Not Ready Yet? Liking me but avoiding me

[Sepsa]

Hi to all,

 

I have a question...I'm a little confused.

 

Can a girl walk away (at least for now) from a guy she says is everything she could ever want in a man? Even though we're just friends, we've expressed feelings for each other that go beyond friendship. But she says she's taking a break from love since she's recently out of a bad relationship (cheating and lying).

Can she really like me but avoid me for now because she's "not ready yet".

 

She keeps in casual contact through emails, I guess letting me know that I'm not out of the picture?

 

And what should I do? Wait for her to come to me?

 

Thanks all!!

[Merin]

Give her the time and space she needs right now to recover from the bad relationship she just got out of.

 

She may really need the time right now to pick up the pieces of her life... a bad relationship can still be very hard to get over when you break up.. she has had someone betray her trust, and she is wanting to be cautious right now to not allow that to happen again.

 

Look at it this way... it's better to wait now, then to be a potential "Rebound" relationship that ends because she just needed someone right then to help her up.

 

Good Luck

[sepsa]

Hi Merin2,

 

Thanks for the advice. I appreciate it.

 

It's funny that you mention the rebound because shortly after her breakup, we started hanging out but kept it as just friends. However, after a while, she realized the potential danger and even told me she didn't want to start anything with me because she would be on the "rebound".

 

I guess it was a good sign that she realized this and didn't want me to be just a "rebound" guy?

 

Paul

[whichwayisup]

Can she really like me but avoid me for now because she's "not ready yet".

 

Yes! She is still in touch with you, so that is a good time. She just isn't ready yet to be heavily involved with someone else until she feels like she can handle it. That is a wonderful thing to admit, I'm sure it was hard for her to tell you that because she knows she cannot give fully yet and if you and her did get together it wouldn't be the right timing.

 

Never rush a good thing...

[sepsa]

Thanks whichwayisup,

 

You made good points and when we had our heart to heart, she said "it's so hard for me to listen to you express your feelings for me, yet I'm just not there right now."

 

So I think you nailed it when you said it was hard for her to tell me she's not ready yet.

 

She just emailed me again today...the emails seem to be picking up in frequency so we'll see?

 

Sepsa

[whichwayisup]

I'm glad what I said helped. It's true, the backing off does work, less pressure on her and just be a good friend for now. Hold hands and be supportive...Already she's shown you that she's interested and is moving forward slowing by doing more emails!! That's great!!

 

Keep on posting and let us know how it all goes!!

[sepsa]

Hi everyone,

 

Here's a quick update...

 

My birthday was a few weeks ago and I she sent me a be-lated birthday card. It was with a really nice poem about what a special friend I am and what I mean to her, etc...

 

Then she signs it with oxoxox?

 

It's almost like mixed signals? I mean don't you usually reserve oxoxox for boyfriends, girlfriends, etc.?

 

We've never crossed the frienship boundary so I guess she couldn't send any type of card other than a friendship card? Or is she trying to tell me something?

 

Anyway, I know she really cares about me and has admitted she has feelings for me but just isn't ready yet. I suppose I should still play it cool and wait for her to come to me?

 

Thanks.