Searchin81 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Ran into the ex the other day. we broke up a few years ago. after we broke up he married quickly. Prior to that h be said being single isnt what he thought it was going to be, i didnt belive him. We text sometimes, sometimes we become very expressive with our feelings.. its hot and cold.. we go through periods where we text a couple times a week and somtimes not for months. He thinks he is bothering me and once said "Sorry to bother you".. anyway Seen him the other day.. he was with wife.. they walked by me , she went first, her back turned, and as he walked by me he quickly grabbed my hand squeezed it and conituned walking.. then text me three hours later just saying my first name. and that was it.. what is going on? does he still have feelings for me? what should i do.. Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 You should tell him to leave you alone since he is married and no good will come of it. Who cares if he still has feelings? He is married. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
veryhappy Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I'm confused. Was it possible for the two of you to be together when he chose to marry his woman? He's quite a charmer squeezing your hand when the wife was two feet in front of him. Great guy, certainly worth the effort. What you should do is forget about him and not reply his one word texts. It's quite ridiculous considering you're not teenagers. You're not some lost love. He chose somebody else. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) I'm confused. Was it possible for the two of you to be together when he chose to marry his woman? He's quite a charmer squeezing your hand when the wife was two feet in front of him. Great guy, certainly worth the effort. What you should do is forget about him and not reply his one word texts. It's quite ridiculous considering you're not teenagers. You're not some lost love. He chose somebody else. when he chose to marry the other person, i was not speaking to him and cut him off without warning because he made me mad over something, that in hindsight was very stupid of me. I acted foolish. three months later he was engaged. Edited June 13, 2013 by Searchin81 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 when he chose to marry the other person, i was not speaking to him and cut him off without warning because he made me mad over something, that in hindsight was very stupid of me. I acted foolish. three months later he was engaged. You're acting even more foolish now. He's M-a-r-r-i-e-d. leave well alone. delete and block his number. Do not engage with him in any discussion, conversation, call email or text. He is a married man. He has a wife. If he starts something with you - trust me now - it will all go terribly pear-shaped and you will most definitely regret it. Why? Because he won't leave her, and will have sex with you, and sex with her. How do I know? regular, common and very frequent scenario. If he really wanted to be with you - he would have left her already. He doesn't, but he wants you as a mistress. He's not daft..... Run away from this, full pelt. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 i dont think he is using me for sex.. we have not had any interactions like that. i think he may still have feelings for me Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 Yes I'm sure he does. But he WILL use you for sex. And he will stay married. Keep away from him and don't fall into the standard trap of "He still loves me and he will leave her for me!" because the general rule of thumb is that he won't..... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 (edited) Yes I'm sure he does. But he WILL use you for sex. And he will stay married. Keep away from him and don't fall into the standard trap of "He still loves me and he will leave her for me!" because the general rule of thumb is that he won't..... why wont he? its not like this hasnt happened to people before. but i dont think he is trying to use me for anything.. Edited June 13, 2013 by Searchin81 Link to post Share on other sites
sweet_pea Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 The point is, he's married... don't go down that path. If you already have, you need to get off of it, ASAP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 13, 2013 Author Share Posted June 13, 2013 why should i give up that easy if i love him. i always think about him. If he feels same why should i not try. no idea how he feels, but way he acts says something 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 If you truly love each other that much then tell him you will have a real relationship with him if and only if he divorces her. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 BECAUSE - HE'S - MARRIED!! Never, ever becomeembrioled in a married relationship! If he really feels as deeply for you, he will make moved to leave his marriage!! If he doesn't - then leave well alone! You're dicing with a really dangerous situation! It's not fair on you and it wouldn't be fair on her! I don't really care how you feel about her - but put yourself in the situation of being married to a man you really love - and you thought loved you - only to discover that for a long time, he was re-kindling relations with his ex, sleeping with her and being unfaithful!! It would break your heart!! Don't be party to a cheater's amusement!! If he wants you that badly - tell him to leave his wife! Why share? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chaser0195 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 why should i give up that easy if i love him. i always think about him. If he feels same why should i not try. no idea how he feels, but way he acts says something His actions say I want to have an affair with you and by the way you are talking, you've already made up your mind to do it no matter what anyone on here says. Even though you should really listen to all of us because we have all been there and are trying to save you a lot of heart ache but if its want you are determined to do then go a head. Its your life. See ya back here soon when it all blows up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherLife Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 i dont think he is using me for sex.. we have not had any interactions like that. i think he may still have feelings for me You are right, he is not using you for sex - YET. But that is certainly what is on his mind. He is just setting the trap for you to walk straight into. Make no mistake, he is playing you!!! Random text messages filled with emotions are just breadcrumbs to help lure you in. He is MARRIED. I am sure you have made it obvious to him that you are still interested. If he really and truly has feelings for you, he will leave his wife to be with you. Until that happens, run as fast as you can and as far away as you can from him. If you don't, I guarantee that you are heading into major heartbreak territory... Please don't go there!