I told her I love her and she doesn't even want to talk to me. Will I get her back?

[sadaggouri]

We were friends with this girl for like 8 months. I really liked her and that's why I took the opportunity to talk to her. But as we were talking everyday, I discovered she's an amazing person and very fun to talk to. We were going out, talked on the phone for hours, texting each other everyday 24/7. She always told me about her in problems including the ones she had with guys. I never told her I like her because I was scared and I knew I would be rejected and she would never talk to me again after that -plus she liked one guy that is such a douchebag and has treated her like ****-.

 

Despite the fact everytime she was talking to me about other guys my heart broke, I prefered not to ruin this amazing friendship. However, a sign that this whole dreams starts to collapse comes in mid April when she asks me if I like a girl. I told her yes, but I didn't want to tell her which one(you understand why) . After that she told me that she got offended by my action and she didn't talk to me for like 2-3 days. I couldn't stand this so I was forced to randomly tell her a lie that I like one of my classmates. And after that we continued talking normally.

 

So here starts the very weird thing ; everytime she talked to me about her guy problems, I would kinda cry on the phone for that, but I was always telling her that it was for the girl I like and that I cannot do anything about it. On 30 April after her school trip, she was telling me on the phone at midnight about a classmate of hers that she really starts to like again and that they were always together on the trip. I couldn't stand this and I cried to the point she realised it and I randomly became kinda more aggressive to her and telling her that it was about the girl I like. She insisted telling me that I should talk to her and I said "No I will be rejected."

 

The next day(May 1) I apologized her about what I did the previous day and that I was so sorry for freaking her out. She was very cool with me and told me "it's okay" . However, she seemed very distant. She didn't text me the whole day despite the fact she was online. I decided to wait until midnight. I asked her "is everything ok?" she answered "yes" and I told her "yeah but if you don't like to talk to me tell me straight" and she just kept answering ok to everything I was telling her.

 

I decided to call her 19 times (oh yes ) on the phone and she hung up to each one. She also decided after that to put me in the Restricted list on her Facebook. I decided to leave her alone because I was leaving the next day (May 2) for my Easter holidays. However in my route, I couldn't resist to cry so I sent her a big apologise text and I was begging her for another chance(not the best thing I could do TBH.) She answered and told me that because my behaviour was excessive in some subjects she prefered us to split up.

 

I panicked when I read this and I insisted on telling her to forget what she saw these days but she told me that she doesn't feel good anymore to hang out with me and she won't change her mind and I can't do anything about it. I decided not to disturb her anymore. At some time, she put me off the restricted list and asked me how my sister was going with her finals but only that. After 3 weeks(May 27) these things happened I couldn't stand it anymore and that night, I spilled the beans to her. I told her in a long text that I was lying and that everytime I was sad was about her, that I love her and that I wanted no one to hurt her etc.

 

She told me "wow finally you rarely meet boys where you can tell them their problems and they tell you theirs. How naive was I?" and generally she was answering with very very short messages. This was the last time I talked to her. From then, she has set me offline on Facebook, recently Restricted me on that too and I also got informed 2 days ago from a mutual friend that she didn't feel comfortable to hang out with me because I liked her.

 

She said she got turned off from my excessive behaviour before I tell her I like her.Her mutual friend advised me just to give her some time. She also told me that she was talking with that douchebag again, but she has kinda turned her off . I can't stop crying since these things happened. 2 months I'm surviving. I really love her. I cannot deal with the fact I might have to move on. I don't want to move one. I just want us to be friends, I don't ****ing care if I cannot be her bf. I cannot stand not talking to her.

 

I WANT US TO BE FRIENDS AND HAVE FUN! What do you think guys? Do I stand a chance ?Will she change her mind? Does she even miss me? Thank you for reading this!!

Edited June 11, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[sadaggouri]

In a nutshell, I only face it as a break up because I really liked her and love her but she was just my friend and I never told her.

[Chi townD]

What break up? You weren't even dating! You told her how you felt and she pretty much tossed you and your feelings under the bus.

 

Now, she telling people that she doesn't feel comfortable around you. That's where you ended up! You tried to get out of the friend zone and she beat you down for it.

 

Dude, there are tons of girls out there that would love an opportunity to be with a guy that's passionate and that can wear their heart on their sleeve and you're hung up on one that enjoys playing mind tricks on you more than your feelings.

 

I have more to say on this, but I have to go teach a class. I'll be back with a little more.

[sadaggouri]

What break up? You weren't even dating!

Yeah, and that's the reason I think she might come back. And also, it's a indisbutable fact that many other users here suffer much more pain than me. However, I still feel like I have lost my """gf""" although she never was, plus when we were friends she once told me I am not so good looking. She seemed to consider me a very good friend though.

[sadaggouri]

I also want to tell that I obviously apply the NC rule even if we were not dating. She was the first to apply NC and the last time I talked to her was 2 weeks ago so I guess it's just 2 weeks NC. Totally it's 2 months. The thing I want to ask is will this work only to heal myself or will make her contact me again? I was informed she is talking with the douchebag she liked/likes but she has turned her off.

[Teknoe]

Ouch. It's over man.

 

When a girl is telling you about her guy interests all the time, that's a big fat clue that she is not seeing you as anything more than a platonic friend.

 

That plus you were displaying creepy stalker-ish tendencies. Seriously, calling her 19 times? Think about that. That's more than extreme. That's scary, and it's no surprise you scared this girl off.

 

You were too emotionally invested. You should have given her more space and been more nonchalant.

 

Chalk it up and learn from it.

Do not contact her again.

[sadaggouri]

When a girl is telling you about her guy interests all the time, that's a big fat clue that she is not seeing you as anything more than a platonic friend.

Yes, I already knew that she couldn't see me anything more than a friend. I thought however, if I treated her good she would change her mind. I was never so wrong.

You were too emotionally invested. You should have given her more space and been more nonchalant.

Wise words my friend,wise words.

 

I don't know though. Although I know it's probably over, I don't want to give up any hopes.

[sadaggouri]

Just reached 20 days of NC after I told her how I feel and it's a total of 50 days since we last spoke normally. Longest 1.5 month of my life. I'm gonna keep the NC as long as needed , although there are times daily where I feel urged to break the NC.

[sadaggouri]

Update : Strangely, she just unblocked me off Facebook. I don't really know if this is a sign that she doesn't care anymore or a sign she may, I repeat may come back. Oh well, she maybe tries to play with me. Guess what, I am keeping NC no matter what.

Edited June 17, 2013 by sadaggouri