zoobadger Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Disclaimer: I read only the original post, but hope this post is something people will find generally useful: I absolutely do not want to be with my soon-to-be-ex anymore, but when I feel blue about our failed marriage and the dissolution of our family I look at this list. I had almost none of these things with her. If you didn't have these with your spouse, you should wait until you find somebody who will provide them. Basic Rights in a Relationship If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evans (1992) suggests the following as basic rights in a relationship for you and your partner: The right to good will from the other. The right to emotional support. The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy. The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view. The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real. The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive. The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business. The right to live free from accusation and blame. The right to live free from criticism and judgment. The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect. The right to encouragement. The right to live free from emotional and physical threat. The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage. The right to be called by no name that devalues you. The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
marqueemoon4 Posted June 16, 2013 Share Posted June 16, 2013 Disclaimer: I read only the original post, but hope this post is something people will find generally useful: I absolutely do not want to be with my soon-to-be-ex anymore, but when I feel blue about our failed marriage and the dissolution of our family I look at this list. I had almost none of these things with her. If you didn't have these with your spouse, you should wait until you find somebody who will provide them. Basic Rights in a Relationship If you have been involved in emotionally abusive relationships, you may not have a clear idea of what a healthy relationship is like. Evans (1992) suggests the following as basic rights in a relationship for you and your partner: The right to good will from the other. The right to emotional support. The right to be heard by the other and to be responded to with courtesy. The right to have your own view, even if your partner has a different view. The right to have your feelings and experience acknowledged as real. The right to receive a sincere apology for any jokes you may find offensive. The right to clear and informative answers to questions that concern what is legitimately your business. The right to live free from accusation and blame. The right to live free from criticism and judgment. The right to have your work and your interests spoken of with respect. The right to encouragement. The right to live free from emotional and physical threat. The right to live free from angry outbursts and rage. The right to be called by no name that devalues you. The right to be respectfully asked rather than ordered. I've seen this list before, and it's so on point. If/when I get into another ltr I'm printing this out and posting it somewhere I'll see it a lot. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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