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 no i haven't made it clear to him actually... One time i teased him and told him i had something really important to tell him and made it sound like that but i told a joke lol.. but he was eager and was telling me just say it and do it Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 of course he's eager. he gets to play! maybe you haven't drawn him a diagram, but you've definitely let him know where you stand. don't do it. as some others have suggested, tell him to look you up when/if he's single, and if you are too. btw, he's not a nice guy. keep that in mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 i give up on it for a while.. then he does something or contacts me and makes me think i have a chance. Link to post Share on other sites
Lillyfree Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 i give up on it for a while.. then he does something or contacts me and makes me think i have a chance. a chance for what? what is your perfect scenario with this guy? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Ran into the ex the other day. we broke up a few years ago. after we broke up he married quickly. Prior to that h be said being single isnt what he thought it was going to be, i didnt belive him. We text sometimes, sometimes we become very expressive with our feelings.. its hot and cold.. we go through periods where we text a couple times a week and somtimes not for months. He thinks he is bothering me and once said "Sorry to bother you".. anyway Seen him the other day.. he was with wife.. they walked by me , she went first, her back turned, and as he walked by me he quickly grabbed my hand squeezed it and conituned walking.. then text me three hours later just saying my first name. and that was it.. what is going on? does he still have feelings for me? what should i do.. Can we say..Ego feed? That and he's playing you a bit. Selfishly. You two are NOT friends at all. Texting and then not for months, why? What is the point? Except to feed feelings that are all based on the past. Again, WHY? What are you getting out of it? Forget what he thinks and feels, why are you settling for table scraps? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 i give up on it for a while.. then he does something or contacts me and makes me think i have a chance. He knows if he throws you a tiny bit of attention, bam! You're there, eating it up. God, he is treating you like crap and probably wondering why you still pay any attention to him! Then he ignores you, for months, contacts you again - And you think you have a chance with him? I am sorry that I'm saying this harshly but please, wake up. You have no chance with him. Nothing he's said or done shows that he is in love with you or wanting to be with you, to divorce his wife and start over. You're giving yourself hope by allowing lust and your emotions get the best of you. He's playing you. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 i dont think he is using me for sex.. we have not had any interactions like that. i think he may still have feelings for me No. If he had true feelings for you, he'd respect you and not play you like a fiddle. STOP letting your heart and emotions rule here. You need to take a giant step backwards and start being more objective. You are projecting your own feelings onto him and giving yourself hope where there is none. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Searchin81 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 How do I stop having hope and projecting feelings? Belive me I want this to stop.. It's tourtue. But I do fine for whole and bam, he does something or text something that gets my mind going. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherLife Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 no i haven't made it clear to him actually... One time i teased him and told him i had something really important to tell him and made it sound like that but i told a joke lol.. but he was eager and was telling me just say it and do it Oh? So when he contacts you, do you say to him "please do not contact me. You are married and this is inappropriate." Or when he "grabbed your hand and squeezed it" did you pull away?? If you have answered NO to the above questions, then you ARE actually making it VERY CLEAR to him that he has a chance with you for a fling. Link to post Share on other sites
AnotherLife Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 How do I stop having hope and projecting feelings? Belive me I want this to stop.. It's tourtue. But I do fine for whole and bam, he does something or text something that gets my mind going. Ignore any future contact. Do NOT reply. Delete it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 How do I stop having hope and projecting feelings? Belive me I want this to stop.. It's tourtue. But I do fine for whole and bam, he does something or text something that gets my mind going. Change your number. This piece of shi.t is NOT even a friend. He's a cancer to you and he makes you feel bad and uneasy inside, that's a fact for sure! Make it impossible for him to contact you. You don't have it in you (sorry!) to ignore him. He knows this too and you know what? HE DOESN'T care either. Where's your pride? Self esteem? Anger?! This guy is making a fool of you, GET PISSED OFF and cut him out of your life. Even though it'll hurt you, it's the best thing for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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