything from him,although of course he SHOULD be, but requiring him to do so, I don't know. That seems off to me. I know, that's letting him off the hook, but if he isn't going to be responsible I think she also needs to require him to give up his parental rights so that he can't come back later and decide that NOW he wants to be a dad. Probably another unpopular opinion I can agree with that...give him a choice. Don't necessarily let him off the hook, but understand that if you don't need him to be there for financial responsibility...and he doesn't want to be in the picture..then you are certainly better off without him in your life...as well as the childs (in my opinion) if he's not going to be there for him/her. Don't let him be the type that hurts the kid constantly! And oh yeah...this goes for both men and women...this isn't a gender thing! Link to post Share on other sites
Author couldhavebeen Posted June 18, 2013 Author Share Posted June 18, 2013 I can agree with that...give him a choice. Don't necessarily let him off the hook, but understand that if you don't need him to be there for financial responsibility...and he doesn't want to be in the picture..then you are certainly better off without him in your life...as well as the childs (in my opinion) if he's not going to be there for him/her. Don't let him be the type that hurts the kid constantly! And oh yeah...this goes for both men and women...this isn't a gender thing! I've told him already 2 days after confirming I'm pregnant and before revealing it to my family. but he's got this super duper high pride that I can't break he didn't even said a word that's why I'm so pissed. But then again he probably think that once he's going to give his support, I'd require him to leave his family. I can't let him do that and he won't either from his reaction. So, I just decided to cut him out just to save myself from going crazy over him. I can no longer handle his snobbish attitude. I'm just done with it and tired of understanding his situation. Thank you all for all the advise. I'm already 35 so this is probably my last chance to have a baby so I know this is a blessing. Am just lonely that my kid would grow up with no father though... pray for me. tnx! Link to post Share on other sites
zevahc Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 I've told him already 2 days after confirming I'm pregnant and before revealing it to my family. but he's got this super duper high pride that I can't break he didn't even said a word that's why I'm so pissed. But then again he probably think that once he's going to give his support, I'd require him to leave his family. I can't let him do that and he won't either from his reaction. So, I just decided to cut him out just to save myself from going crazy over him. I can no longer handle his snobbish attitude. I'm just done with it and tired of understanding his situation. Thank you all for all the advise. I'm already 35 so this is probably my last chance to have a baby so I know this is a blessing. Am just lonely that my kid would grow up with no father though... pray for me. tnx! I'm a single dad. Sometimes one good parent is better than having a bad, non-caring parent in the picture. Depends...always put the child's best interest first. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted June 18, 2013 Share Posted June 18, 2013 Am I this crazy? you were crazy for getting involved with a MM, but not for wanting to keep the baby. this POS needs to fulfill his responsibilities as a man- a REAL man! i say you take him to court and make him pay his dues. if you don't, i fear he will do this again to someone else. i bet that snobbish attitude will cease to exist once you do this. these people have this attitude because others don't call them on their BS. they feel entitled to do these things. don't let him off the hook that easy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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