Why am I So Shy / Socially Awkward :(

[SoleMate]

i wasted my whole youth being depressed. omg.. how can i forget this ever happend?

Is that the question you're trying to get answered? If so, then I suggest changing your goal from "memory erasure" to "putting my past life into context". You may be feeling sad, angry at yourself for wasting part of your life, or filled with regret at everything you may have missed. Right?

 

Well, try this: "I was doing the best I could at the time. Now I know more, and I will be even better in the future."

 

Please be as specific as possible in your requests. We're here to help, but we need to know what exactly the problem is.

[finalf72]

alright ill try to be more speciific in the future

[Karlise13]

Finalf72...

 

You really are having a hard time dealing with your 'past' and you seem genuinly tortured by it.

 

From what I gather, you're taking meds now?

Are you getting therapy too? I haven't re-read this entire thread.

 

If you feel you are 'clicking' with your therapist, that's terrific!

 

If you don't feel that way, give it another few months and then shop around some more. Finding a therapist you like and respect and can work with is very important.

 

I would keep a daily diary and track your mood, diet, excercise trends.

 

I would also investigate sun lamp therapy; try googling 'sun lamp therapy' or 'light therapy depression' and see what you come up with. Some people find their depression is alleviated by sitting under a sun lamp (the safe kind) for 20-30 minutes per day. Helps raise serotonin levels!

 

 

Remember; too many of us waste time worrying about a future that hasn't happened yet and agonizing over a past we can't change.

 

Perhaps your past will serve you well in the future; yes, it was full of pain. But perhaps your knowledge of pain will help you connect with people in a certain way in the future. The gift of empathy is a great one.

 

Many great teachers/motivators/leaders originally started from places of great pain, despair, despondancy. You don't know yet what life has in store for you. The things you overcome now will make you stronger, wiser and ultimately more self-reliant.

 

It's hard to see that now. But it's the truth.

[HappyInNJ]

I agree with SAVETHEDRAMA4YRMAMA and KARLISLE13, in that it sounds like a case of depression.

 

I myself used to be the opposite; In my past, I used to be very talkative, outgoing and socially engaged. Then I went through a divorce, my ex. took my son and moved to another state, then I had a bankruptcy. Then I became very blue, my head was in a fog, then the self esteem issues kicked in.

 

My point being that life (and experiences in life) have a funny way of affecting you, and it's how you cope physically and mentally. It took me years to realize what was going on, and then I sought counseling. I tried several medications until I found the right one that worked.

 

Now, I have become more assertive, and the fog lifted. It's been a few years since this happened, and it has been a huge relief.

 

Please seek counseling, and let the Professionals determine your road to healing.

 

Best of luck!