Stag nights or stag weekends? Guys, do they get out of control? Any experience!

[lilian]

Hey, I was just wondering. Most of my boyfriend's friends got married and he got invited to a lot of stag weekends where the guys would spend about three days in Spain, Italy or wherever together and have a wild time.

 

The latest thing seems to be Eastern Europe (Latvia, Estonia etc.). My boyfriend never went to any of those as I wouldn't have liked it!

 

I don't understand these "stag nights". I mean, guys seem to really push it. Get REALLY drunk, maybe even go to strip clubs together.

 

What's the point in it? In my opinion this very disgusting behaviour has got nothing to do with marriage and looking forward to marrying the one you truly love!

 

Do you know of any situations where the groom has actually been pushed so far that he cheated on his future wife!?

 

Just curious?

 

Thanks guys!

[zara]

do a search under bachelor party and you will find many tales of woe on this forum!

 

I'm a lapdancer and stag parties are my bread and butter and i have to say that they vary. some really are awfully drunken messy groups and some are quite controlled - it tends to be the older ones who are quieter and more mature about the whle thing and personally i doubt any stag much enjoys getting drunk to the point of puking and being tied to the pole whilst dancers ritually humiliate them and pour ice/ shaving foam/ silly string down his trousers.

 

I have had stags cry and say they don't want to be there, but their friends have made them come and they really don't want a dance (in which case i usually take them to a booth and talk to them for the dutration of a dance so they don't loose face).

 

as for the cheating, well, that bit would happen outside the club but if you read the tales on here, it does happen.

 

The whole going to eastern europe thing is very popular at the moment and there are tons of strip clubs over there that are dirt cheap (a dance in the uk will cost 10 - 20 quid whereas in eastern europe you can get a dance or live sex show for a fiver) and far more explicit (girls open their legs and use didos and vibrators, which in my opinion ain't dancing and is more like hooking!) - we often get drunken obnoxious guys complain that they 'get a better show in Latvia" "Then p-off back there cuz i don't do that kind of thing! This is a club for gentlemen not sad perverts!" is usually my reply before i get them thrown out!

[lilian]

hey zara

 

Thanks so much for your reply.

 

I remember my boyfriend being invited to his best friend's stag weekend to Estonia about a year ago. I trust him and told him that he could go but that it would make me feel quite bad and that I just couldn't spend a single night in peace, despite the fact that I trust him.

 

He ended up not going and I am really happy about it. Because it does sound like "too much to handle for the girlfriends, wives that are left at home."

[zara]

i'm glad that your man respected you enough not to go - many would not. Even i had this argument with my ex bf! He wanted me to give up dancing (i did, although i'm back now he's gone!) but he wanted to go to a strip club for his mate's birthday! He didn't go in the end - i said, bring your mate round and i'll do the job!

 

How would the men feel if their wives said "hey honey, just off for a weekend to see some handsome young Serbian men men touch each other up and simulate / have sex whilst we stick money in their garter - see you in a couple of days!"... hmmm, think i may have just found a gap in the market...

[lilian]

Hay Zara

 

That's exactly how I feel about it!

 

It's such a dilemma. You don't want to be too tough on your boyfriends and trust them and give them their freedom but there is just things that WILL GET A GIRLFRIEND worried whether she's cool or not. And 4 days in Estonia going from strip club to strip club is one of them

 

So, are you a bad girlfriend if you express your concern? If I ever get married I really don't want my future husband to go away for four days but am scared that his friends tell me I'm overreacting!

 

I mean, trusting your boyfriend is hard enough! There must be a limit where it has got nothing to do with a woman's trust but where the whole idea of going away on totty tours for four days is just PLAIN WRONG

[zara]

You are not a bad girlfriend - but there is a whole group of men out there who will tell you that you are!

 

I beleive there atre plenty of other things a guys can do for his stag weekend - book a weekend shooting (obviously somewhere where there are no strip clubs!) or go-karting (ditto!) or a wilderness/ survival/ fishing weekend (no strip clubs out in the forests of scotland!) or a boys holiday to Barbados (no strip clubs there!)

 

I think it is so sad that perfectly normal decent women feel pressured by society into accepting things like strip clubs and porn becasue they are scared of being labelled controlling or frigid - it is just as bad as the days when women were pressured into not having sex before marriage because they would be labelled sluts or loose. And other women become compliant in those judgements by indulging in the labelling!

[lilian]

Hey Zara

 

I'm really glad I can talk about this with someone who actually IS a dancer! All my friends are very catholic (and my boyfriend is NOT catholic and English) and I cannot talk to my friends about these things as they just absolutely don't understand these customs and probably think that my boyfriend comes straight from "Soddom and Gommorrha" as he's invited to stag weekends to Estonia!

 

Now, I am NOT controlling at all and actually like a bit of fun myself. My boyfriend and I often don't come home till 8 in the morning, clubbing and doing all kinds of "stupid" things, together!

 

Therefore, feels good to speak to someone like you who seems to be open minded but still (in my eyes) knows what love, relationships, good (male) friends and marriage is all about!

[zara]

Lillian,

 

thanks. i like to think of myself as pretty level headed and not unreasonable. i may be a dancer but i also have some pretty high personal standards (which is probably why i'm single!) - heck, i can have a wild time with the best of em (hey, you sound like you could too, we should get together some time!) but i happen to think there are some things, like honesty, respect and honour that are important.

 

I assure you that England has not yet descended into Sodom & Gomorrah... although it could get there without much effort and a shove in the right direction!

[Fritz]

Some sadly can get out of control. I've not heard any stories personally about a groom cheating but I'm sure it happens. Also, on the flip side of the coin, "hen parties" or bachelorette parties can be just as bad . I've heard horror stories from both sides. I think ultimately, people are just going to have to trust their partner when it comes to stuff like this and if it really really bothers one of you, the other should take that into serious consideration. Whats really sad is the hypocrites on both sides who say one thing, and then go off and do the other.

[MrNice]

My friend got drunk at his Bachleor party and did "things" to the stripper ...9 years later ... divorce ... and it was ugly.

 

They had alot of problems and this kind of activity "cheating" was on of them.