Chong1987 Posted June 13, 2013 Share Posted June 13, 2013 I met this girl in February at our community college class. She gave me her phone # because I knew somebody who could help her with class. She started texting me every morning, lunch break, night etc.. for about 4 weeks she constantly texted me. I really liked it, I like her. after 2-3 weeks of texting we started hanging out at her place. **she has really bad drama with her ex and health problems** she ended up in the hospital once already since we've been talking. Her situation at her place is rough, she shared a lot of her problems with me which she told no one else. She's just had bad luck. We both said we couldn't be in a relationship, not a public one, just a secret one. We progressively flirted, cuddled and watched movies, she told me she likes me alot so many times! She seemed obsessed. I tried to kiss her after 4-5 good nights at her place. She turned away, she told me again she likes me alot she's just weird about kissing.She took me on a overnight trip to Arizona, she got a room for us. We became closer, about 2 weeks ago I had sex with her 3 nights in a row, came over the following night she said she felt weird and didn't really want me touching her, she had done this a few times before we even became intimate. Since then, these last 2 weeks she has been really distant, she sends me a "hi" text or "just got off work" text, but she doesn't respond much to my texts or flirts. What happened?.. She told me **** hit the fan at her place, I know it did, I know she is going through so much, at the same time I think she see's me differently after we had sex. I know I shouldn't worry about what I can't change, I wish I had some insight into her thoughts. Maybe she's trying to slowly let me go Link to post Share on other sites
melodicintention Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 You made yourself too available. You both moved fast and spent a lot of time together and the newness wore off extremely fast. Women will get weirded out by any guy (so don't take it as a personal issue with you) if he's there constantly in the beginning. It probably made her feel "smothered" all of a sudden. I know because I am girl and have had a couple of flings like this in the past and I reacted similarly. Being too available is a classic dating mistake all of us have made in our youth. You will never be able to gauge her feelings or disposition communicating through text messages. If you want to know how she feels, you must do the old fashioned thing and all her and/or speak to her in person. In the future try to pace yourself a little more. The rush is great, I know, but it fades off fast. And keep your communications to face-to-face to eliminate miscommunications. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Immortality Posted June 14, 2013 Share Posted June 14, 2013 Like a child with an ice-cream, women are emotionally driven. Desire is transient. It's fuel is unavailability. Courtship (for a man) is a dance along the tight-rope of desire. And you fell off. Cease all communication. Meet interesting people (men and women) and do interesting things. As if by gravity, they (women) will fall - sadly, most likely including this girl. Whatever you do - do not look back! . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chong1987 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 I knew about making myself too available from my last relationship, So I let her do all the contacting. I never initiated contact with her, only a few times. She always contacted me. She still does text me everyday except a couple days and yesterday. Now she is just distant and unresponsive. I guess to simplify it again, lol.. Why would she go from being in almost constant contact to ignoring me? I don't want to ask her, to me it would make me look weak and desperate. But If I were to ask her what's going on, not why it's going on.. How should I phrase it? She told me she has a tendency to push away people early on when we met, she said I turn her on alot, but she was afraid to have sex and lose our friendship. I want to tell her I don't need sex, I want to keep our friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chong1987 Posted June 14, 2013 Author Share Posted June 14, 2013 She has invited me over twice about a week ago, and I turned her down. That's all she really did was ask me over, not saying much else. I told her before that I would have a hard time being friends with a girl who I'm really attracted to. I think I could still be her friend though because we've talked a lot and I see her as a good friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Immortality Posted June 15, 2013 Share Posted June 15, 2013 Girls talk a lot. Most of it should be ignored. Actions matter. She has STOPPED sleeping with you. She can talk of what she likes, but the facts are irrefutable. Now she will STOP talking to you. Why would you NOT want to sleep with her? You sound guilty; wrapped around a proverbial thumb and too foolish to realise it. You have been offered good advice to stop talking. Do you think people are saying that because they're stupid? Because they haven't seen your situation? Because it doesn't work? If you carry on and ask her more idiotic questions, you will turn your failure into a source of regret. The two of you will NEVER be friends. And why would any man want to JUST be friends with a woman he finds attractive? That is masochism! Follow the advice. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Chong1987 Posted June 15, 2013 Author Share Posted June 15, 2013 I'm not contacting her.. She text me tonight and said Hi. I know she still has some sort of feelings for me, sexual or otherwise. I'm not initiating any contact with her, at the same time I will not ignore her. Whatever happens, happens I'm not going to ask her what or why? unless she brings it up. Actions do speak louder than words.. I learned this in my last relationship too..lol.. We were friends since February and didn't kiss until end of May. Link to post Share on other sites
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