Girlfriend and me split and now i feel depressed and alone

[Sukotto]

Well i've been lurking for a while and just reading most of the threads and it had been making me feel better but I took a turn for the worse just there. Here's the story.

 

My girlfriend and me have been dating for around two and half years and she'd been on holiday with her friends at the start of September. Six girls in total went to sunny Lanzarote. After she came back she had been acting very distant and wasn't very affectionate. I asked her what was wrong one night and told her how she'd been acting weird. The only reply I got was that she was tired and just needed to get back into a routine and she'd be fine once university started back.

 

Skip forward a week and its just at the end of September, she started classes on the Monday and we went out to the gym that night and then we just spoke the Tuesday and Wednesday. I made plans to go over to see her on the Thursday night.

 

I went over and we started watching something on TV and then during a break she turned it off and said she couldn't do this any more. She said she doesn't feel the same way for me any more since she came back her holidays. I left very upset without getting very many answers that night. She sent me a few text messages apologising but i didn't reply.

 

Friday was pretty bad, I just stayed in my bed all day and done absolutely nothing. I then decided to go see her that night and we had a long talk, she hadn't been cheating on holiday and she just couldn't explain what it was. At that point we decided to take a few weeks apart though she said I shouldn't get my hopes up.

 

On the Saturday morning I took some advice of a friend who said I should plan a date for 2 weeks on that date so well I did and I emailed her about it and she said sure. We're going for dinner, then to see a musical and then staying a 5 star hotel followed by a return train journey on the Sunday.

 

Well i've spent over a week and a bit without seeing her though I've had regular contact with her and we've been talking about university and what we were doing that night but not really brought up our relationship.

 

I still have strong feelings for her and we never argue even though our personalities are completely different. We'd done alot of fun things over the summer but I fear it got a bit repetitive towards the end. We went to London at the start of July, end of July we went away for the day and went on a day long cruise followed by dinner. Start of august we went to my Aunt's for the weekend and done some babysitting and other fun stuff. After that we didn't do very much apart from go to the gym every 2nd or 3rd night prior to her going on holiday and when she returned we just went to the gym some more.

 

I'm basically feeling depressed at the moment, I go to university in the morning which is extremely boring since I already know most of the material thats being covered. I then come home and then either go to the gym or just play some computer games, occasionally going out with some friends to the pub.

 

I'd talk to her about anything and would see her regularly and its the contact with her that I miss at the moment, I just feel so alone. I can't talk to my other friends about it since i feel uncomfortable discussing it and I don't feel I can talk to my mum about it. So I guess I'll just rant about it here.

 

I guess I'm after advice more than anything, should I see this coming Saturday as a chance to get back with my ex or should I see it as a chance to finish the relationship on a high? She says she still cares for me but doesn't love me any more.

[natashka67]

i just want to let you knwo that i know how you feel. youre one hell of a sensitive guy, and to let you know my story, im dating a wrestler who doesnt really care about it and im finding that a problem. youre always welcome to chat with me if you want some lovin, will support any problem as long as its not one of those sexual things cause i havent quite gotten to that stage yet. your girlfriend seems really wierd, no offense, but i think its time to move on. "everything has to change" and maybe shes not your soulmate, but then again, you never quite know that until you walk in someone elses shoes.

[Sukotto]

Well university went a bit better today. I had a day of Software Project Management *snore* followed by a rather insulting lab teaching us how to use Excel. I came home and watched CSI: Miami from last night and then had a chat with my ex on MSN, though we avoided the whole "us" thing and i helped her sort out her cellphone bill.

 

I'm looking forward to going out with my friends tonight to a bar and possibly a club, I guess i wont feel guilty about the temptation of other girls. I also spoke to my boss who said he can double my tasks so I'll make some extra money and probably send myself somewhere nice on vacation. I think i'll go see some friends in Hawaii after my exams in January.

[Nick14]

Sukotto-You say you and your g/f have different personalities...See thats a huge problem. I could not see myself with a girl who has a whole total personality then what I have, it just could not click. Thats probably the biggest problem, unless you did a typo in your last post.

[Sukotto]

Nope it was correct, our personalities aren't the complete opposite. But there not identical, I always found that when it was someone with the same personality that they always clashed in the end.

 

We argued once or twice in the whole 2.5 years and it was about silly things like what I was allowed to wear when going out or who was driving. I think the different personalites made for a better relationship.

[Strike3]

I've always got along much better with girls with different personalities myself. Why would I want to date someone with the same personality as myself?

 

But anyway, I know how you feel, just give her some space and put your faith in God. I went through all this about two months ago and the first month was horrible, but over the last two weeks things have gotten much better. The two things that really helped me to feel better was increased work hours and starting to date other people.