Help!

[unsureofthings]

Hey guy's, I really need your help here!

 

My wife and I of only 1 year seperated 2 months ago. During this time we had no contact until recently. I called her to break the ice and we ended up talking for an hour. We were laughing and having a good old time like we used to when we first met. Things almost seemed exciting again! We decided to go out and did so a few days later. We had a really good time. I asked her what was going on and she said that she thinks we should take things very slowly and that the seperation may have done us some good. It was a chance for us to realize that we took eachother for granted and it may of even saved our marriage? It's called the 180 technique.

 

I guess my question is how long do you think I should wait? She wants to take things slow and so do I but what is a realistic goal? I mean I dont want to sit here for months and months but then again dont think it's best for her to move in tomorrow either? I'm just very confused about the situation.

 

Anything will help..thanks!

[Papillon]

How old are you guys? A marriage is HARD WORK. It's not barbie and ken house house, and I think you've realised it with a shock.

 

You don't go into much detail, but you have to resolve those issues that precipitated the seperation, before you continue.

 

Counselling is good. Very good. You seem prepared to make the commitment.

[unsureofthings]

Hi,

 

I am prepared to do anything it takes. I'm very traditional and want to make sure that I exhaust all efforts into my marriage before throwing in the towel. To me, marriage is a very sacred commitment that should'nt be taken lightly but should always be taken with a grain of salt.

 

I guess I should fill you in on a couple things. Her father has been an alcoholic for 14 years ever since her mother passed away. Alot of of issues came from her fathers drinking as she was always worried and frustrated and would then take things out on me. When we seperated, her father finally went into detox and has been sober now for almost two months. Not only does she have our issue but her fathers aswell as she doesnt want him to fall off the wagon again. I totally understand this but we are important aswell. When I saw her a few days ago she said that she didnt want to talk too much about our relationship yet is it would put to much pressure to fast. She just said that we should take things slowly.

 

I guess I'm wondering how long this should take? How long should I wait? I also feel as though she is calling the shots through this reconcilliation a little? To me it sounds like she intends on working this out but slowly? She sent me a email today asking how my weekend was and to let her know when she recieves any mail. A little confusing or is she just emailing with an excuse? I dont know?

[Ilovehertodeath]

Lets be real here.....You want to bang her brains out, already!! LOL Just messin with ya. She said she wants to take things slow so I guess you are stuck on her watches' time. Nothing you can do about this...Let her decide when its time to do whatever.

 

GL bro. keep your head up!

[unsureofthings]

Shouldnt this be a joined effort? Shouldnt it be a 50/50 split? I mean, it's not like I cheated on her or anything? Our seperation was 50/50 and our reconcilliation should be 50/50, right? I guess it boils down to how much I love her and am willing to wait, right? If there are any women reading this, please post and guess what she may be thinking and how slow is slow?